Living in the Culture

Mr. Knight I've Got a Suggestion

2012-01-26T22:35:00.003-05:00

Nike guru and founder, Phil Knight spoke Thursday at the public memorial service for Penn State Coach, Joe Paterno. The news wires and sports media are all abuzz with the portion of his eulogy that waded into the scandal that preceded the legendary coach's hasty departure from the Happy Valley campus in December. You can see his full tribute here.

While the media arm chair QB's were consumed with his comments about the scandal, I was more struck by a question he asked, "Who will be my hero now?" He started by saying that Coach Paterno had been his hero for 12 years since meeting at a Nike function. He ended by saying he did not know who his hero would be now and that no one knows.

Therein lies the problem for me personally. There's nothing wrong with admiring leaders, visionaries, family, friends, and other people. Taking cues from their lives, faith, careers, model and leadership is admirable and good. However, I think making humans our heroes is misguided. Why? Because EVERY human is flawed in some way. Paul says there is no one without sin, not one person. EVERY one of us is imperfect. Even if they don't fail, or disappoint us personally they will eventually die and we will have no one to follow. I don't know whether Mr. Knight is a man of faith or not. I'm not judging him either. That's not my place.

I just know that for me, I cannot idolize a human in light of ALL God through Jesus Christ has done for me. Now don't misunderstand me, I have heroes of faith and people I admire in athletics, business, politics (okay not so many in that arena), science, literature, theatre, etc., but I don't idolize them. I respect them. I learn from them. I look up to them and they encourage and inspire me, but at the end of the day they are not my life goal. You see, none of them died for me. None of them saved my soul. None of them can carry my burdens. None of them can forgive my sins. None of them can bring eternal comfort and security. Even great ones like Billy Graham, Mother Teresa, C.S. Lewis, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, etc., are not my idols. My idolatry starts and ends with God. It's the foundational point of the First Commandment. No God, but God! Only God is to be the apex of our affection, attention, devotion, respect, admiration and love.

When you watch Mr. Knight's eulogy you come away saddened by this particular comment. It's as if he's a little boy on the playground whose father is no longer there to throw the ball and he's desperately searching for his father. Shoes too big to fill by any human. How can someone so powerful, so rich, so smart, so successful utter these words? "Who will be my hero now?" I can't imagine the emptiness he must feel.

Mr. Knight I have a suggestion. Check out these old and precious words by Scottish pastor, Walter C. Smith in one of my faith's oldest hymns:

Immortal, invisible, God only wise, In light inaccessible hid from our eyes, Most blessèd, most glorious, the Ancient of Days, Almighty, victorious, Thy great Name we praise.

Unresting, unhasting, and silent as light, Nor wanting, nor wasting, Thou rulest in might; Thy justice, like mountains, high soaring above Thy clouds, which are fountains of goodness and love.

To all, life Thou givest, to both great and small; In all life Thou livest, the true life of all; We blossom and flourish as leaves on the tree, And wither and perish—but naught changeth Thee.

Great Father of glory, pure Father of light, Thine angels adore Thee, all veiling their sight; But of all Thy rich graces this grace, Lord, impart Take the veil from our faces, the vile from our heart.

All laud we would render; O help us to see ’Tis only the splendor of light hideth Thee, And so let Thy glory, Almighty, impart, Through Christ in His story, Thy Christ to the heart.

Now that's a hero! Still not convinced? How about the Apostle Paul's words in Colossians:

¹⁵ The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. ¹⁶ For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him. ¹⁷ He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. ¹⁸ And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy.¹⁹ For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, ²⁰ and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.

When Christ is your hero, you are saddened when humans you love and admire die, but you are not left without hope, or without a hero. He's a hero that helps you get through it!

The Days Are Fleeting: Seize Them

2012-01-25T22:57:00.004-05:00

Not long ago we were having dinner at a restaurant in Hilton Head and a couple in their early 30's were sitting next to us with their toddler daughter. The father was teasing the little girl and she was laughing with deep belly laughs.

As we got up to leave I stopped at their table to speak to the couple. It was obvious I was battling cancer because I was as bald as a cue ball and had just had chemo the week before. I told the father, "Redeem the time young folks. Before you know it she will be big and on her own. Don't wish these days away because they will fly by." The father nodded and said, "Thank you, sir." LOL! You know you are old when people call you "sir". I went on to explain that my little girl was now a junior in college and it seemed like just yesterday I was teasing her in restaurants.

While he acknowledged my observation I'm not sure he fully grasped what I was saying. When we're younger and time seems soooooo long we tend to think it's not moving very fast. Redeem the time folks! It flies and it's precious. Future time with family, friends and those we love is not guaranteed. The days are fleeting. The moments are precious and we need to take every one of them captive. Drink it all in. Seize the day. Savor the days God gives you with loved ones. There's no contract that tomorrow will come in the way it did today. Redeem the time!

Last weekend amid a strong reminder in our family that life is precious, we got the rare opportunity to celebrate at a family wedding in Charleston. Our daughter-in-law who is full with child and about to go any day was unable to go with us. We missed her deeply, but as we pigged on baked clams I just smiled and thanked God for the time with our kids. That time will never pass this way again. Live every day like it's your last because in a fallen world it very well could be. The Psalmist understood this: "Man is like a breath; his days are like a fleeting shadow." (Psalm 144:4)

Redeem the time!

P.S. I'm looking forward to redeeming the time with our first grandchild in a few weeks. You can bet I'm going to seize every moment I can as I battle two godly grandmothers and her other grandfather for time to hold her, LOL!

Chris Tomlin & All My Fountains

2012-01-25T22:47:00.000-05:00

Redeem the Time!

2012-01-17T14:46:00.004-05:00

One thing you learn from cancer, or any other major life challenge is that time is precious and fleeting. Life hiccups and headaches have a way of reminding us that we are indeed fragile and despite marketing's best attempts to convince us otherwise, nothing this side of heaven lasts forever.

We Boomer's have always loved our music. And because we stretch across some critical years of music genre, most of us have eclectic listening tastes, which I think is a good thing. Boomers really tend to identify with their music. The soft rock duo of Seals & Crofts was one of several groups in the 70's that cranked out what became known as the "California sound" (e.g., Poco; Bread; America; The Eagles; Michael Martin Murphy, etc.), even though many like Seals & Crofts weren't even from California. The sound emphasized soulful vocal harmonies driven by an acoustic guitar sound, with easy going melodies and relative lyrics.

James Seals and Dash Crofts wrote hits like: Diamond Girl; Summer Breeze; I'll Play For You; and, Get Closer. On their 1971 album, "Diamond Girl," another hit appeared in addition to the title cut called, "We May Never Pass This Way Again." While the lyrics are about a couple, the song sends a strong message about the value of our days, hours and minutes. Here's a snippet:

So, I wanna laugh while the laughin' is easy. I wanna cry if it makes it worthwhile.
We may never pass this way again, that's why I want it with you.
'Cause, you make me feel like I'm more than a friend. Like I'm the journey and you're the journey's end.
We may never pass this way again, that's why I want it with you, baby.

We may never pass this way again. We may never pass this way again.
We may never pass this way again. We may never pass this way again.

(lyrics by James Seals; music by James Seals & Dash Crofts, 1973)

So my friends, redeem the time you have with your spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend, family, friends, small group, pets, church, etc. Make the most of every day and squeeze every ounce you can get out of them and do it with gratitude, because who knows, we may never pass this way again!

The Dreamer

2012-01-15T21:28:00.002-05:00

All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, to make it possible.

T.E. Lawrence, "The Seven Pillars of Wisdom"
British soldier (1888 - 1935)

Control

2012-01-10T09:57:00.002-05:00

The need to control is something that affects businesses, marriage and families, churches, schools, government, hospitals, trustee boards, and just about every institution, or enterprise under the sun. Control, even when rightly motivated can be toxic. Control is ultimately about getting "my" way even when that way is for good.

In business, control is portrayed as micro-management. Someone competent is hired to do a specific job and they are pushed on the back burner because their superior is constantly second-guessing their approach, or injecting herself into the process, which tells the rest of the staff that the person hired for the job isn't really capable of leading.

Control can mask itself as simply "wanting the best" for______________(family, business, person, organization, church, etc.), but when you peel back the layers you discover the "best" is only what that particular person, or group identifies as being best. They set the terms, or write the definitions.

In marriage and family control can have disastrous consequences. A mother, or father can be so consumed with directing the daily activities and future choices of a child (like college choices, which extracurricular activities to pursue, etc.) that they ultimately lose the child, or the child becomes so dependent upon the leadership of the parent that he/she is paralyzed to make decisions and act upon their own behalf when they get on their own.

Trust me, liberty is a good thing. Granting and encouraging freedom and individual responsibility fosters creativity and ingenuity. It also empowers employees, church members, team members, etc., to take ownership, which instills a healthy sense of pride in their work, or effort. Freedom releases the captives of control and says to them, "I trust you," in this regard!

To me, the most frustrating thing about control types is this issue of trust. By constantly second-guessing, interjecting and intervening they communicate that we cannot be trusted with the matter at hand. Or worse, that we are not competent, or capable enough to handle the responsibility, project, or situation.

I am a recovering control freak. I still have a long way to go, but over the years I've become more aware of my need to control and why. As I've aged and surrendered much of my need to control (not all), I've discovered how freeing it is to encourage others, and let things go. Most surprising has been my response to control types. I have a very low tolerance for them. I don't engage, or get mad, but instead, simply let them go and try to disappear from the scene in silent resignation. It's just not that important to me, or worth the fight. At 50 and after cancer, I guess I've realized that some things just aren't as important, or urgent as they once seemed.

I've also learned that you and I will never change a group, or persons need to control others. It's something they have to face on their own. For some it's about perfection, and for others it's the result of their parents and formative family issues. Control is nearly always born from some type of past dysfunction. There is a deep-seeded need to always be right and have all the answers. Some control freaks actually do face it and as they do, they get in touch with their need to control and make meaningful, life-altering changes. They go on to become great leaders, supporters, friends and cheerleaders. People no longer run from them, or sigh and mentally check out of a meeting when they speak or lead it because they realize now they will be heard, or respected. However, many do not and their control issues simply serve to alienate them from the very people they are called to serve, lead, help and love. I wish I had learned this a long time ago, there's so much I should've let go and let God in my life. I'm trying hard to do that now.

Paul's words have become emblazoned on my heart, "Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is liberty (freedom)." Control types take heart, let go and let God!

A Reminder We All Need

2012-01-06T09:51:00.000-05:00

Cancer SUCKS!

2012-01-04T12:39:00.005-05:00

I really hate that last word in the title for this blog. I try not to use it, but I must confess it's the best word in regard to my feelings about cancer. I am apologizing in advance because it will appear again in this blog entry. If it bothers you to the point of not getting the point of this blog entry, just surf onto something else now. Ok, enough of the disclaimer about the use of the word I don't like to use.

Prior to having cancer followed by chemo and radiation, I thought the disease was just sad and disappointing. Keep in mind that prior to my dance with this disease I was around it on a fairly regular basis----occupational hazard and as a result I walked through some tough stuff with families in the cancer battle. However, it didn't really SUCK (last apology) until I got it.

Let me be clear. Just because something sucks, doesn't mean you can't respect it, or appreciate its reach, scope and impact. It doesn't mean you can't learn from it. To the contrary. I've learned a lot about myself, faith, life, medicine, and people because of cancer. It doesn't mean I have to like it. I don't like having a flat tire, but because I've had one, I know exactly how disruptive and inconvenient it can be. I don't like root canals, but having had one I have a deeper appreciation, or shall I say aversion to them.

Although I've completed my chemo and radiation, today one simple, little act of health maintenance reminded me that I am not free of cancer's grip. I had to have my port flushed at the Cancer Center. My port is still in my chest for a year in case the cancer returns. Now there's a thought I try not to entertain too often because that would mean transplant therapy and oober chemo to prepare for it. The port has to be flushed every six weeks to prevent clotting. Ah the lovely smell of saline and heparin being injected into your chest brings back those warm (NOT!) chemo infusion day memories.

So what brought this about? This week in my world: 1) a good friend and fellow pastor, Charlie has been diagnosed with a stage 4, inoperable brain tumor; 2) one of our elders and also a good friend has been diagnosed with slow-growing NHL; 3) the father of an old friend and parishioner has been diagnosed with a malignant lung/cardio tumor and; 4) a close friend is awaiting word on suspicious prostate biopsies. That's all it took! And for anyone who has had, or has cancer, that's ENOUGH. It's one thing when it's my body, but when it's people I love and care about, it is just too much.

We cannot escape cancer in a fallen world. God never intended it to be part of human DNA. His first paradise was created in perfection before humans corrupted it with the selfishness of sin. Thanks be to God that his second and eternal paradise will, according to His promises, be free of cancer, disease, tears, pain, sorrow, etc.

But for now cancer still SUCKS! Being patient, learning hard lessons from, and processing my cancer is one thing. But wanting to "fix" the cancer in these loved ones and others is sometimes overwhelming because I don't want them to have to go through it. And then I realize, I can't "fix" it for them, and if I could it would deprive them of the deep truths, rich experiences and personal growth they can experience on the journey no matter how dark it may appear. It would keep them from knowing God and leaning into His word like never before. It would rob them of the joy that really can be found in suffering. Still, I pray and plead to God for their healing. God absolutely ROCKS, but cancer still SUCKS!

The Appropriate Prayer for a New Year

2012-01-02T19:47:00.004-05:00

There are many prayers worthy for a new year, but for me, Niebuhr's, Serenity Prayer seems so appropriate as we head into the unknown joys and challenges of 2012. The prayer was first attributed to theologian, Reinhold Niebuhr in a 1943 sermon. It became the official prayer of Alcoholics Anonymous. Most of us know the popular, shorter version:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

For lives moving near the speed of light in our daily paces I think the full prayer offered by Niebuhr is the better choice as we begin a new year:

God, give us grace to accept with serenity

the things that cannot be changed,

Courage to change the things

which should be changed,

and the Wisdom to distinguish

the one from the other.

Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.
Amen.

The Christmas Pig

2011-12-29T20:15:00.005-05:00

So our crazy elders and friends came up with this Christmas gift when we had our annual "White Elephant" gift exchange earlier this month. The "Christmas Pig," or "Piggy," as she's called has been making the rounds in Greenville and getting her picture taken everywhere she goes. Then we text the pics to our friends who were in on the original gift exchange.

When you pinch her ear Piggy starts to dance and begins to sing, "Said the night wind to the little lamb, 'Do you see what I see what I see...." The lyrics are followed by several pig snorts that can be confused with other bodily sounds.

Today, Piggy was on the accelerator for my last radiation treatment! Well, she wasn't on it when I was zapped (can't have baked ham yet!), but she hopped on the table afterward, and then as you can see made it to Starbucks for a skinny latte as she is watching her weight. She even made it to the hospital to visit a friend in pre-op, but sorry, no picture!

Okay, so it's weird, I know. But what a gift to have friends who know how to laugh and to finish cancer treatments before the new year! All praise and glory to God. Now we begin the long road of periodic scans, labs and check-ups to keep a vigilant eye on cancer. All glory to God for the past, present and whatever the future holds. Happy New Year!

Reconciliation

2011-12-23T10:54:00.003-05:00

Reconciliation is difficult to practice in a self-absorbed, self-consumed and self-important culture. It is counter-cultural. It means I don’t get to hold on to my anger, or the desire to punish someone for being wronged/hurt. It can also mean that despite my actions I don’t get what I deserve.

It’s difficult to practice because it requires humility, unconditional love, and mercy. When we have been wronged, hurt, betrayed, wounded, or, disappointed it is the last thing on our mind. Heck, when people disagree with us, or hold a minority view with which we disagree, we are often ready to dismiss them simply because they hold a different view. Forget trying to even understand, or reconcile our differences.

At the heart of reconciliation is the idea of restoration. Restoring those who have been the source of pain is not very popular in a society that’s always looking out for #1. We restore, or “make things right”. Whether we are seeking reconciliation, or being asked to reconcile with someone the response isn’t optional for Christ-followers. We are the beneficiaries of heaven’s reconciliatory work through Christ:

10 For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. (Rom. 5:10)

20 and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross.

21 And you, who once were alienated and hostile in mind, doing evil deeds, 22 he has now reconciled in his body of flesh by his death, in order to present you holy and blameless and above reproach before him, (Col. 1:20-21)

When we said, “Yes!” to Jesus we acknowledged His reconciling work between God and us, and we accepted the call to go and do likewise. We who are “in Christ” have no excuse from the personal responsibility to be reconciler’s in the world:

18 All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; 19 that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. 20 Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. 21 For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. (2 Cor. 5:18ff)

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32)

Reconciliation seems to come hardest within marriages, family, work and friends. Maybe it’s because those are among our most intimate relationships and we know so much about each other. However, if you stop and think about it that’s exactly where reconciliation ought to begin. The practice of unconditional love and forgiveness should be present within marriage and family following the pattern of Christ’s reconciling work with the church (Eph. 5) and thereby becoming the foundational model for the rest of our relationships.

Next to Holy Week, Christmas should press all of us who call Christ, "Lord," into loving others unconditionally simply and only because that's what God has done for us through Christ. And to think it all began with the birth of a baby in a borrowed feeding trough. Now that’s preposterous! And so is reconciliation in a 21^st century world. Imagine what our world and relationships would look like if we really practiced the reconciliation we so desperately need and desire from God in Christ with others? It would be a game-changer! Thanks be to God for His gift of reconciliation through the babe of Bethlehem. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

INCARNATION Wordle

2011-12-17T22:49:00.006-05:00

Nativity Reflections & 21st Century Ponderings

2011-12-16T19:41:00.004-05:00

Elizabeth didn't join the naysayer's at the news of Mary's holy conception. She rejoiced in God's work....

Do we?

Mary never waivered....

Do we?

Mary pondered....

Do we?

Mary treasured up the birth of the Gospel "all these things" in her heart....

Do we?

The Shepherds heard God through His messengers and obeyed.....

When we hear from God do we obey?

Magi traveled a great distance to see the babe...

How far are we willing to go for Christ?

Shepherds couldn't help but praise God for all they had seen and heard....

Are we still as passionate about the Gospel story or has it grown old?

Magi shared precious gifts of their era with God's Son....

Do we share precious gifts of our era with Jesus, or leftovers?

No one gave up their room in the Inn for Christ.

Would we?

Joseph was indeed human, but he didn't flinch in his obedience.

Do I second-guess God, or am I as resolved in my obedience?

There certainly is a lot to ponder! Hail the incarnate deity!

No Mr. Holloway You Are Student Athletes!

2011-12-10T19:42:00.004-05:00

College basketball showed it's ugly side Saturday in Cincinnati in the annual grudge match between U.C. and Xavier. Xavier was blowing out the Bearcats and in the final seconds things turned very ugly. Two Xavier players, Dezmine Wells and star player, Tu Holloway shoved Bearcat's player Ge'Lawn Guyn to the floor. That prompted a fight and bench clearing that ended with officials calling the game with time left on the clock. NJ Star-Ledger Sportswriter Brendan Prunty paints the picture:

In the ensuing melee, several players on both sides were seen swinging punches as the benches cleared. Television replays showed Cincinnati center Yancy Gates punch Xavier's Kenny Frease in the face and take a swing at another player who had come off of the Musketeers' bench.
After being struck, Frease staggered to the floor only to come up bleeding heavily from the left side of his face.
"That’s what you’re going to see from Xavier and Cincinnati," Holloway said after the game. "We got disrespected a little bit before the game, guys calling us out. We’re a tougher team. We’re grown men over here. We’ve got a whole bunch of gangsters in the locker room—not thugs, but tough guys on the court. And we went out there and zipped them up at the end of the game."

No Mr. Holloway, you are a student athlete. You are not "gangsters"! Your logic is flawed and your immaturity is glaring. You are not grown men. Grown men do not behave this way. Perhaps you should read up about the greats of your game who paved the way for you and other current players who enjoy the privileges of an NCAA Division 1 basketball scholarship. People like John Wooden, Bill Russell, Dean Smith, Henry Iba, Tony Hinkle, Pete Maravich, Magic Johnson, and Larry Bird. I think you will find that your definition of great players and sportsmanship is totally opposite of what they accomplished in the days before "one and done", and pampered student athletes. Your attitude and words are the exact reason why the word, "thug" (your word not mine) is so appropriate. Thugs throw punches. Thugs talk about being "disrespected", spew verbal trash and think that Tweeting your feelings is more important than shaking the hand of your opponent after a hard fought game, win or lose! Mr. Holloway your brand of basketball is not mine. Let your words be spoken on the court. Learn to treat your opponent with respect even in the face of a loss. And by all means please learn how to win with grace and humility because at the end of the day there is always someone better than you, or me on the court, in the work place, and life.

I Believe I Failed Her

2011-12-08T08:00:00.000-05:00

Most cancer patients and caregivers have a pretty good handle on living one day at a time. However, there are a few who are so focused on the negatives that they can't remain open to hope. I'm not saying they are right or wrong. Everyone battling this, or any other disease has to decide for themselves how they will act, or react. If you are naturally positive, or optimistic you will most likely choose hope, or even joy. If you are a "glass is half empty," or skeptical type you will probably choose to doubt or mute any positives. But the point is that we have a choice in how we are going to act!

Recently I observed a woman waiting on her husband while he was being treated. I saw her 3-4 times as I waited on my own treatment. As patients talked about their brand of cancer, side effects, and treatment plans with hope, or confidence she would always counter that her husband's is not "curable" in a sad, almost morose tone. I can't imagine the load she is carrying but as a fellow cancer patient I can say that her husband needs hope, confidence and joy. I'm not suggesting we deny the truth, but medical professionals, counselors and social workers repeatedly stress the importance of a positive attitude in chronic medical battles.

Several times I attempted to offer suggestions of things that may help them in the battle like available support groups and resources through the American Cancer Society, but each time she countered with an excuse that seemed to say, "I'd rather sulk and be hopeless than find anything positive in all of this." Keep in mind she didn't say that, but it was communicated because one of the patients made a remark to that effect after she left.

Now before you agree, or disagree with me hear me out. I couldn't help but think to myself, "Where is their pastor, small group, or Sunday School class support?" Maybe they've tried and found the same response, or maybe they don't have one! More troubling to me was the self-indictment of my own silence. Why didn't I offer to pray with her before, or after my treatment? Why didn't I pull her aside and give her my phone number and tell her to call me, or my wife to cry, vent, or just share?

This battle is too hard to go it alone. It's too relentless to attempt to think we can fight it without the help of others. Left alone with this disease, I would probably grow mad, depressed, or angry. I understand part of what she's dealing as I watch my spouse play the caregiver role with hope, confidence and joy despite the "down days", or periodic setbacks. Yet, she chooses hope. She chooses hope because she is one of the most prayer-saturated people I know. Her faith in God is greater than her fear of this (can I say it without offense?) damned disease!

Who is the person, couple or family in your world facing a similar battle? How have you responded? They need more than one meal, a cake, funny email, or card. Some of us are blessed to have many people like this in our lives offering words and expressions of hope. But you may be the only one in someone else's life. Let me encourage you to stay the course with them and keep in mind it's a long trip. Even if you are worried that you may be bothering them, continue to keep up the support, conversation and love. Trust me, they will tell you if it's too much.

In my own experience, a good friend and woman in our church sent me a card every single week of my chemo. Nearly all of them were hilarious and they usually arrived right after my chemo that week. I got to where I looked forward to go to the mailbox just to see what she had for that week. She has no idea how much of a difference that one little act of love made in my life, not to mention the many acts of others who were just as faithful in different ways. My point is simple, we all need help on this journey of life. Some will be harder than others to help, but God has called us to walk alongside the broken, wounded, sick, imprisoned and hungry. I feel as though I failed this woman regardless of her perceived melancholy affect. I also felt extremely fortunate and grateful to be a cancer patient who is surrounded by people who love and care for me unconditionally.

1 John 4:7-12 is a great reminder to those of us who walk by faith:

⁷Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. ⁸ Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. ⁹In this the love of God was made manifest among us, thatGod sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. ¹⁰In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. ¹¹Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. ¹² No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.

God help us to walk in love!

God Help Her!

2011-12-01T22:25:00.002-05:00

I don't even know the little girl in her jammies who was awaiting radiation after my treatment today. She was waiting with her grandmother who continually offered positive words of great love.

Her bald chemo head was covered with a beautiful purple sock cap. Her big brown eyes were filled with the fatigue of battling this dreadful disease. Yet, there was hope in her eyes.

I have to be honest. I could barely get in the stall to change into my clothes before shedding a tear. And by the time I got to my car I couldn't stop crying. God help the innocents who battle this dreadful disease. I'm more than halfway through this mortal life, but she has just begun. She couldn't have been more than 6 or 7 years old. And yet, there she sat, awaiting another treatment.

"Lord, today I humbly ask that you heal this little angel from heaven. Touch her body. Bring healing, comfort and strength. I confess that I don't understand why the innocents suffer, but I trust You, and I accept Your sovereign will. Grant her peace and a long life. Give her grandparents and parents energy, strength and grace as they continue to accompany her in this battle! Hold her as Jesus did when he chastised the disciples for keeping the children from coming to Him. Grant favor upon her little heart and life in Jesus name, Amen."

Punitive Silence

2011-12-01T21:44:00.005-05:00

Abraham Lincoln said, "To sin by silence makes cowards of men." Mr. President, I think you spoke truth far beyond your term and years when you made that observation. Think about it. How often do you and I remain silent when we should speak up? Think of the many issues of social injustice, prejudice, and alienation we choose to ignore, turn a blind eye toward, or fail to speak up for those who can't. What about our simple inability to speak up and weigh in on an issue, or cutting remark by someone toward someone else?

When I read this quote by Lincoln, I'm reminded of all the kids in high school who were picked on, or made fun of that I failed to speak up/out on their behalf. Instead of speaking up for the "fat" kid, the "geek", or the "jock", I chose (more often than not) to remain silent and by choosing silence it was assumed I agreed with the sentiment, or sarcasm being leveled. May God forgive my silence!

Families can be punitive with silence as well. Husbands and wives can go for days without speaking and punishing each other over something they can barely remember, or something that doesn't really matter in the big picture of life. Siblings can punish one another with silence as well. We can disagree and take everything so personally that we fail to see the person we really know beyond the slight, or dig that prompted our silence. We punish by cutting off contact and essentially retaliate for the perceived slight or hurt that's been done to us. Churches can do it too. Leaders can punish those who appear to be disengaged, or aloof from the fold for real, or unrealistic reasons. Bosses can punish employees with silence because they disagree with the employees' performance, or opinion on a specific issue, or project.

At 50, I've come to a place in life where I have little use for these mind games. And at the end of the day that's exactly what they are, mind games. Tit for tat. Eye for an eye. It's especially troubling when Christ-followers engage in this behavior. Whatever happened to the Scriptural admonition to "speak the truth in love"? Or better yet to be reconcilers?

Conversation and communication ALWAYS opens the door to clarification and understanding. Assumption is a deadly game. When I choose silence in response to someone with whom I disagree, or perceive to know their motives and essentially judge their heart I am left holding a bag that's way too big. Bottomline: Presumption of another's heart/motives is above my pay grade!

Silence is appropriate when we are angry, or don't know what to say. But at some point we've got to let go, or else we'll nurse a root of bitterness that can often be ruled by perception instead of reality. There's a great parable Jesus tells in Matthew 18 about a man who let an issue take root in his life that birthed a spirit of bitterness and an unwillingness to forgive.

My friend, Craig Loscalzo often says, "You never regret extending grace!" Frankly, I have trouble practicing that as much as I should. If I'm not careful, I can get to a point where I actually enjoy inflicting the punishment of silence. To be honest, I'm too old for it. My life is more than half over and I don't want to go out sulking, withdrawing in aloofness, or hurting others based on perceptions (real or not) that I am unwilling to address.

God help me to be more forthcoming and willing to speak the truth in love! Is there someone you've punished with silence? Give them a call, email, drop them a note and be honest. But be open to hearing their side of the issue. Who know's, we might just be surprised that they weren't even aware of the "perceived" pain they've caused.

¹⁵ Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. (Ephesians 4:15)

Old Friends

2011-11-28T07:42:00.003-05:00

This is my friend Carl. He's the guy on the right! We have been friends since the first week of class during our freshman year at Butler University! Yes, 32+ years!

Carl was in our wedding and I was in his. We have watched our children grow up, walked together through career changes, health concerns as well as challenging and joyful family times. As they say in Jersey, "We know where the bodies are buried." LOL!

Carl surprised me on my 50th birthday. We were at the beach and he flew in for business in Charlotte and then drove to the beach to surprise me! I was blown away and his unexpected presence at the front door that night at 10 p.m. reminded me just how special and valuable the bond can be between old friends. I was humbled by his presence and lengths to which he had gone just to be with me. I will never forget it. I only hope I can be as creative for his 50th next spring. We played golf, ate out and told lots of stories that get bigger and better every time we tell them. It was a very special birthday surrounded by family and my old friend. Thanks be to God for the small gifts of friendship and family that we often take for granted. Every day is a gift and these were indeed some good days.

William Shatner's "Deep Fryer Love"

2011-11-17T08:13:00.001-05:00

Who doesn't love the original Captain Kirk and Priceline's "Negotiator"? Enjoy Shatner on Deep Frying Turkey safety! Happy Thanksgiving!

This blogger does not endorse, approve, or recommend videos You Tube may promote after you view this one!

Turning 50

2011-11-15T16:08:00.003-05:00

Next week, Thanksgiving week, I will turn 50 years old! Hard to believe that my life is more than half over. Yeah, I'm not expecting to live to be 100 and that's okay. At near 50 I've discovered some technical challenges of my age. BTW I like my age. Since "I" am the one turning 50 most of these thoughts begin with that personal pronoun "I" try to avoid using too much. Here's my age-technology challenges:

My children can text faster than I can type on a keyboard or talk.
I am not nearly as multi-task oriented as I think I am. Most 12-year olds have me beat.
Video posts to this blog from You Tube can be risky cause I don't know how to keep it from going to You Tube's home page after the video, which at times has questionable content. Oh yeah, I asked a late 20-something how to change the setting to restrict that content and she had no idea so I don't feel so old. If you do let me know!
Why would anyone think their daily life is worth Tweeting? Really, it's that important?
Why would anyone think someone else's Tweets are worth reading? Lady Gaga has over 15 million Twitter followers per Google. Are you kidding me?
I have never been on Face Book and have no idea how to do it, but I sure got a lot of invites to be somebody's friend. It's nothing personal, but all my invites to FB go into my SPAM folder.
I had a "Linked In" account years ago, before it was cool, now I'm ready to take mine down cause I can't keep up with all the solicitations to be someone's contact, or add them to my list. Plus, just because you know, or are linked to someone on my list doesn't mean I want to be to linked to you. Nothing personal BTW.
I am grateful to God that my kids are adults cause I'm not sure I could handle the technical wave of the next generation and 6-year old's with working cell phones.
I have actually mastered hands-free calling and the BlueTooth system in both of our cars! Yes, it's much safer than holding a cell phone in your hand while driving.
I long for the days before cell phones. Oh how I miss the days when the person being right in front of you was the most important at the moment and not a beep, ringtone, etc., of an email, text, or voice-mail message to interrupt. I'm really debating going back to a beeper!

Okay there's a ton more of these, but my aged MacBook is dying out and I don't have a slick Iphone 4, or Ipad 2 to finish this post. Have a great week. Live strong!

Doing the Right Thing!

2011-11-10T09:44:00.004-05:00

One of the basic underpinnings of human morality is that we all have an obligation to protect those who cannot protect themselves. If I leave a restaurant and see a woman being assaulted in the parking lot, I have a moral duty to intervene on her behalf. If I wait to call the police, or go back inside and call someone else, I have forsaken a basic tenet of human morality and character. And before you say, “ What if they have a gun?” think about the victim. It could be my wife, daughter, sister, etc., and God forbid that would ever happen, but I would hope that someone in that situation would intervene on their behalf. In many states it's called the Good Samaritan law.

I knew of this moral obligation well before I was the age of the graduate assistant who stated in grand jury testimony that he witnessed the alleged crime at Penn State. He is now an assistant coach. I knew this basic principle as a 16-year old kid. If I knew it then, how could a graduate assistant in his early 20’s not know what is the right thing to do in regard to an innocent child and felonious behavior?

The tragedy at Penn State University surrounding the allegations of sexual abuse by a former assistant coach against innocent boys is depraved at best. As a result of one man’s purported repeated sickening actions, a legendary football coach, an athletic director, another administrator and a university president have lost their jobs. And given what little we now know, I believe this was the right call, albeit too late in my personal opinion.

Most disturbing is the grand jury testimony cited by Mike and Mike where Paterno acknowledged, in his words, that “fondling and sexual activity” had taken place per the then graduate assistant who reported it to the head coach. This is in a legal binding document, not hearsay. Hello!!!! What part of that in regard to an adult and a minor is not illegal? What part of that doesn’t make you want to physically grab your friend and former coaching colleague and haul his butt before authorities? What part of that would allow you to let that person return not once, but several times to your practice facility and have further access to young people?

The victims and their families can take small consolation in the fact that someone has finally taken a step to do the right thing regardless of media spin, public opinion and the reputation of a storied athletic program. This goes way beyond trying to protect the reputation of a university or athletic program. It goes to the heart of institutional oversight and organizational culture. It is about character.

Ga. State Head Coach and former ESPN analyst Bill Curry is a friend of Joe Paterno and had these comments on ESPN’s Mike and Mike show this morning:

Our sacred trust as mentors, coaches, and parents is the children and anything that causes such horror where they are concerned has always been more than I can bear. And to think of the betrayal that is involved in this case…I do know and love Joe Paterno, we’re not like brothers, but we are good friends, I know this, whatever he perceived the right thing to do whenever he learned what he knew, he thought it was the right thing….In the coaching profession you approach greatness by always taking responsibility. Joe has taken responsibility for his actions when he said, “I should’ve done more.” That doesn’t make it okay and help the victims but it means he is being a man about it.

Somewhere, somehow, something very basic broke down. This is not purported poor behavior. This is a felony! A felony! You are entitled to your opinion, but I cannot believe that simply informing your superior satisfies your moral duty. The bar is even higher for those of us who profess to be Christ-followers. James offers this counsel to all believers in this regard: Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.

Today, my thoughts and prayers are with the victims and their families. They need to be the priority at every turn in this situation now. Their health, welfare, well-being and future IS the single most important issue. And the current players who have nothing to do with this entire mess are second. They came to PSU to play football.

Let us pray for healing and lest any of us think too highly of ourselves, or too lightly of our own imperfections we must keep in mind that there but for the grace of God go any of us, or our favorite school, churches, coaches, etc. And we must remember, God did not fail in this mess, man did! May God have mercy on us all and may the victims and their families be drenched in His comfort.

Grateful for Our Vets!

2011-11-08T08:58:00.004-05:00

Friday, November 11th is Veteran's Day. Take time to thank a Veteran you know for his/her service. Our World War II vets are vanishing the way of age, but your gratitude toward those who remain will not go unappreciated. Vets of Vietnam, Korea, Desert Storm, Iraq, Afghanistan, The Gulf War, and beyond deserve our heartfelt appreciation for their faithful and selfless service.

"Fair Winds and Following Seas," to all of our Veterans!

What a Gift!

2011-11-05T22:38:00.000-04:00

Organ donor's family meet the man their father saved

"In Sickness and In Health"

2011-10-31T00:00:00.000-04:00

The real heroes of diseases like cancer are not those of us who suffer the disease as much as the caregivers who, like us, never planned, or intended to battle such a fierce foe. Caregiving for cancer and other diseases is like boxing in the dark. You can't really see it, but you are constantly jabbing, poking and striking back through countless acts of unconditional love.

When we stood before our family, friends and God nearly 29 years to exchange our wedding vows Teri and I were clueless about what the future would hold. We were young, in love and ready to take on the world. Everything was in front of us. Children would provide the first wake-up call that being married and raising a family is one of the toughest, but most rewarding challenges humans can undertake. Pastoral ministry wasn't even on our radar. She was interested in HR and I was passionate about a promising broadcast career. Soon enough our first house, careers, a mid-career change, more housing, seminary and another child would present another reality. A few minor health issues in those early years were dismissed by our tender age and the dream of many years together to follow.

We closed our eyes as we celebrated our parent's 25th anniversaries and before we knew it both of them were celebrating their 50th! During that time changing diapers gave way to birthday parties, sleep-over's, school dances, taking kids to practices, a couple of moves, rehearsals, graduations, and eventually college applications. As the circle of life moved forward a couple of serious health issues reminded both of us that we were no longer that invincible couple, like most in their 20's that cannot see beyond the immortality of youth.

In the late 60's and early 70's I remember watching my paternal grandfather bathe, dress and care for "Mama" as diabetes and high blood pressure stole her sight, kidney function and ultimately the breath of this life. BTW they both sing with the saints! On one particular visit to their home as a pre-teen I remember catching a glimpse of my grandfather's fatigue and utter exhaustion from caring for the bride of his childhood. I was too young to recognize it, but upon reflection I have a greater appreciation for that long battle into the night they both waged with faith, hope and courage.

Recently as I watched a couple with a few more gray hairs than us (okay so right now I don't have any hair) interact with one another as she received chemo at the Cancer Center, I couldn't help but reflect on the parade of loved ones I've had the privilege to see in the role of caregiver at that special place. One particular couple have only been married two years! He is too young to be fighting this disease and as I watch her care for him I can't help but think of how strong their marriage is gonna be before they even have children!

Caregivers aren't just couples. I've walked a short while with parents of young children battling terminal diseases and marvel at where they find the strength. A good friend and woman I admire a great deal in Florida put her career on hold to care for her mother as they battle breast cancer together! Her husband has been there every step of the way with his support. I think of my mother-in-law and her sister (a cancer survivor) taking care of their older sister as she battled cancer. Another friend in Kentucky moved her father back and reordered their entire life and business so they could attend to this godly man's physical needs upon the death of her mother. Caregivers come in all shapes, sizes, colors, ages, race, gender, socioeconomic, and cultural backgrounds.

I've watched my Teri keep a stiff upper lip when doctors words weren't hopeful. I've admired the grace with which she extends to me when her plate is absolutely full. She has managed to keep our household running, work outside the home full-time and attend to the needs of our children and extended family without missing a beat. I've seen the determination in her eyes when chemo fatigue has sapped the last ounce of strength within me. Not to mention the depth of mercy and love when the "nasty" side effects of chemo come at the least expected time disrupting routines, schedules, and plans.

She is among the strongest women I know and that is a very, very short list. I've admired her resilience and quiet strength for a long time. She always sees the world or a situation through the eyes of hope and God's promise. Don't let the quiet personality fool you, she's a rock and a tower! But I also know she is tired of boxing shadows in the dark. She is exhausted and like all caregivers finds little time for herself to unplug, rest, renew and unwind. Every morning and every night I watch her disappear with her Bible, prayer journal and a devotion. Without fail it's how she begins and ends her day, every day! She refuels and renews as she leans into the One who holds her and as the old African American pastor used to say, "props her up on the leanin' side."

Lord, my bride has been so faithful in this promise: I, take you to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer, for poor, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

Sweetheart, you continue to teach me profound lessons of life through your attitude, actions and words. May God wash your soul with an abundance of grace for the countless acts of love on my behalf. May I be found as faithful! From an overwhelmed, humbled and grateful heart.

Love, Almont

God bless the Caregiver's everywhere!

Stand Up To Cancer

2011-10-24T17:57:00.000-04:00

Today we're rejoicing over the results of my PET scan. In my oncologist's words it was "normal". We were humbled and blown away with gratitude to God for His wonderful gift of modern medicine and healing. I still have another round of chemo this week followed by a period of recovery before beginning radiation therapy. There's still a long road to travel with years of ongoing scans and labs to monitor the disease, but this is indeed fabulous news! Recurrence of my form of NHL is most critical during the first two years of remission. My doctors will be vigilant as they keep an eye on it. We will not live with that fear, but will forge ahead knowing that no matter what happens God's purposes and glory are far more important than anything I have and could face in the future.

My joy was tempered when I walked through the waiting room only to see the faces of my fellow patients and warriors battling many forms of this ugly disease! Every single day in the United States 1,500 people die from cancer! 1 every minute! This is too many, but this is way too many given the explosion of growth in medical, biological, and technological research and science in the last 50 years. It's time to Stand Up to Cancer! Watch the video and see how you can help cut the red tape and expedite the pursuit of a cure for various forms of cancer.

I thank God for Dr. Edenfield (Cancer Center's of the Carolina's) and Dr's Levitan and Assimos at Wake Forest University Medical School. My life is better for knowing them. May God grant them rest in their hectic schedules and much joy as they treat and heal so many hurting people! The fight is NOT OVER, but our joy has doubled. Romans 12:12

Toast To God's Glory!

2011-10-24T16:54:00.003-04:00

Last chemo treatment was today! Lift your glass and toast the Healer and Great Physician! Now a 3-4 week break before radiation to recoup from the chemo and many of the side effects, but not all. I already had my toast of the java kind, a Grande, 1/2 Caff Americano! And who said "hump day" is a bad day? PGFWABF!

Slip of Paper Left in Cancer Center Waiting Room!

2011-10-20T09:38:00.002-04:00

Randoms: PET Scan & Pastor Appreciation Blog

2011-10-18T18:02:00.005-04:00

PET Day:

Tomorrow is my mid-treatment PET scan. PET stands for positron emission tomography. A PET allows doctors to see how the organs and tissues inside our bodies are working. The PET also helps doctors assess, or analyze how treatment, like chemo, is working.

A PET is a form of nuclear medicine. A nurse or tech injects you with a tracer (radioactive chemical) which travels through the body and is absorbed by the tissues and organs being examined. The PET gives my doctors a 3-dimensional picture and will help my oncologist determine the next step of my treatment plan. Regardless of my PET results one thing is constant and sure: God is glorious and worthy of our praise!

Dr. Michael Catt is pastor of Sherwood Baptist Church, Albany, Georgia. The name of the church may sound familiar because they produced the movies, "Facing the Giants," "Fireproof", "Flywheel", and "Courageous". As a PK and pastor I must admit that his latest blog on Pastor Appreciation is on target and humorous. Most interesting was his admission that the church lost 800 members during his first 10 years! So glad leadership were more focused on the big picture of what was happening in their church! Click the link below to catch his blog:

http://michaelcatt.com/2011/10/pastor-appreciation/

To Be Known, Touched and Loved

2011-10-14T22:25:00.002-04:00

One of the deepest needs humans in pain, trouble, and struggle have is to be known (presence) and to be loved. Another need equally as strong is to be touched. It's hard to say which of these is the most difficult for some people to do toward others. It depends how you are wired as to which of these is most difficult. That said, I would rather be sincerely touched and affirmed by someone who struggles with it than I would by someone who is going through the motions and isn't the least bit sincere about it. You know, people who are more concerned about appearing to "do the right thing" than actually doing the right thing for the right reasons.

Jesus knew the value of touch, presence and love. He practiced it regularly:

Mark 1:40-45 (the leper)
Matthew 9:28 (the blind)
Mark 7:33 (the deaf mute)
Matthew 8:15 (Peter's mother-in-law)
Matthew 17:6-8 (the disciples at the Transfiguration)

Who are you knowing, touching and loving? I believe it is impossible to be sincerely filled and rescued by Jesus Christ and then be unable, or unwilling to know, touch and love those Jesus knew, loved and touched. You will never know the difference it makes to the hurting. You can:

Simply Sit with them
Pray over them (and according to James 5 anoint and pray over them)
Touch them (hug, pat on the hand or back)
Send a card, email, text, or phone call but back it up with your presence (don't wait to see if they feel like it, there's some things you just do because it's the right thing to do!)
Take a meal to them
Eat with them
Tell them you love them in words and deeds

I'm indebted to the many people (both those I know and those far away I've never met) who have reached out and touched me through prayer and deep abiding love. Next week one of the strongest couples of prayer I know will be visiting our family from several states away. I can't wait to be anointed and prayed over by this godly couple and my family in the spirit of James 5.

Touch someone today in Jesus name!

50/50 or Hope?

2011-10-10T08:46:00.006-04:00

I'm not sure there's a "right" way to battle cancer. Everyone with the disease and their caregivers has to learn what works for them in managing, coping and fighting the disease. Our family has learned that we can't do this without faith, a positive attitude and humor. We're not ignoring the disease and we certainly aren't in denial, we've just learned what works for us. We are realistic and we know this is serious, but we aren't pulling a Chicken Little running around crying, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!"

This weekend we saw the movie, "50/50". The comedy is based on the true story about a pair of 20-something's who've known each other since high school and one of them is diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. Let me be clear. The movie is rated "R". The humor and language is at times very crude. If you're uptight about language don't go see it and don't think I'm making an endorsement for such language, or content. However, if you decide to go I'm asking you to dig beyond the language and go to the heart of the story. As the movie progresses a reality unfolds that I'm not sure you can fully appreciate unless you, or someone close to you has been engaged in the cancer fight.

I laughed and cried throughout the film because I have experienced many of the reactions and situations of the guy with cancer in the movie. From the "freeze frame" moment when you are told you have cancer by the doctor; to the outlandish things people who don't know what to say, or do, say to you; to the frustration of having your life consumed by a disease; to poignant moments that reveal the depth of the struggle to be positive and realistic despite the battle with side effects; and the tender moments when you realize that the love of family and friends is the most powerful earthly force in the cancer battle.

While I enjoyed the film there was one thing missing for me in terms of my personal fight with this disease. It was the absence of faith, or even more so, hope in God. The main character was able to pull through by sheer will, love of family, friends and humor. I'm not that strong! I wish I was, but if I'm going to be honest I have to admit that I've only made it this far because of my faith and relationship with Jesus Christ, and that's more a tribute to Him than me. I am deeply flawed and was BEFORE cancer. I would consider myself a fairly strong person, but I am too weak to battle this on my own. I need someone stronger to cling to. I need Jesus. I'm not picking apart the movie. I'm simply saying that I desperately need someone/something bigger than a good attitude, positive thinking, and sense of humor to face this disease. I need someone bigger than cancer itself to help me navigate the choppy emotional and physical waters of cancer. I need Jesus!

I guess 50/50 is decent odds without Christ, but we are ALL terminal. Life with Jesus not only extends the survival rate beyond death, but it provides hope in the middle of today's battle whether it's cancer, divorce, job loss, or something else. It's a hope rooted in unconditional love that extends beyond the grave:

35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? 36 As it is written,

“For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”

37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:35-39)

Liv's Laugh and Love

2011-10-04T21:42:00.000-04:00

A 9-year old brings purpose and peace to the life of a star college athlete. And he brings her joy. Watch Justin and Olivia's amazing story!

The ACS Movement for More Birthdays

2011-09-29T13:21:00.002-04:00

The "More Birthday's" movement by the American Cancer Society has picked up video endorsements from Lady Antebellum, Maroon 5, Justin Bieber, Keith Urban, Celine Dion and many more recording artists. I can't watch these commercials without crying. While Lady Antebellum & Keith Urban are more my style, Ricky Martin's version puts it best--"here's to a world with less cancer and more birthdays!"

The Divine Healer

2011-09-28T21:32:00.004-04:00

A friend is working at historic John Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore, Maryland. The other day she walked by the 117-year old, "Divine Healer" (aka: Christus Consolator) statue that adorns the lobby of the domed, Billings Administration Building. She said the inscription made her think of me and my current battle with NHL. She's an RN so mercy, compassion, care and healing are in her blood.

Jesus words of comfort in Matthew 11 are at the base of the statue:

"COME unto ME All Ye That Are Weary And Heavy Laden And I Will Give You REST"

Oh how I need that in my life and not just during a health battle. I run to Him when I'm tired, hurting, broken, wounded, frustrated, seeking forgiveness, and desiring peace. These words remind all of us who follow Christ that THE Healer stands ready to hold, comfort, heal and help all of those who are weighed down by trouble, pain, sickness, or loss. This brings to mind a word of fulfilled prophecy about Christ found in Isaiah 53:

But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
and by his wounds we are healed. {emphasis mine}

Everyone needs the Healer!

Click here (John Hopkins Hospital) for the full scoop on the statue from the John Hopkins' website.

Hold Me Jesus

2011-09-24T10:12:00.009-04:00

Soul poet, Rich Mullins was only 41-years old when he went home to be with Jesus in 1997. It's hard to believe he's been gone that long. The many songs he left us are full of stirring lyrics and rich melodies. Succeeding generations have rediscovered the gifts he left us through recordings of present-day artists like Third Day, Todd Agnew, Rebecca St. James, Big Daddy Weave, Michael W. Smith and many others. In times of great trouble, challenge, pain and fear I run to the lyric rich hymns of my childhood and the music of artists like Rich Mullins. Lately, "Hold Me Jesus" has been running through my heart and head. Whether you're facing financial struggles, trouble in your marriage, aging parents, health battles, parenting issues, or whatever life has brought, I hope Rich's words wash over your soul as they have mine through the years.

Hold Me Jesus by Rich Mullins

Well, sometimes my life
Just don't make sense at all
When the mountains look so big
And my faith just seems so small

CHORUS:
So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It's so hot inside my soul
I swear there must be blisters on my heart

CHORUS

Surrender don't come natural to me
I'd rather fight You for something
I don't really want
Than to take what You give that I need
And I've beat my head against so many walls
Now I'm falling down, I'm falling on my knees

And this Salvation Army band
Is playing this hymn
And Your grace rings out so deep
It makes my resistance seem so thin

CHORUS

You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

The Chemo Fog/Effect

2011-09-20T13:05:00.007-04:00

For most cancer patients there are days when you don't feel exactly "right" and you know it's the accumulative effects of chemo, but you're hard-pressed to point to one specific side effect. I don't know if there is a name for it, but I've decided to call it the "Chemo Effect," or "Chemo Fog". It's more than a cold, more than the flu, totally unpredictable and altogether annoying.

You can wake up without nausea, leg cramps, mouth sores, tingling/numb hands and toes thinking you've got the day by the horns and suddenly realize you are having trouble finding specific words to complete a sentence. And you know the word, but you just can't form it in your brain. It's called Chemo Brain. Or, you battle mouth sores before bed and wake the next morning feeling pretty good only to discover that after a shower and getting dressed you are completely wiped out and you have killer reflux that won't go away despite the best reflux meds! You realize the toxic goo causing the mouth sores is now causing them in your gut! My point is that just when you think you've got a handle on your body something else happens.

Work can be a real challenge because at times you have trouble concentrating and the latest side effects are not very helpful in that department either. Twice this week I've had the best intentions to stay with it in my office, but have had to leave. Several times I've had these (don't laugh I'm not any more nuts than I was before chemo!) out of body experiences-----yes, something just doesn't feel quite right and you know you are not at 100%. It's like there's a fog over your body, but you can't explain it. I'm not talking about being unable to drive, or walk. And no, I don't see visions, or speak Yugoslavian, or suddenly have the ability to sing opera, but something just isn't quite right and no matter how hard you try you can't seem to make it better. It's okay because tomorrow there will be a different side effect as we all hang on to that week right before a chemo cycle when we are finally feeling a little normal, our counts are back up and we're about to go down that awful treatment road one more time!

Clinging to Jesus becomes even more important, vital and necessary with each cycle of treatment.

My People

2011-09-15T13:03:00.005-04:00

Sitting in the infusion lab and getting the latest installation of chemo I look around and realize, "I fit here with these people." At the Cancer Center bald is beautiful and we stare at the people with hair (not really) because there are more of us without hair, lol.

Time in the chair is passed with loved ones and close friends stopping by to sit awhile, crossword puzzles, catching up on email, some watch DVD's, a lot of reading is done and some serious Ipod listening happens. Laughter is the ultimate medicine as you discuss the humorous side of cancer, chemo and it's side effects with fellow patients.

As the 6-hour drip party passes the second hour, the laughter between a group of us is abruptly halted by a harsh reminder that while this disease and its treatment can't steal love and joy, it does hammer you physically. A woman (not receiving treatment that day) is escorted into the lab by one of the caring front desk assistants as the woman is vomiting into her hands and nurses race to get a tray for her. I watch as my nurse leaps from doing something else and lovingly, tenderly puts her arm around the patient and walks her into a private area with a hospital bed and draws the curtain. After a couple of hours, some fluids and observation her husband is able to take her out with a wheelchair. She manages a faint smile as we cheer her on in total empathy.

I've learned that humor/laughter is an absolute must for those battling cancer and their family. A few, and I mean very few patients I've met have no sense of humor, or the ability to laugh in the middle of all of this. But, everyone has to process it in their own way and there's no one right way to cope. However, the sober reminder that this is a battle with serious side effects and symptoms is always lurking, like the woman escorted into the lab vomiting.

I guarantee she lost NO dignity among us as tough as vomiting in public can be. She is brave to us another fighter in the battle. She was a trooper and all of us have been there. She is another anonymous hero to me. I look around at these beautiful bald, wig and ballcap-covered heads and smile. I say silently to God, "Lord, these are my people! Heal, protect, comfort and encourage them with your grace. And for those battling this without Your presence help me to reveal You to them in gentle love when the opportunity arises. Amen."

Every life is terminal. And we are ALL, regardless of our health one day closer to seeing Jesus!

LIVESTRONG Manifesto

2011-09-12T21:24:00.000-04:00

Remember The Past With An Eye on the Future

2011-09-08T11:01:00.005-04:00

Do you remember this picture of the NYC firefighters raising the American flag at ground zero after 911? Do you remember the countless numbers of people from across the country (First Responders, Disaster Relief volunteers and more) who raced to NYC to pitch in and help with the rescue and clean up? What about the public memorial and prayer services across the country? Ribbons and flags on our cars? A deep sense of national pride, unity and camaraderie permeated our country.

The act of terror on American soil touched every American in some way. One of my favorite images following that dark day of terror was September 15th (only 4 days after the tragedy) when members of Congress on both sides of the aisles joined together and sang God Bless America on the steps of the Capitol. I remember thinking at that time, "perhaps our unity and purpose really is greater than any difference we have." From tornadoes, to hurricanes, war, heinous community crimes, or specific social injustices, Americans have an incredible ability to pull together and help each other in the face of such tragedies. I'm still naive enough to believe that the American people are the greatest resource of our country!

Today, our country seems so divided over politics and the economy. The vitriol and finger-pointing coming from Washington to the campaign trail is sad in light of how we responded as a united people on 911 and to support the Gulf region after Katrina, our military in Iraq and Afghanistan and more recently, the devastating 2011 southern tornadoes.

Some may say it takes a tragedy to bring Americans together, but I don't buy it. While tragedy may ratchet up our awareness/urgency, I think it reminds us how precious life is and how blessed we are as a people and I believe our unity runs deeper than our political party affiliation. Sure we have honest differences and ideas about the best way for our country to proceed for the future, but we are in this together!

I think the church forgets this as well. Sometimes we get set on our particular concern/agenda, or area of ministry at the exclusion of the big picture and God's glory. The cause of Christ is ill-served by division and disunity. Worship ceases where there is division (I did not say differences).

When we remember 911 we honor the thousands of victims and heroes of that dark day. We remember that even the worst imaginable attack on a sovereign nation can't withstand a nation at prayer and countless acts of love, charity, unity, hard work and commitment.

This weekend let's remember 911, but let's do it with an eye on the future and with a unity of purpose that is so powerful it stifles any attempts to bring harm to innocent people both at home and abroad! A united nation is a formidable opponent to evil and terror because it rises out of the ashes of destruction.

Oh yeah, for those who are Christ-followers remember that Jesus said we are to be known by our love for one another, even when we disagree. I also believe that a united church (all Christ-followers) is indeed the most formidable opponent to the evil one and terror because at the end of the day love for one another lives beyond destruction.

Side Effects I'd Like to Have

2011-09-07T10:00:00.005-04:00

Anyone familiar with chemo knows there are side effects that accompany the toxic brew used to kill cancer cells and unfortunately good cells too.

I've had the privilege of experiencing the following common side effects, but I'm grateful they haven't been simultaneous, or continuous.

Here are some of the common side effects for my particular treatment, R-CHOP:

Numbness/tingling/loss of feeling in hands and toes
Hair loss
Dry-mouth, Mouth and throat sores
Nausea
Cold, Sinus or Flu-like symptoms
Constipation
Risk for infection (neutropenia) due to low cell/blood counts
Chemo brain (memory loss, focus issues, trouble finding the right word, etc.
Bone pain (for those on Neulasta to boost blood cell production)
Nosebleeds

It takes awhile for some of these to start so you can't get cocky and think you've dodged the bullet because you don't have one of them the week of treatment. Mine started 7-10 days after chemo and they continue, but none are severe. Then you have to begin the battle to treat the side effects! Welcome to the vicious cycle of chemo.

It occurred to me that some of us would like some alternative side effects instead of the common ones previously listed. So here's some side effects I'm hoping to develop in no particular order:

Six-pack abs
A head of thick and full black hair
The ability to dunk a basketball
Genius IQ
Fluent in a second language without studying
Plumbing and HVAC skills
7 strokes off my golf game

You gotta laugh! I thank God for my medical team and their vigilance in dealing with the ongoing issues related to chemo. My issues are nothing compared to some of my sisters and brothers battling for their lives with chemo and transplants. They are the real heroes.

Happy Birthday Dad

2011-09-01T13:58:00.002-04:00

Labor Day weekend we celebrate my Dad's 80th birthday! As a PK my Dad has served in many capacities in my life. Dad is, or has been my: buddy, mentor, teacher, coach, pastor, friend, father and listener. He has loved my Teri like his own daughter and both of our children have been drenched in "Gran Dad'" love their entire life.

I could fill this blog with attributes and stories about my Dad and his character, integrity, humility, and love.

As I look back on my 49 years of Dad's 80, I smile. Yes, a smile is what comes to mind first and foremost. Dad has always had an extraordinary sense of humor, even in the middle of pain. His trademark smile is distinct. His eyes twinkle when he's about to tell a joke and you just know he is getting tickled. He sees humor everywhere and he isn't afraid to laugh at himself.

This weekend we will spend time as a family remembering and recalling special times as a family and I guarantee we will laugh often. As we gather together this weekend we will embrace the wisdom writer's truth: "A cheerful heart is good medicine."
Happy birthday Dad!

You Oughta Try....

2011-08-31T10:02:00.006-04:00

So here's just one of many conversations well-meaning, but uninformed people often make when they are trying to reach out, or connect to someone with cancer and they really don't know what else to say. This one happened today with someone I barely know, but they know I have NHL:

"So, have you ever heard of colloidal silver? My aunt takes it and it has removed all her age spots! You should look into it. It might be worth checking out."

It's as if to say without actually saying, "Hey, maybe you should try this junk on your cancer." Others are far more blatant in promoting their "all natural" suggestion as a cancer treatment, or cure. Even more absurd is the fact that most of the people who pass this Internet medicinal lore along don't partake of the very thing they are recommending you put in your body, LOL!

Never mind the total lack of credible medical research on the natural cure being promoted, or the fact that if one of them could actually cure cancer big Pharma, or a major cancer research facility would have already snagged it up. It's like this elusive cure has been hiding in the shadows and no one knows about it except for a faithful remnant of people who recommend it to their cancer-stricken friends and family. Think about it. Seriously, really, think about it!

So to date here are the cures or "cancer reducing" diets or supplements people have passed on to me of which several also happen to be on the urban myth fact checking site, www.snopes.com

Coffee
Lemons
Colloidal Silver
Wheatgrass
Lemongrass
Asparagus
Vinegar

I know most of these come our way via well-meaning folks, but before you stop and send the latest "cure" to someone via email think about it. How would you feel if you got more than one of these a day when your life is already in the hands of some of the areas most competent minds regarding the research and treatment of cancer? That's not to say that certain vegetables, juices and vitamins aren't beneficial, especially from the damaging effects of chemo, like free radicals that can roam the body after treatment, or those that help boost an already frail immune system. I promise you that someone with cancer would rather just have you sit with them, listen, or hold them in your prayers before someone sends them another miracle diet, or cure.

So here's a suggestion from someone who has cancer. Before you send it, or recommend it to someone else you try the suggested diet subsidy, "natural/organic" treatment, or cure yourself for 6 months followed by a comprehensive medical exam and labs to determine its legitimacy.

If you have happened to pass one of these along to me thanks for your intent to help. Don't take this personally, but try to put yourself in our shoes. I'm just asking you to exercise the same kind of wisdom and restraint ALL of us should before passing anything on to someone else whether it's by text, Internet, Twitter, Facebook, etc. Do your homework because you can rest assured that those of us who have cancer are learning and reading everything we can about our particular brand of cancer. My oncologist at Wake Cancer Center said I needed to be prepared for this and that people would come out of the woodwork offering me the most outlandish cures, or diets for cancer. I laughed when she said it and had no idea the depth of truth she was speaking. Man, she absolutely nailed it! Oh yeah, she and my Greenville oncologist happen to have advanced degrees and experience in the treatment, cure and management of cancer.

Okay, so I saved the best for last. Someone actually emailed me a diet that "prevents" cancer once they knew I was diagnosed with cancer, LOL! So if you have cancer already how does a preventative cancer diet work? You just gotta laugh, it is indeed the best medicine.

Sea Sickness Feeling

2011-08-29T09:46:00.004-04:00

My new friend is hot, ginger tea. While my chemo comes with great anti- nausea meds it still doesn't totally cover the sea sickness feeling. I'm a coffeeholic, but I've cut way back on my java since chemo and have substituted more hot teas (ginger and green). I'm trying my best to avoid things that I really enjoy while on chemo so I don't risk creating a "bad memory" with the nausea.

Yesterday I was overcome with the love of our church family as I returned for the first time since my surgery in late July and my lymphoma diagnosis. I can't express the depth of our gratitude for the love these saints and sinners have lavished on us. Meals, cards, notes, texts, phone calls, driving me to chemo and sitting with me during the drip, and much more have been the tangible hands and feet of Jesus! I remain, overwhelmed, grateful, humble and broken. Labs on Thursday should give us a good idea where my blood counts are after last week's first round.

Bald Guy Update

2011-08-25T18:07:00.005-04:00

There's something quite funny about a nurse covered in a gown, gloves and mask pulling chemicals out of a bag marked, "biohazard" to put in your IV! It's as if to say "we can't touch this stuff but we are going to inject you with it." Ha!

Managed the Rituxan without having to stop the infusion yesterday (apparently it's a big deal that I didn't have to stop), but I made up for it once home as I had the the typical flu-like symptoms (chills, fever, headache). Felt okay this morning so we were all systems go for the C-H-O-P part of the R-CHOP regimen. It took about 4 hours. In September for my second cycle I will get it all in one day, whoopee. Tomorrow I go for a blood cell boosting shot that actually hurts the bones because it is a inflammatory that helps the bones produce bone marrow and ultimately blood. This is important because the higher the cell count the better able you are to fight off, or battle potential infections. Hopefully the alopecia (hair loss) will kick in soon because I have already had to shave my head twice since the initial shaving! Funny, when I had thinning hair I couldn't grow hair and now that I'm trying to keep it off my head I can't, lol.

Big thanks to my nurse, Lynn! She's from Western MA and has a bulldog I really want to steal. Also thanks to my friends Gladys, and Dan J., who visited me yesterday at the Cancer Center. And Dan C., who not only dropped me off this morning, but stayed for about an hour!

I thought the 100 mg. of prednesone (5 days in a row following treatment days) would have me bouncing off the walls, but so far it's not keeping me awake! Maybe the phenegran is helping with that, ha. I met a couple who are in their second battle with cancer. She beat lymphoma 6 years ago, but was diagnosed a few months ago with breast cancer! Yes, she is one tough cookie and new hero of mine. Today she was wearing what her husband called her "bad girl" wig. I couldn't even tell she had a wig on it looked so good. What a precious couple with a great sense of humor!

CANCER TIP OF THE DAY: Hard candy and mouth lozenges are your friend! Tip #2: If you know someone with cancer don't be afraid and don't avoid them because you don't know what to say. That will backfire and the person with the disease will be wondering what they've done to you to deserve the silence. Even if you don't know what to say just do what my friend Sam says: "Just be there, you don't have to say anything." He's right!

Okay so we'll see how the days that follow go. You hang in there and remember cancer can't steal love, or joy.

Romans 12:12

Let the Chemo Begin!

2011-08-23T20:59:00.003-04:00

Wednesday we start the "R" of the R-CHOP chemo regimen. Rituxan can be pretty tough your first time, hence the 1 drug Wednesday. Thursday we get the rest, but only for this first cycle. Future cycles will mean all the chemicals in one day.

The head is shaved and the waiver or chemo risks acknowledgment has been signed. I'm aware that it may sound cheesy to some, but nonetheless, "May God be glorified through chemo!"

Let's have no cookie tossing! Romans 12:12!

Sing over Your Children by Matt Maher (with lyrics)

2011-08-22T20:20:00.000-04:00

Zephaniah 3:17
7 The Lord your God is in your midst,
a mighty one who will save;
he will rejoice over you with gladness;
he will quiet you by his love;
he will exult over you with loud singing.

Celebrating with Joy

2011-08-19T21:47:00.003-04:00

Congratulations to our son Casey, and Jayma who will exchange their wedding vows on Sunday! Our joy has doubled since Jayma came into our family and we are grateful to God for her! May God bless you both and may you find joy together in Christ regardless of your life circumstances. We love you!

As our families join together in support of Casey and Jayma I offer this Irish Marriage blessing:

May God be with you and bless you.
May you see your children's children.
May you be poor in misfortunes
and rich in blessings.
May you know nothing but happiness
from this day forward.

The Theology of Blessing

2011-08-17T13:58:00.001-04:00

Laura Story's "Blessings" has really spoken to me in these days of cancer staging and prep for my upcoming chemo. Here we find the theology of suffering is embraced or at least acknowledged within God's sovereign purposes and favor that is not dependent upon human emotions and feelings! Drink in these lyrics and let God wash across your parched or tired soul. Romans 8:35-39

Staging NHL

2011-08-13T23:02:00.004-04:00

Monday is "staging" day at Wake Forest Cancer Center. Seems like an odd term at first, but it really makes sense. The doctors have to perform several procedures to determine the stage of my cancer. So very early Monday morning I will head to WFUBMC-North Carolina Baptist Hospital and undergo the following:

PET Scan
Echo cardiogram
Port-o-cath placement
Bone Marrow Biopsy (both sides)

All of this helps the oncologist/hematologist identify the exact type of lymphoma, how far it has spread (lymphatic system, other organs, bone marrow, etc.) and the stage so they can personalize the treatment plan. This will help them determine the right chemo and the number of cycles I will have to receive.

So we would really appreciate any and all prayers for Marathon Monday. As they say backstage: "Break a leg!" For the non-thespians that's a good thing!

We continue to cling to Jesus through Scripture, songs, art, friends, etc. Here's a favorite from the late soul poet, Rich Mullins:

Well, sometimes my life
Just don't make sense at all
When the mountains look so big
And my faith just seems so small

CHORUS:
So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It's so hot inside my soul
I swear there must be blisters on my heart

CHORUS

And this Salvation Army band
Is playing this hymn
And Your grace rings out so deep
It makes my resistance seem so thin

CHORUS

You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

Now cancer doesn't seem so big does it!

Word Power

2011-08-08T19:23:00.005-04:00

Look closely at the picture to your left. You will never see this green "Partner" apron at your local Starbucks. There's not another one like it in the world. Several of the managers, assistant's and partners at the Greenville area Starbucks' signed it with well wishes for my upcoming cancer treatment.

While I frequent one particular Starbucks, over the years I have enjoyed coffee and conversation at every store in our city based on my travel route, or schedule on a particular day. A big thank you to Chris, the DM who got this together for me! I wouldn't take anything for this apron but not because of its corporate logo. You see I cherish the prayers, well wishes and words of support and their accompanying signatures even more.

Words are powerful. They can injure, tear down, build up, encourage, help, heal or hurt. We use thousands of words in the course of a day and most of the time we forget a lot of what we say, or communicate to others. However, when you are on the receiving end of some complimentary, well-wishing, or encouraging words they tend to stick with you. Someone takes the time to touch your soul whether they realize it or not, we do. Since I entered my first Starbucks 20+ years ago in Chicago, I can never remember a time when I wasn't greeted with a smile, or a word of welcome! And trust me that's a lot of Starbucks from San Diego to Phoenix;Louisville; Cincinatti; Hilton Head; Jacksonville;Orlando; Indy; Gaffney; the Bahamas (for real!); London, Kentucky and many more. Oh sure I've come across some who've had a tough day, but somehow they manage to rise above it and offer some kind of greeting. Someone has set the tone for this intentional corporate culture and the church needs to follow.

Our words take on meaning to others, which is why I shudder when I think of the thousands of words I've carelessly spoken over the years. Words of judgment, criticism or cynicism that I regret. But positive words are something we never regret. We need to be more intentional about the words we use with others. Speaking joy-filled, empowering, or encouraging words to one another is something we need to cultivate and practice. Anyone can speak words of anger, destruction, and judgment. They require little thought and usually come at an impulse. However, we have to make a conscious effort to speak positively toward others. In other words (no pun intended) we have to think intentionally about speaking positively to others. Given the level of anger, frustration, depression and skepticism in our culture I think we are desperate for the words like the ones on my Starbucks apron!

Who do you need to encourage? Who can you lift up, lighten their load and heal with words of comfort? How many times a day do our words cut, belittle, or put others down? We never fully know what people are facing or dealing with when we go about our day. Some are carrying very heavy loads like divorce, aging parents, finances, a strained relationship, job conflict/stress, health challenges, or an angry neighbor. What if we made a conscious effort to offer strong, helpful words even when we are tempted to do otherwise? It just might change our world, or at least our corner. I am going to work harder at encouraging others and a local cancer center is a great place to start!

James reminded us the power of words in James 3:5-10 {emphasis added}:
5 So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! 6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. 7 For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, 8 but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 9 With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. 10 From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. 11 Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? 12 Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water.

Thank you to the Partners that staff Greenville's Starbucks! You put up with a challenging public as you provide the fuel for our addiction. A special thanks to Jenn and the Augusta Street store crew, you make me laugh and always lighten my load. And that is quite a gift.

Life On Hold Part 2!

2011-08-05T20:15:00.003-04:00

We head to the Comprehensive Cancer Center of Wake Forest University Medical School on Tuesday to see the oncologist/hematologist I saw in 2009. The pathology has confirmed non-Hodgkins, Large B-cell Lymphoma. Praising God that we finally know what we are facing. Ready to get started on what is bound to be a long journey, but remember, God is a marathoner not a sprinter!

Life on Hold

2011-07-31T22:19:00.003-04:00

Life on hold is weird. Seems like we've been living that way on and off the last few years. Once again we are in a holding pattern as we await pathology results of my surgery biopsy last Friday. It's in a real tough location and wrapped in some blood vessels, which is why my surgeon was unable to remove it.

We should hear next week. If this one is inconclusive my doctors at Wake will send the pathology onto the Armed Forces Institute of Pathology. I didn't even know such a place existed. Early indications seem to favor some form of cancer drug, or autoimmune suppressant. We continue to leave it in God's hands as I recover from the surgery. Many thanks to God for guiding my medical team and the surgery. Thanks for the many prayers.

We Need a Laugh!

2011-07-27T12:14:00.000-04:00

Congress and the White House can't get together on the budget/debt ceiling and I'm having surgery Friday at Wake Forest Baptist Hospital to remove a pelvic mass/tumor. In light of these two unresolved matters I could play worry wart and drive myself crazy, or we can have some fun. I say we all enjoy a laugh with the E-Trade baby! Sometimes you just gotta laugh when things are beyond your control. Matthew 6:25ff!!!!

Gifts from God

2011-07-25T10:14:00.004-04:00

About 5 years ago I met a guy who was soliciting landscaping work in my neighborhood. From the moment I read his promo piece I felt God nudging me to contact him. You see, we get a couple of these a week in the mailbox, or on our door. They always end up in the trash, but this one was different. It didn't make sense to contact him because we didn't need any lawn or landscape help at the time. But God had different plans----He usually does!

Fast forward to 2011: That guy was our Associate Pastor, Dan Carroll. My nudge from God led to a meeting over coffee, several conversations and ultimately God calling the Carroll family to serve alongside us at Mosaic. Dan, Kelly and Jake are more than ministry partners and more than good friends. They are family! One of the greatest privileges and benefits of pastoral ministry is the amazing people God puts in our life to serve alongside for a season. Over the years I have been incredibly blessed to serve alongside some of the most creative, gifted, passionate, committed and authentic people in pastoral ministry. My life and faith is better because of them. Dan Carroll is one of those people!

He has made my faith stronger, challenged me to grow as a person and minister, and been a trusted friend who loves me unconditionally. The greatest compliment I can pay to Dan is that he has been the hands and feet of Jesus in my life and countless others while serving at Mosaic. I only hope I have been half as much to him.

In mid-September, Dan, Kelly and Jake will begin a new season of ministry at Renewal Church in Greenville. Dan will be leading their college student ministry. While it's sad to see them leave Mosaic, it's obvious God has been working in this for a long time. We will miss them terribly, but we know this is what God wants and to do anything less than to support them would be to stand in God's way. Dan, Kelly and Jake, you have our love, prayers and support as you pursue God's plan and purpose for your lives. By the way, keep your ears and eyes open for God. Just like that day with Dan, God nudged me to contact him. Pay attention, God's nudge's may not make sense at the moment, but He knows best. I'm glad I listened to Him regarding Dan Carroll! Who, or what is God nudging you to act? On behalf of the Carter's, I offer this traditional Irish blessing for the Carroll's with much love:

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind always be at your back.
and rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

Terror or Love?

2011-07-22T12:23:00.006-04:00

The Friday afternoon bombing of a downtown government building in Oslo, Norway is a sobering and tragic reminder that terrorism is still a global reality. Terrorism does not respect sovereign countries, religion, people groups, and free governments.

Pictures and video from the city of Oslo bring to mind past acts of cowardice from NYC, Washington D.C., to Madrid and Oklahoma City.

The suspects and convicted in these bombings may represent different groups, or causes (if you can call such depravity a cause), but at the end of the day they are simply cowardly thugs without any honor, respect, reason and decency. No perceived or real persecution justifies such acts of horror and desperation. These perpetrators are savages who have chosen the violent path of the madmen history has regarded as evil. Our thoughts and prayers are with the people of Oslo and all of Norway!

For Christ-followers we are once again reminded of the Apostle Paul's warning to Timothy about the godlessness of earth's last days:

¹But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. ²For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, ³ heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, ⁴treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, ⁵having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people. ⁶For among them are those who creep into households and capture weak women, burdened with sins and led astray by various passions, ⁷always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth.

In the mid 60's Jackie DeShannon belted out Hal David's lyrics to Burt Bacharach's tune, What the World Needs Now:

What the world needs now is love, sweet love
It's the only thing that there's just too little of
What the world needs now is love, sweet love,
No not just for some but for everyone.

Love builds up, terror destructs. Love empowers, terror tears down.
Love requires patience and the suspension of self-centeredness. Terror is all about self.
Love is universal in appeal. Terror is disgusting in any form.
Love is about trust. Terror is about deceit.
Love is beautiful. Terror is ugly.
Love is lasting. Terror is temporary even in the aftermath of despicable events.
Love respects. Terror has no respect.
To love another requires that we sincerely love ourselves. Terror is the epitome of self-hatred.

I choose love. It's infinitely harder especially among those with whom we disagree. You can't deny that tyranny and terror have made their impact on the world, but at the end of the day love has and always will be a more powerful force.

My 16-year Old Hero

2011-07-21T22:31:00.002-04:00

16-year old Adam Hubbs is a new hero of mine. At 13, Adam was diagnosed with a rare, genetic microbacteria infection that caused his body to stop making white blood cells to fight off infections. After chemo and a bone marrow transplant and a stroke, Adam still fights: "You just never give up, no matter how hard it is," he said. "Even on your bad days, you fight through it."

Earlier this month Adam got the surprise of his life, a day with Denver Broncos QB Tim Tebow. Take 7 minutes and watch the following ESPN video and be reminded that no matter what you are facing today, someone is facing something much worse with courage and hope like Adam.

http://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=espn:6784756

"Feed My Sheep!"

2011-07-20T11:40:00.006-04:00

The U.N has formally declared Somalia to be in a famine largely due to severe drought affecting the Horn of Africa (Somalia, Kenya and Ethiopia). Thousands of refugees flee the war torn country every day. Armed conflict has seriously affected food supplies and international relief efforts. By the way these two father's are carrying their dying children to a hospital in hopes of saving their lives.

The UN reports that in southern Somalia, 310,000+ people experiencing severe malnutrition! According to the International Red Cross, 1 in 10 children in parts of Somalia are at risk of starving to death!

In one British article Somalian humanitarian coordinator, Mark Bowden warned: "If we don't act now, famine will spread to all eight regions of southern Somalia within two months, due to poor harvests and infectious disease outbreaks......We still do not have all the resources for food, clean water, shelter and health services to save the lives of hundreds of thousands of Somalis in desperate need."

British reporter Mark Tran reports:

The Food Security and Nutrition Analysis Unit (FSNAU) said the crisis represented the most serious food insecurity situation in the world today, in terms of scale and severity.
"Current humanitarian response is inadequate to meet emergency needs," it said. "Assuming current levels of response, evidence suggests that famine across all regions of the south will occur in the coming one to two months. A massive multisectoral response is critical to prevent additional deaths and total livelihood/social collapse and, most immediately, interventions to improve food access and to address health/nutrition issues are needed."
The UN says nearly half of the population in Somalia is facing a humanitarian crisis and in urgent need of aid. The number of people in crisis has increased by more than 1 million in the last six months. More than 166,000 Somalis have fled the country since the start of the year, with more than 100,000 of those leaving since May.

It just hit me that I complained to my wife last night about the upcoming fasting and surgery prep I will soon face before my robotic surgery. How lame, how sad, how downright selfish! My first prep day of clear liquids will find my belly fuller than most Somalis. "God forgive my inexcusable selfishness in light of the devastation in Africa."

I'll bet most domestic animals in the U.S. have better food and water conditions than Somalia's children. While there are many worthy Christian relief agencies around the world, no one is equipped, resourced and established to save and feed children on a global scale like UNICEF. If you want to help feed/save a starving child and get the resources on site asap just click here UNICEF.

Some sobering words from Jesus to every Christ follower in light of this crisis:

37 Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? 38 And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? 39 And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ 40 And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’ (Matthew 25:37-40 ESV)

Cracked Pots With Clay Feet

2011-07-16T17:20:00.005-04:00

Recent events involving some leading American pastors and ministers (not immoral events by the way!) have reminded me that at the end of the day we ALL have clay feet! And we are simply clay needing to be shaped and molded like Israel by THE Potter:

8 But now, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand. (Isaiah 64:8)

6 “O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter has done? declares the Lord. Behold, like the clay in the potter's hand, so are you in my hand, O house of Israel. (Jeremiah 18:6)

We do not have all the answers and we are not the ultimate judge of the heart. While Christ followers must be discerning and accountable we must be careful that we don't use discernment and opinion as a license to strategically apply God's grace to some while withholding it from others. At the end of the day in the words of one of my late mentors: "Grace is a liberal thing and all of us want it applied to us liberally."

The older I get and the longer I serve Christ the more I realize how little I know and how incomplete and desperate I am without Christ. I have moved from seeing myself as a "good" soldier of faith with marching orders from God, to realizing how broken and desperate I am on this journey of faith. This really helps me maintain some semblance of humility and prevents me from falling into the all too tempting trap of inflated self-importance. I get sin. I know its allure. I fear pride and arrogance because I know how destructive it can be. It whispers to us and calls us by name hoping we will embrace it and reject God and His word. But I know full well that sin's reward is short-lived, shallow and leaves us wanting. I also know that NO one is immune to sin, no matter how great a saint she may be.

So my cracked friends at the end of the day we may disagree over theology and the non-essentials of faith, or how we believe spiritual leaders must act, but we must agree that God is the ultimate, single voice of truth, authority, judgment, salvation and grace. I don't know about you but that really makes me want to listen more to Him than myself, or any other clay-footed follower. The old hymn proves true:

Have Thine own way, Lord!
Have Thine own way!
Thou art the Potter, I am the clay.
Mold me and make me after Thy will, While I am waiting, yielded and still.
~ Adelaid A. Pollard, 1907.

Old Friends

2011-07-14T13:12:00.003-04:00

This is my friend Riley. This picture was taken a couple of years ago as she was about to "pie" one of our VBS leaders.

I'm not related to Riley, although she is my spiritual daughter and sister in Christ. I had the privilege of dedicating her when she was a baby and baptizing her last summer. When I baptized her I was a blobbering mess of joyful tears. I've watched this child grow up and been fortunate to play a small role in her faith development and growth. Riley was the only steady preschooler in our children's ministry during Mosaic's early years.

I can't explain it, but I have an incredible bond with this child. I don't have grandchildren and our children are all grown up. Last Sunday was the first time I had seen Riley since they found the new tumor at Wake Forest University Medical Center. It's really hard to explain just how much her hug meant to me. She ran up to me before worship and as we hugged the tears began to flow and I couldn't stop them. I tried but I couldn't stop.

We talked like two old friends who are trying to catch up in a half hour phone call but don't have enough time! As she talked about her summer, the new puppy and swimming pool, I couldn't help but think to myself, "Lord, thank you for this blessing today. You knew I needed a hug from Riley and it was the perfect medicine to follow a tough day of medical prodding, poking and testing. Her smile and hug were like water in the desert to a parched soul. Thank you God for this incredibly precious gift that probably would have gone unnoticed without the reminder that every day from you is ALL gift!"

Outside of your family is there a child, teenager, or senior adult with whom you share inexplicable sheer joy? If not, find one. Ask God to provide and He will. I'm under no illusion, I get far more out of my relationship with these kids (so many now and over the years of pastoral ministry) than they ever receive from me. I'm indebted to their families and God for allowing me to be a small part of their lives and for letting me be this close to heaven's treasures.

Thank you Lord for big gifts in small packages over the years that have brought me great joy. As they grow (and many are beyond teenage years now) remind them that no one loves them like you, not even their parents and family. Keep them from harm. Show them your purpose for their lives and heal their hurts and wounds with grace. May their lives make much of You. Drench their families in grace and the strength of your Word for the sake of your glory and great Name!

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. -Prov. 22:6

I can't imagine the joy grandchildren bring although I'm gaining some idea the older I get!

An Unlikely Pair!

2011-07-12T11:47:00.000-04:00

Grateful for the Pressure

2011-07-05T09:56:00.006-04:00

Not to be gross, but I never thought I would be grateful for bladder and trans-rectal biopsy procedures! You can add in renal and kidney ultrasounds along with CT scans, CT guided needle biopsies and even cystoscopes! No I'm not a glutton for punishment, or uncomfortable medical procedures, but I am grateful for these diagnostic resources and tools. This Friday I will experience two of the least desirable of these procedures. Having experienced these procedures before I now know what to expect. And that is not necessarily a good thing, lol!

"Pressure" is a word that doctors love to use when they are describing what is otherwise "painful" to the rest of us. If it's not happening to you personally it's called "pressure". Kind of like when they describe the "pressure" of childbirth. Who are they kidding? Even the Bible refers to the "pain" of childbirth, not pressure! The other frequent phrase used by medical professionals to camoflouge pain is "slight discomfort". Discomfort is stubbing your toe, cutting a toenail too short, or water in your ears after swimming. Pain is usually involved when something sharp invades the body for the purpose of cutting out a small sample to put under a microscope.

Seriously, when compared to bone marrow harvesting, joint replacement surgery, neuro/spinal procedures, and repeated courses of chemo, my tests on Friday are uncomfortable as opposed to painful. This isn't my first medical dance so I know what to expect and I know I have a choice. I can choose to worry about the upcoming procedure, or I can choose to be grateful for the technology and advancements in medical science that eliminate words like, "guessing," and "exploratory". A short stroll through any cancer center where senior adults, or children are being treated should wake us up from the self-pity associated with diagnostic tests and procedures. Or visit Walter Reed/Bethesda military hospitals to see some real heroes who are battling serious pain. In comparison my tests really aren't a big deal.

Today, I am grateful for the ingenuity, wisdom, and technology invested in these tests, instruments, and devices as well as the men and women of science who discovered them. They are tools, tests and resources intended for good, not harm. I am grateful for the skill, knowledge and expertise God has given my doctor and those who will assist him. Thank you God for each of these upcoming procedures! May they ultimately be used to bring glory to Your great name!

The T-Mobile Flash Mob Dance

2011-07-03T21:39:00.000-04:00

A Lasting Declaration

2011-06-29T17:41:00.006-04:00

Declarations can be good or bad. Declarations are not usually the result of an emotional whim. They tend to come after a lot of time, thought, and consideration is given to the matter which they are designed to address.

Although it's not always the case declarations typically follow a prolonged experience or situation that prompts it. For example, a university administration may declare zero tolerance on campus for drugs/alcohol after several incidents involving them. A young man may declare his love for a young woman after an extended period of dating and drawing closer. A house may be declared "termite free" after a lot of hard work by a pest control company. A particular room in a house could be declared to be "pet free" after an incident involving Fido in that particular room. Declarations have consequences.

Our Declaration of Independence was not a knee-jerk reaction to British tyranny. Remember, we had been at war with Great Britain for over a year before the Declaration was written and approved by the Continental Congress. The Declaration put in writing the cogent desires of the 13 colonies to be free from British rule. Specific complaints or grievances against the British Monarchy (specifically King George III) were addressed in the Declaration. The principles stated in the Declaration are viewed as a filter through which the U.S. Constitution should be interpreted. It wasn't written until 11 years after the Declaration. President Lincoln was an ardent supporter of reading the U.S. Constitution in light of the truths/principles stated in the Declaration most notably:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

What declarations are you making these days? At work? To your family and friends? Before God? Be careful about making hasty declarations.

The signers of The Declaration of Independence thought through their declaration and most of them paid a very high price for taking such a noble stand. Declarations are risky. Aren't you glad those 56 men had the courage to take such a stand for freedom! Happy Birthday America!

Waiting, Again!

2011-06-26T21:28:00.003-04:00

Once again we wait and pray as time passes. We are back in a familiar place, "hurry up and wait". A routine scan at Wake Forest Medical Center revealed an unexpected tumor near the ones removed in 2009. Friday was a quick trip to Winston Salem for a needle CT biopsy in Interventional Radiology at NC Baptist Hospital. I continue to thank God for the dedicated men and women of WFUMC and their compassion, professionalism and level of care.

"Suspicious for lymphoma," was my doctor's words given my history. Although scar tissue, a benign tumor, or a rare peritoneal condition are also among the possibilities. We leave this time to God and those handling the pathology, knowing that God is the One who created human pathology and DNA! This is familiar territory for us. Waiting, watching and praying are a spiritual discipline for us. I'd like to think we have improved in the application of this discipline since the medical ride of 2009. Once again we wait with eyes fixed on Jesus and hope that abounds no matter what word comes back from Wake Forest.

It looks like some type of chemo cocktail, or surgery but we will wait and not get ahead of God-gifted physicians. We will take the next step with fervent prayer and the wise counsel of a seasoned medical team led by my personal favorite, Dr. "A"! I owe that man and Wake my life, or at least a kidney :)

Join us as we pray and remember Job's words to his wife who said he should curse God and die: "Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity ?" (Job 2:10b NAS)

Hanging on only because of sweet Jesus!

My Weak Link In His Strong Chain

2011-06-21T15:17:00.003-04:00

The notion of strength through weakness is quite a paradox. In our culture the weak are not considered to be very strong. From the time we are children we are told to drink all of our milk so we will have "strong" bones. We learn very early that "weak" teams are usually on the losing end of competition. Weak finances don't move economies or companies forward. Weak bodies aren't the picture of health. Weaker animals become food for strong ones. Weak foundations don't make strong buildings. Weak political parties, or candidates rarely hold the incumbent seats in office.

Yet the biblical story repeatedly points to strength displayed in the weakest of people and places. Over and over we find ordinary people doing extraordinary things through the power of God. Weak widows, weak children, weak blind/lame individuals and powerless people are empowered by God through Jesus Christ to bring God glory. In Acts 7, a weak and woefully outnumbered apostle named Stephen stands up to the Jewish leadership and boldly declares the gospel to a crowd bent on tradition and ritual. Stephen is stoned to death for his strong stand for Christ, but Luke makes an interesting observation at the height of the faceoff:

But he, being full of the Holy Spirit, gazed into heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God, and said, “Look! I see the heavens opened and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God!”

God's glory is revealed to and through a man dying at the hands of those who were considered to be among the most powerful in their culture. The weaker becomes stronger!

The Apostle Paul spoke of his "thorn in the flesh" and many scholars believe it may have been related to poor eyesight. Whatever it was we know that the Apostle had a physical condition that was a source of nagging pain for him. But like Stephen, Paul chose to let his weakness bring God glory. In 2 Corinthians 12 he writes:

9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

I don't know about you, but if I'm honest I have to admit that I rarely view my weaknesses, especially physical ones as an opportunity for God to display His power and become stronger. It's probably because of my limited vision. Instead of looking for God, we often look at ourselves and our immediate pain, problem, or trouble. Paul and Stephen, were fully aware of their weaknesses, or position, but instead they chose to focus on the glory of God! May God help us to have the vision and perspective of Stephen and Paul.

Chosen! Adopted! Valued! Prized! Wanted! Heirs!

2011-06-14T19:18:00.002-04:00

Recently while studying Romans 8:15-17, I was reminded once again what it means to be a child of God. It is a simple, but profound biblical truth for those who follow Christ. Here's Eugene Peterson's take on it in The Message:

This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It's adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike "What's next, Papa?" God's Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what's coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we're certainly going to go through the good times with him!

"What's next, Papa?" I love that imagery. What a prayer to start the day!

A Miracle

2011-06-13T07:00:00.000-04:00

These are among the first publicly released photos of U.S. Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords who was shot in the head by a lone gunman at a town meeting in Arizona last January. Her miraculous recovery reminds all of us that courage in the face of danger is at the heart of the American spirit. Giffords congressional office has released several photos of the congresswoman on her Facebook page. We continue to hold her and all of the victims in our thoughts and prayers. Her recovery is a light of hope to the families and friends of the other 12 victims and the six people who were killed in the sudden and brutal attack. It also reminds us that terror whether foreign, or domestic cannot kill the spirit.

Congrats South Carolina!

2011-06-12T21:56:00.004-04:00

Congratulations to the University of South Carolina Gamecocks baseball team and their super regional baseball victory over UConn on Sunday! The win sends the Gamecocks back to Omaha and the College Baseball World Series, where they will defend their 2010 national championship! Good luck Gamecocks and Coach Ray Tanner!

Grace Has No Regrets!

2011-06-06T12:34:00.006-04:00

Former NFL NY Giants star receiver Plaxico Burress walked out of a prison today after serving 20 months on gun charges. According to the NY Daily News, Burress stopped briefly to talk to the media outside of the Oneida Correctional Facility:

"It's a beautiful day," Burress said as he left the medium-security Oneida Correctional Facility in upstate Rome. "It's a beautiful day to be reunited with my family. I want to go home and spend some quality time with them."

Wearing shades, Burress thanked God and "all my fans all around the world for the thousands of letters, for their unwavering support."

Asked about a possible return to pro football, Burress answered, "If and when everything gets settled, when they get back on the field, I'll be ready."

To be fair Plaxico did not use a gun in the commission of a felony toward someone else. However, he still unlawfully possessed a handgun in a NYC night club when it discharged in his pants. At best it was poor judgment that potentially endangered others, and at worse it was a total disregard for the law. New York's handgun laws are very stringent and you would have to be living on another planet to know otherwise. His actions give lawful, responsible and trained handgun owners a really bad image. The only thing he needs to carry in the future is an Ipod.

This wasn't Plaxico's first brush with the legal system. He has faced several civil lawsuits since he was drafted, and twice had temporary restraining orders filed against him in connection with domestic violence, but both were dismissed by the courts. However, like Michael Vick the former star player has served his time.

My friend Craig Loscalzo is known for saying, "You never regret extending grace." If you are a Christ-follower think about the implications of that statement in the context of Jesus' counsel to forgive and pray for our enemies, as well as Paul's reminder that we are to be reconciler's because we have been reconciled unto God by Jesus Christ. Reconciled people should be models of reconciliation toward others, even those we don't like, or those who have hurt us!

With that in mind I say welcome back to free society Plaxico! You have served your time and earned your release. I hope you have learned the lessons of gratitude, humility, responsibility, and serving others while in prison. Prove the naysayer's and cynics wrong by modeling a life of integrity, character and responsibility. Give back to the game and its fans who made you wealthy. Resist the temptation to talk about yourself in the 3rd person as so many celebrities and athletes are prone to do these days. Don't start tweeting and avoid YouTube posts. Ask Ben Roethlisberger about those. You've been away from cameras and microphones for nearly two years, I would advise that you continue to avoid them until you can talk about others, or your team more than yourself. I would also suggest you let your work in the training room and on the field (whenever the lockout ends) speak for you while saving most of your conversation for your loved ones and family.

Welcome back Plaxico! I wish you and your family well. It's not going to be easy, but you can do it! As someone with deep flaws I can attest to the power of forgiveness and humility. As a beneficiary of grace, I have learned the importance of extending it toward others. May you find grace too!

A Much Needed Prayer

2011-06-01T17:38:00.004-04:00

As a minister's child and pastor I believe I have a deep and unique appreciation for the prayers on behalf of our spiritual leaders. As a child I was a beneficiary of those who prayed for my pastor father. As an adult layman, I knew the difference our prayers made in the life of our pastor, David and his wife, Amy many, many years ago. Now 20+ years later I can testify to the immeasurable strength, hope, healing, humility and support the prayers of the faithful bring upon those who lead. Prayer is probably the most under utilized and underestimated action those in the faith community can practice on behalf of their spiritual leaders. Prayer is the foundational support for those in ministry whether pastoral staff, elders, deacons, small group, or other leaders in the local church.

Dr. Richard Foster offers the following prayer for spiritual leaders. Let me encourage you to pray this over your pastor, small group leader, or a deacon in your church. They will be absolutely blown away, I promise!

I pray, dear God, for our spiritual leaders.

Increase in them the charism (spiritual grace) of faith that they might preach the Word of God with boldness.
Increase in them the charism of wisdom that they might always lead us with compassion and strength.

I intercede, O Lord for our spiritual leaders.

Grow in them the fruit of gentleness that they might understand our frailty.
Grow in them the fruit of peace that they might be free of manipulation.
Grow in them the fruit of love that they might always serve out of a divine well spring.

I plead, gracious Father, for our spiritual leaders.

Protect them from the attacks of the evil One.
Protect them from the distractions that render their work ineffective.
Protect them from the criticism of well-meaning people.

All these thanks I ask in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen

Memorial Day

2011-05-30T09:13:00.003-04:00

Remember the fallen and the families of those who have paid the ultimate sacrifice to preserve our freedoms!

Perspective

2011-05-23T10:03:00.004-04:00

Recent tornadoes and flooding in the South and Midwest remind us that life is indeed fragile, precious and fleeting. Nature has violently interrupted the "normal routine" of thousands and taken the lives of hundreds of others. It's much more than an inconvenience when you lose your home, possessions and town or neighborhood.

Those of us unscathed by these recent disasters simply because of geography need to take stock in our lives. The least we can do is make a financial donation to a relief agency and pray for our sisters and brothers who've been victimized by these natural disasters. The pictures from these locations should be a sobering reminder of the things we often take for granted. Things like:

A place to live and hold all our "stuff"
Loved ones whose quirks can drive us crazy
Shingled roof
Clean and safe water to drink
Yards, houses and streets without standing, or raging water
Sitting in traffic in our cars instead of salvaging stuff from debris filled yards and streets
Having a job and a place to work, even one we may not like
Being able to enter our neighborhood that IS NOT blocked off by authorities
Going to a restaurant of our choice
Doing laundry in a washing machine that isn't 4 blocks away, or under water
Going through life and our "normal" routine that is rarely appreciated but often lamented
Mowing the yard, or tending to flowers and plants that haven't been destroyed
Washing a car
Reading in your favorite chair
Laughing with a friend, or family member

Too many of us whine, complain, criticize, and lament about life, people, things and situations that victims of disaster would welcome with open arms. When your life is violently disrupted you are grateful for a job you previously hated, a house that needed to be cleaned, or a neighbor's crazy lawn art you disliked. Crisis, tragedy, and trouble tend to frame perspective in ways we previously overlooked, missed, or took for granted.

May God grant us patience and gratitude for the lives we live. And may He fill us with compassion and mercy for those who are hurting, wounded and simply trying to pick up the pieces of their lives. Remind me Lord, every day, even the bad ones is a gift from you!

Words Are Powerful

2011-05-17T23:12:00.004-04:00

Have you ever noticed how hard it is for certain words, or phrases to come to us? Think about it. When’s the last time you said to someone:

•I’m sorry
•I was wrong
•It’s my fault
•What can I do to make this right?
•You go first
•I dropped the ball

While these words have grow faint in our culture others seem to be growing:

•I want….
•I won’t bend until she does
•I deserve…..
•He had better apologize
•She is a……
•I hear he has………
•They hurt me…..

Pronouns can help, heal, or hurt:

• I love you
• We hate her
• They are a blessing
• He’s a jerk
• You are amazing
• She is a class act

Words can bless and words can tear down. People with a critical spirit are fluent in poison-tipped words. Humble people use words laced with the love of God. Some words come too easy and others are held hostage by pride and insecurity. I am responsible for my words, but many times my words are irresponsible and lacking in grace. Christ-followers should use words that build up, encourage, support, help and demonstrate humility and grace.

I find it interesting that Jesus’ words in the gospels, even the tough ones bring glory to God and were never self-serving. According to Jesus we had better think twice about the words we use: I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak (Matt. 12:36 ESV).

May God help us with every word we speak, or fail to say!

A Helping Hand

2011-05-09T01:00:00.001-04:00

It was late and the waitress had just let out the last customers. I was cleaning up the kitchen and just itching to finish so I could head across the street to see the young blonde waitress who made my heart skip. She still does.

It happened so fast, like those stories you hear from people who survive an earthquake, or a plane crash. Before I knew it, there was a very tall and imposing man pointing a pistol at the waitresses face as she was starting to count out the cash drawer. If you’ve never been confronted at gunpoint it’s hard to explain how you feel. Violated is a good word and a good start.

She started shaking uncontrollably and he was just as nervous. The gun started wobbling as his hand shook. I was only 19, and had been around guns, but nothing like this. Back then there weren’t video games, or television shows with powerful graphics or violent images to anesthetize you to crime like today. Carol Burnette was still making us laugh on the weekends and Jim Rockford was about as violent as it got. So you can imagine what it felt like to have a big, black pistol shoved in your face.

I moved forward to move the frozen waitress, who by this point had lost control of some of her bodily functions and was now standing in a puddle. I wasn’t thinking about the consequences of moving. I just knew that she needed to be moved out of the way if he was going to get what he wanted. As I moved forward, he pointed the gun at me. I explained that I had to move her out of the way to open the cash drawer. Standing on the floor safe I opened the cash drawer as he jumped over the cash register and began to grab one’s, five’s, ten’s and twenty’s. He flew out the door as quickly as he entered.

It wasn’t until a Sheriff’s deputy arrived that we felt safe. I remember seeing his uniform and badge as he came through the door. Victims of natural disasters must feel that way when they see Red Cross volunteers, trucks and helicopters. Your world has been violently interrupted and you need something to restore your faith in humanity. It’s hard to explain if you have never experienced something like it, but a helping hand in crisis is like water in the desert.

We would learn later that four other Pizza Hut's in our city had been hit the same night. We weren’t alone. Crews at other restaurants had experienced the same kind of violation we had. Thankfully, no one decided to play hero and all the employees were safe.

Every day people around the world have their life interrupted by events beyond their control. The people of Alabama, Mississippi, and Georgia have had their interrupted by storms. People along the Mississippi River in Missouri, Illinois and Kentucky are battling rising flood waters. And people in Libya and Syria are facing the gunfire of their own military! It may not be that dramatic, but still a car wreck, house fire, cancer, divorce, the death of a loved one, or a job loss can leave us searching for answers and in need of a helping hand.

Hurting, scared, broken, wounded, victimized people everywhere are looking for relief, hope, help and peace. Could it be that each of us has the ability to be the "Sheriff deputy" in the life of someone who is hurting, like the one that entered our restaurant on that scary night? Is there someone your presence can provide calm, confidence, help and hope? Can you be a helping hand? Jesus gives us a role model in Luke 10:

³³ But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. ³⁴ He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him. ³⁵ The next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’³⁶ “Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?” ³⁷ The expert in the
law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.” Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.”

Blog Break!

2011-05-02T15:48:00.002-04:00

Taking a break from blogging for the first week of May. Check back the week of the 9th!

How Can You Help Disaster Relief in the South?

2011-04-28T22:44:00.002-04:00

Here are some links to organizations that are on the scene in Alabama/Georgia providing Disaster Relief. Please pray for the victims and the survivors of these deadly twisters who are in shock and mourning. Please pray for the First Responders and the Disaster Relief workers who are on site and will be coming to devastated locations for several months. Here are some credible and respected Disaster Relief groups you can support.

Salvation Army Disaster Relief

The American Red Cross

Samaritan's Purse (Franklin Graham's organization)

Southern Baptist Disaster Relief through NAMB

David Platt's (Author of Radical) Church in Birmingham

A Miracle at the Cape

2011-04-27T08:25:00.007-04:00

Royal wedding watch aside, the biggest story on Friday will be the launch of the Space Shuttle Endeavor with Commander Mark Kelly at the controls. While the burst of flames from the launch pad at the Cape will be garnering most of the camera clicks and video roll the bigger story will be on the observation deck. And no, it won't be for President Obama and his family who are expected to be on hand.

Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords will be present to watch her husband, Commander Kelly and his crew launch the shuttle Endeavor for the last time. The congresswoman has been in an intensive rehab program in Houston for a brain injury sustained when she was shot in the head at a political event in Tucson in early January. Six people were killed in that attack by a lone gunman.

Sporting a turqouise "Gabby" wristband upon his arrival in Florida with the Endeavor crew earlier this week, Commander Kelly spoke about his wife's miraculous recovery and her anticipated arrival at the Kennedy Space Center, "It’s something she’s been looking forward to for a long time," he said. "She’s been working really hard to make sure that her doctors would permit her to come. She’s more than medically ready to be here, and she’s excited about making this trip."

Royal watcher's won't like this, but I think the Congresswoman's appearance at the Kennedy Space Center is a far more interesting story than a wedding whose cost could probably retire the debt of a few state governments, or feed a small country.

Endeavor is scheduled for its last launch at 3:47 P.M. EDT, Friday. Gabrielle Giffords presence will remind all of us that life is worth fighting for and terror (whether global, national, or local) does not get the last word in a free country. Her presence also serves to bring healing to the families of the six people who died in the attack. God speed Commander Kelly, Endeavor crew and Congresswoman Giffords!

Living on the Other Side of Resurrection

2011-04-24T22:31:00.003-04:00

Lent has come and gone. 40 days of fasting, renewal, reflection and anticipation have been fulfilled in Easter and the resurrection of our Lord!

Living on the other side of the resurrection can be anti-climatic if we aren't careful. But it can also be exciting.

God has entrusted us to share the gospel with the world. We have the privilege, joy and calling to tell others about the Good News of Easter. A great place to begin post-resurrection devotionals is the book of Acts. It's a fascinating study of what Christ-followers did after the His ascension to heaven. It's Luke's account of the gospel breaking down barriers and going forward. We too, have a story to share with the world. It can break racial, economic, ethnic, geographic and cultural barriers if we will share it with respect and love. We determine how we will live after Easter. We can return to "business as usual" or we can begin anew. How will we live on this side of the resurrection? Family members, friends and neighbors who don't know Jesus are counting on us to carry the gospel in our words, actions and attitudes. May we be as faithful as the Early church!

A Dark and no Good Friday

2011-04-22T00:00:00.005-04:00

Matthew 27:32ff
32 As they went out, they found a man of Cyrene, Simon by name. They compelled this man to carry his cross. 33 And when they came to a place called Golgotha (which means Place of a Skull), 34 they offered him wine to drink, mixed with gall, but when he tasted it, he would not drink it. 35 And when they had crucified him, they divided his garments among them by casting lots. 36 Then they sat down and kept watch over him there. 37 And over his head they put the charge against him, which read, “This is Jesus, the King of the Jews.” 38 Then two robbers were crucified with him, one on the right and one on the left. 39 And those who passed by derided him, wagging their heads 40 and saying, “You who would destroy the temple and rebuild it in three days, save yourself! If you are the Son of God, come down from the cross.”

41 So also the chief priests, with the scribes and elders, mocked him, saying, 42 “He saved others; he cannot save himself. He is the King of Israel; let him come down now from the cross, and we will believe in him. 43 He trusts in God; let God deliver him now, if he desires him. For he said, ‘I am the Son of God.’” 44 And the robbers who were crucified with him also reviled him in the same way.

45 Now from the sixth hour there was darkness over all the land until the ninth hour. 46 And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” that is, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” 47 And some of the bystanders, hearing it, said, “This man is calling Elijah.” 48 And one of them at once ran and took a sponge, filled it with sour wine, and put it on a reed and gave it to him to drink. 49 But the others said, “Wait, let us see whether Elijah will come to save him.” 50 And Jesus cried out again with a loud voice and yielded up his spirit.

51 And behold, the curtain of the temple was torn in two, from top to bottom. And the earth shook, and the rocks were split. 52 The tombs also were opened. And many bodies of the saints who had fallen asleep were raised, 53 and coming out of the tombs after his resurrection they went into the holy city and appeared to many. 54 When the centurion and those who were with him, keeping watch over Jesus, saw the earthquake and what took place, they were filled with awe and said, “Truly this was the Son of God!”

Maundy Thursday

2011-04-21T00:00:00.000-04:00

Maundy Thursday-Matthew 27:26ff

26 Now as they were eating, Jesus took bread, and after blessing it broke it and gave it to the disciples, and said, “Take, eat; this is my body.” 27 And he took a cup, and when he had given thanks he gave it to them, saying, “Drink of it, all of you, 28 for this is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins. 29 I tell you I will not drink again of this fruit of the vine until that day when I drink it new with you in my Father's kingdom.”

2011-04-18T07:00:00.000-04:00

We lost a 1/3 of a giant Water Oak last weekend. Unfortunately the 60' 65+ year-old tree is gonna have to come down.

I hate cutting down trees. This old gentleman has been in our back yard for 8 years. Actually he was here long before our house. He has character, but a weak spot allowed rain to pour into his trunk and weaken him.

I wonder what type of tree provided the cross for Jesus on Good Friday. Was it an old tree? Did it splinter? Did the tree have any idea God's very own Son would hang from it? Why did the Roman's pick this tree? How did they know which one was the right tree? Was it a noble tree with character like ours? Did God know when He created it that it would bear His Son?

Being nailed to a tree is a humiliating act. This is a tree that Jesus embraced, unlike the fig tree outside Jerusalem that He cursed. I wonder if the tree had any idea the the very Son of glory would one day hang from his branches? This tree would become a sign of hope for the world. It held God's Son and the sins of humanity. Of all the trees in the world, this tree was the strongest. Good Friday approaches. The faithful wait, breathless, anticipating the cruelty that's coming. The tree awaits and groans for all humanity.

Palm Sunday Praise!

2011-04-16T23:16:00.003-04:00

Hosanna! Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord! Come Lord, Jesus!

Michael W. Smith - Prepare Ye The Way [A New Hallelujah]

2011-04-13T08:45:00.000-04:00

Holy Week is almost here! Palm Sunday marks the beginning of Christ's Passion. The week begins with thunderous applause and shouts of joy, but the darkness of Good Friday looms. 2,000+ years ago pilgrims lined the road into Jerusalem cheering the Lord's entry. Despite countless warnings from Him to the disciples, no one but Jesus knew what lie ahead. This side of the Resurrection Christ-followers are supposed to live in ways that anticipate the coming of our King and prepare the way of the Lord.

"I will wait for you" by Official P4CM Poet JANETTE...IKZ

2011-04-09T22:39:00.000-04:00

A poem for single people everywhere!

Life's Leader Board

2011-04-05T11:15:00.006-04:00

The 75th Masters Golf Tournament is being played at historic Augusta National Golf Course this week. You don't have to be a golfer to appreciate the sheer beauty of the course Bobby Jones built. Spectacular southern flora and manicured lush green fairways are as much of the Augusta experience as the actual golf tournament.

Throughout the course, leader board's keep patrons and players abreast of what's happening on the rest of the golf course. As you make your way through the main entrance and walk toward the #1 fairway you see the main leader board which posts the scores of every player and the entire tournament. You wouldn't want to, but you could stand in front of that board and follow the tournament without ever actually watching someone strike a golf ball. The goal of course is to stay near, or at the top of that board for four days.

Unlike golf, the goal of the Christ-centered life is to be last, or least. Giving preference to others, self-denial, and acts of service and humility is what gets you atop heaven's leader board. Unlike the individual sports of tennis and golf, the Christ-centered journey doesn't self-promote. In fact, promoting others, humbling ourselves and surrendering our agenda to God's is the equivalent of being a scratch golfer in the Christ-centered life. The stars and pros of heaven are quiet, unassuming people who simply serve God and are seeking to follow Scripture and pattern their lives after Jesus Christ. They are the ones who realize that no human has, or will ever be atop heaven's leader board because it's the spot reserved solely for a holy, righteous and sovereign God.

As we enter the final days and weeks of the Lenten journey let's continue to seek ways that our lives, words and actions continue to push God to the top of life's leader board for the sake of His glory, the gospel and all eternity!

42 And Jesus called them to him and said to them, “You know that those who are considered rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. 43 But it shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, 44 and whoever would be first among you must be slave of all. (Mark 10:42-44 ESV)

There Is None Like You

2011-03-29T10:27:00.000-04:00

Lent always brings me a heightened awareness and reminder of God's sovereignty, power, and authority. Shane & Shane's version of "There Is None Like You" affirms the Lenten lesson of our dependence upon an all sufficient God!

While I'm Waiting - John Waller

2011-03-24T15:05:00.000-04:00

Lent is a season of waiting. However, our waiting is not passive. It is active. As we continue to journey toward Christ's Passion and the heightened awareness of it that comes as a result of observing Lent, enjoy these powerful words from John Waller. Happy Waiting!

Beach Longings

2011-03-21T13:07:00.002-04:00

Do you remember at the end of John's gospel when Jesus appeared to seven of the disciples on the beach after his resurrection? The seven had been fishing all night on the Sea of Tiberias and caught nothing. Just as daylight breaks they see a stranger (Jesus) calling out to them from the shoreline. He asks if they have any fish and when they say no, he tells them to throw their nets to the other side of the boat. When they do their nets are overwhelmed with fish! Standing in the boat, John turns to Simon Peter and says, "It is the Lord!" They come to shore and have breakfast with the risen Lord!

We all have empty nets. These are the things we are unable to do by ourselves. They are the things in which we are totally dependent upon God's provision. Empty nets from different places in several forms like:

Health challenges/issues
Job/vocational concerns
Broken relationships
Addictions
Depression/emotional problems
Codependence
Apathy
Rejection
Anger, bitterness, unforgiveness
Childhood wounds

And more. However, like the disciples who had fished all night, it's only when we seek God's direction and instruction that we find our nets are filled with hope, peace, rest, and other provisions of grace. Unlike the disciples, we don't have to wait until after Easter morning to experience it. Those who choose to do so walk this beach of the Lenten season with Jesus. And as we do we hear His voice calling out to the empty nets of our lives: "Cast your nets to the other side," as He provides direction through our soul search of Lent through fasting, prayer, confession and repentance. The sea at Lent can be lonely and desolate, but look to the shoreline and listen for the Master's voice. Then go and do likewise.

Go Dawgs!

2011-03-19T22:09:00.003-04:00

Congrats to my alma mater the small, but mighty Butler Bulldogs for knocking off No. 1 seeded Pittsburgh and advancing to the NCAA Sweet 16 again! Once again the "talking heads" and experts gave the Dawgs no love after a mediocre season in the Horizon League, but somehow they mustered the strength to advance. Free throw shooting, assists and basic fundamentals is a staple of Butler Basketball. Congrats Coach Stephens and the Dawgs!

Lenten Reflection

2011-03-16T11:52:00.003-04:00

Be still and know that I am God.

Unplug, get away, take time to reflect and renew. If you don't carve out this time and guard it, it will never happen.

The hard work of Lent is in the time alone with God. Soul care takes time and with our busy lives you have to make it a priority.

Be still.....and in the stillness listen for God!

Rended Hearts

2011-03-10T22:16:00.002-05:00

A Lenten Meditation from Joel 2 (ESV)

12 “Yet even now,” declares the Lord,
“return to me with all your heart,
with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning;
13 and rend your hearts and not your garments.”
Return to the Lord your God,
for he is gracious and merciful,
slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love;
and he relents over disaster.
14 Who knows whether he will not turn and relent,
and leave a blessing behind him,
a grain offering and a drink offering
for the Lord your God?

15 Blow the trumpet in Zion;
consecrate a fast;
call a solemn assembly;
16 gather the people.
Consecrate the congregation;
assemble the elders;
gather the children,
even nursing infants.
Let the bridegroom leave his room,
and the bride her chamber.

17 Between the vestibule and the altar
let the priests, the ministers of the Lord, weep
and say, “Spare your people, O Lord,
and make not your heritage a reproach,
a byword among the nations.
Why should they say among the peoples,
‘Where is their God?’”

A Prayer for the Lenten Season

2011-03-08T23:00:00.000-05:00

Lord Jesus,

For 40 long days you fasted in the wilderness, resisting Satan's cunning temptations. Satan is still in the business of tempting and trapping. But we confess we often don't stand up too well. Our will gets weak and wobbly, and the next thing we know, the tempter has won. If only we had turned to you instantly, we might have much less to confess to you.

As it is, you know how we have slipped and fallen. You know the areas in which we are especially vulnerable, and so does the enemy. Forgive us, again. Thank you, Jesus.

We turn to you for strength, knowing you will not scorn our request, for you have been tempted in every way as we are. First, make us aware when we are in danger of falling into temptation. Sometimes, one apparently innocent thing suddenly turns into something we had no intention of permitting. Help us detect the snare before we step into it.

Throughout these days of Lenten discipline, school us in the arts of spiritual growth. Increase our desire to know you intimately and to be known by you. Work on us to develop the habits of obedience and prayer so that we become more firmly rooted in your Word and will, and better able to resist every trick of the Evil One, for Jesus' sake. Amen. (Prayer from Homiletics Magazine)

This Buds For You!

2011-03-03T16:03:00.004-05:00

Spring has exploded in the Carolina's! Pear and cherry trees along with yellow jonquils/daffodils are exploding with blooms.

Yeah it's way too early for this pre-emergence of Spring because it's just a matter of time before another hard freeze sweeps over us, but who cares? Enjoy it! Consider it God's early gift for a hard/cold winter. It's as if God is saying to us, "This bud's for you (tree and flower buds that is)!"

I've got strands of green shoots peaking through dormant, brown Bermuda grass and my purple hyacinth is sticking up through the mulch as if it's checking out the weather and waiting for a report before its blooms push through. I'm just hoping the azaleas hold off. For once I'd love for all of them to fully bloom without a late frost wipeout.

Heading into Lent it would be a good thing to become reaqainted with God's response to Job in Job 38 when God speaks to Job and reminds him of His awesome creative power. Last time I checked there's nothing we can do to control the weather and changing seasons. Consider it gift and enjoy God's beautiful canvas of creation!

An Open Letter to Charlie Sheen

2011-02-28T22:00:00.003-05:00

Dear Charlie,

I caught your recent interview on NBC’s Today Show. I don’t watch your television show so I haven’t seen you in a long time. I remember you as a young actor full of passion in the mid-80’s movies: Platoon and Wall Street. However, when I saw you on the Today Show I thought you looked tired. Your face seemed drawn. Your boyish looks have faded and given way to the drawn frame associated with hard living and addiction. Your vocabulary seems to be full of cynicism, sarcasm, anger and bitterness betraying the confident package you are trying to project.

Last week you appeared on a national, syndicated talk radio show and blasted Alcoholics Anonymous: It's the work of sissies. The only thing I'm addicted to is winning. This bootleg cult, arrogantly referred to as Alcoholics Anonymous, reports a 5 percent success rate. My success rate is 100 percent.

I believe you also called AA a “cult” and “a bunch of losers,” who are “brainwashing” your family. During the Today Show interview I was interested in how you said you have cured yourself from alcohol and drug addiction. Having worked for years with the recovery movement and many addicts I was fascinated. I wanted to know your secret that seems to have eluded famous people (I believe you called them sissies) who practice/practiced and embrace the recovery and 12-step movement like:

Jamie Lee Curtis; Robin Williams; Betty Ford; Elton John; Stephen King; Michael J. Fox; Eric Clapton; Anne Lamott; Robert Downey, Jr.; Larry Hagman; Kitty Dukakis; Patty Duke; Mary Tyler Moore; Ali McGraw; Dick Van Dyke; Dylan Thomas; Glenn Beck; George W. Bush; Christopher Lawford Kennedy; Johnny Cash; Joe Walsh; Sir Anthony Hopkins (who by the way, has raised funds for AA because it changed his life); Governor Anne Richards; Stevie Ray Vaughan; Astronaut Buzz Aldrin; and, Al Unser, Jr. I could go on and on, but you get the idea.

I was intrigued because you seem to have been able to do what these people were unable to do by themselves. I believe you said, "I closed my eyes and made it so with the power of my mind. I had to unload 22 years of fiction and just decided I don't believe that anymore." Then holding the handbook of AA you called it a, “silly book written by a broken-down fool who is a plagiarist."

Charlie, Dr. Harris Stratyner, Ph.D., an addiction psychologist with Caron Treatment Centers commenting on your own recovery process and take on AA has said, "It's unfortunate that Charlie Sheen is offering a misleading opinion about curing addiction," He added, "Addiction is a progressive and chronic disease that can be fatal if it's not treated. There is no known cure. But individuals and families can recover if they are willing to do the work. Twelve-step based residential treatment and programs such as Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon are vital to addicts and their families for long term recovery."

Charlie, I don’t live in Hollywood and I don’t make enough money in a year to even maintain the lawn of your home there, so I’m obviously not on your level of influence. To be honest, I am very unimportant and I am broken. I breathe, function, walk, talk and live at the mercy of God. I really am “powerless” without Jesus Christ in my life. And it’s only by grace that I am able to know Him, so that probably qualifies me to be among the “sissies”. In light of your incredible mental strength, successful career and wealth, I probably am a sissy. However, because of that grace, and only because of it, I have God’s ear in prayer. And Charlie, I’m whispering to Him on your behalf:

“Holy Father, grant Charlie Sheen long and lasting sobriety through whatever means necessary. Give him a sober mind and clarity of thought. Bring him great joy. Strengthen his relationship with his family and children. Protect them. Bind them together in chords of love that cannot be broken. Shower him with so much grace in his life that he craves humility, justice and mercy. Comfort him in the dark when it’s just You and him. May he be overwhelmed by your power and love, so much so that he cannot help but share it with others. And Lord, remind every one of us of our obligation to pray for the Charlie Sheen’s of this world, and that we are all in recovery from sin. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.”

Projection Is Unhealthy

2011-02-27T18:59:00.007-05:00

Projecting our feelings, or opinions onto others can be troubling, not to mention meddlesome. It can happen in business, among friends, in marriage and churches. Let's say a child is trying to tell a parent how they feel, but the parent is more concerned that the child have a specific response, or shares their opinion about the subject of the discussion. Yes, the parent may be trying to teach a truth, or help shape character, but denying the child's feelings is a mistake. I can't project my feelings, or opinion onto yours. We can't deny or dismiss the feelings, thoughts and opinions of others. The extreme of this is manipulation. Parents and spouses do this a lot. Ever met an adult who as a child was a long-term victim of this by an overbearing or controlling parent? Coerced conformity comes with baggage down the road.

When I make my experience, or opinion normative for others I have crossed a line. We cannot deny, or suppress individuality even in the church. True, we gather around a mutual set of beliefs, or core values. Behavior, conduct and attitudes should be shaped in light of those beliefs. Yes, we should have expectations of one another as Christ-followers. Hopefully in a church they are defined by Scripture instead of feelings, or human opinions. However, there are those who would impose their experience on everyone else. This happens in the workplace, but for our purposes let's examine how it manifests itself in the church:

Someone is led to pray out loud in public when the opportunity presents itself in worship, or a small group setting. But there are those who don't feel led to pray out loud. Careful, it doesn't mean they aren't sincere. Their quiet prayer life could be far more devoted than the one that is comfortable praying publicly.

I may be involved in a specific area of ministry, but there are others who never participate in that ministry. Yet, I expect them to have the same desire, calling and passion that I have for this ministry. However, they may be participating in ministries that I am not aware, or that I am not involved.

You may be more physically expressive in worship (e.g., clapping, raised hands, etc.), but others are driven to silence, reflection, or the worship has pierced so deep into their soul that the most appropriate response for them is a bowed head and silence. Expecting them to respond as I do denies the work of the Spirit in their life.

You may have a very strong opinion about non-essentials in faith like consuming alcohol (in moderation) and choose not to drink, yet a very godly person may enjoy an occasional glass of wine. Or, you may feel a certain biblical translation is the right one for you, but someone else may choose a different one. However, you expect them to be like you.

Someone believes a specific ministry is not being done the way they would do it, or prefer, but they don't have all the facts, are unaware of what others are doing, or have done in this regard. Easy to pick apart perceived gaps when you aren't rolling up your sleeves to do something about it. Maybe I could start by simply praying for this ministry and the area I perceive is falling short.

A lot of churches have prayer ministries that provide a "Prayer Room" for intercessors to come and pray. I think it's a great ministry and our church even has such a room. But what if someone would prefer to pray for the same requests and concerns in their own home and they actually spend more time in prayer? Which is the right way to pray? The one that is more visible (people see you coming and going), or the one done in private? Both! But if I begin to impose my experience upon yours I have ceased to allow your experience to be personal. I have made my faith expectations and actions normative for you. Let's agree on the need for authentic biblical accountability in the community of faith. But when did that translate into imposing our experience on others? This is misguided at best and worse, it is spiritual manipulation, or blackmail.

Taken to the extreme we begin to judge a persons personal relationship with Christ based on externals. Be careful, Jesus had some strong words on the religious leaders during His days with skin-on who made a big deal about outward spiritual acts. First mistake, we presume to judge the spiritual walk, or response of someone else. That's not our scriptural responsibility, or calling! Second mistake, we disregard our own personal soul care because we are more concerned about others than the places we need to improve, or shore up in our own relationship with Christ.

Relating to each other in a community of faith is like relating to family members. We may not always agree, or respond in the same way, but our love for one another and our passion for family is not jettisoned so we can all be alike. Do we value diversity under the Lordship of Christ, or not? Our attitudes, actions and words may answer otherwise. May God help us (the global church, all Christ-followers) to pray for and encourage one another when we are tempted to project!

Out of the Darkness

2011-02-23T22:40:00.003-05:00

Darkness seems to be all around us. Not the cover of night kind of darkness that appears after the sun goes down, but a mood, or tone that doesn’t seem to respect the laws of nature. It’s a darkness that looms over some of us despite the light of day.

This brand of darkness is paralyzing. It can bring the biggest of men to their knees. It can shake the foundations of even the most confident woman. It can shut down enthusiasm, routine, exercise, and “to do” lists. Sleep is one of its surprising strengths, but it’s not restful sleep as much as it is sheer exhaustion. Every fiber of the being is taxed, drained, and stretched to the breaking point. Simply put, this kind of darkness is a joy robber. Like a thief in the night it saps energy, countenance, confidence and attitude. Left alone it can even begin to feel comfortable and safe.

This darkness is one of Satan’s greatest tools. He’s counting that those who surrender to it won’t find a glimmer of light. He uses it to shut down any attempt to see the dawn. He’s counting on a retreat to a dimly lit room, or even better, curling up in fetal position in bed and checking out. Phones off, email at arms length and no communication with the outside world. But Satan forgets something the late Dr. Wayne Oates used to say: “The God of light is God of the darkness too!” You, me, we are not alone!

When you are in the dark cling to Jesus! Dig deep into His promises and drink from the well of God’s Word. Hold tight and move through the night knowing the “light of the world” is holding you. Lean into Jesus and away from the enemy! Hear the words of the weeping prophet and rejoice. Your rainbow is waiting!

22 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
23 they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
24 “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
“therefore I will hope in him.”

The Cry for Freedom: Wordle On the Middle East

2011-02-18T16:50:00.005-05:00

Wordle captures my reflections on the political unrest in the Middle East.

Zeitgeist 2010: Year in Review

2011-02-17T08:07:00.000-05:00

Okay so I'm a little late on this one, but check out the Google "Year in Review"

Blinded by Bucks

2011-02-16T15:09:00.004-05:00

During the last week the baseball world has been abuzz over St. Louis Cardinals slugger Albert Pujols and his contract negotiations. He is in the last year of his contract and will make $16 million this year. Some reports have mentioned a figure of $30 million per year in his next contract! Stay with me if you're not a sports fan, I promise this will make sense.

Alex Rodriguez signed a $275 million deal with the Yankees in 2007 that would keep him in the pinstripes for 10 years. According to S.I.com's 2010 Fortunate 50, A-Rod picked up $33 million last year in salary. Keep in mind this doesn't include endorsements, which can be even more lucrative for some athletes like Tiger Woods. Woods only made $20.5 million from golf last year, but his endorsements raked in about $70 million despite his off the course challenges and lost sponsorships. To be fair, golfers don't have playing contracts, so their salary from the sport is totally dependent upon their annual performance as opposed to a long-term contract like an NBA, or MLB player. Even though most contracts contain performance incentives, what do you think would happen if NBA, MLB and NFL players were paid out based on how they performed in each game in real time, not based on the previous year's performance?

Yankee short-stop, Derek Jeter's new 3-year deal is supposed to be worth $51 million, which follows a 10-year, $189 million dollar contract he signed in 2000. It paid him $21 million last season. In the NFL, Oakland Raiders cornerback, Nnamdi Asomugha signed a 3-year, $45 million contract in 2009. Ironically, the NFL is America's richest sports league, but a salary cap on individual players keeps their salary averages lower than baseball and basketball.

I want to be clear, I enjoy professional sports (college even more) and I embrace a free market system. I am not against professional athletes, or anyone else making as much as they can. However, I am seriously questioning a culture that embraces such extreme compensation disparity when you consider the actual services being offered. Our values in regard to pay equity are absolutely out of control. Consider the salaries above as you read the following.

The average salary for a South Carolina public school teacher is approximately $47,000 and that figure is skewed to the tenured side of the bar. The average TSA Screener who makes sure there are no explosives on your next flight makes anywhere between $29,143-$39,600 per year! According to a national job postings website, the average police officer in South Carolina makes $46,000, which is 8% lower than officer salaries in nationwide job postings. The same website puts hospital emergency room doctor salaries at $197,000 per year. The average salary for the nation's governors is $128,735, and South Carolina's governor ranks 38th among the states in salary! The average base pay salary for an E3 level U.S. soldier is approximately $20,750. When's the last time a professional athlete stared down enemy combatants and hostile fire for a little more than $20,000? Many athletes make far more in one game than these positions make in an entire year!

I'm not advocating a Robin Hood mentality that takes from the players and gives to the teachers, police, etc., although that might not be a bad idea, lol. I'm simply saying that we need to seriously examine our values. A local school teacher, police officer, or ER physician, has a far greater impact on my world than Peyton Manning, and I'm a diehard Colts fan!

If you think this has always been the case consider the following from the International Journal of Sports Finance:

"The current system (of escalating player salaries and lack of revenue sharing) is a prescription for disaster. But whether the disaster is just around the corner or will take place 10 years from now, I don't know" (Nightengale, 1990). This quote from Steve Greenberg, the former deputy commissioner of Major League Baseball (MLB), reveals baseball administration's concern over soaring league salaries. Greenberg's statement followed a period when the average salary mushroomed from $29,303 in 1970 to $597,537 in 1990. Since then, the average MLB player's salary has climbed to $3.15 million for the 2008 season. Even rookies and marginal players have witnessed sizable leaps in their wages as the minimum annual salary increased from $12,000 in 1970 to $390,000 in 2008. To put the players' relative wage increase into perspective: over the sample period, MLB salaries rose from slightly less than double the average American's wage rate in 1961 to over 70 times the average wage rate in 2005.

There is definitely something wrong with a society that rewards professional athletes over 70 times the national average wage rate! Is it me, or should an average professional baseball player be paid $3.15 million while the person responsible for leading a state of 3-4 million people is paid around $123,000 per year?

I wish I had an answer. Let me know if you've got one.

Egypt

2011-02-13T22:27:00.008-05:00

Pray for peace
Pray for the pursuit of freedom, liberty and democracy
Pray for peaceful, fair and free elections
Pray for courage
Pray for wisdom
Pray for safety
Pray for visionary, passionate, courageous, fair and honest leadership
Pray for reason
Pray for the oppressed, the poor, widows and orphans
Pray for Christ-followers who are working, and ministering in Egypt

The "Fridge": A Portrait of Self-Destruction

2011-02-10T15:31:00.006-05:00

Addictions are no laughing matter. They are serious and every day they wreck lives, marriages, families, businesses, and careers. Perhaps the most disturbing thing about addictive behavior is how it stalks victims from every walk of life and social strata. Alcohol and drug addiction is no respecter of education, income, race, religion, gender, or social position. Those of us involved in the work of recovery know that no matter how hard loved ones, professionals, co-workers and friends are willing to fight for someone's sobriety, it must begin with the individual.

Sadly, too many times co-dependent family and friends acknowledge the problem and its destruction, but they are paralyzed and actually enable the addiction instead of helping. Among the saddest and most pathetic stories I've heard recently is that of the once famous Clemson and Chicago Bear great, William "Refrigerator" Perry. His story is tragic and sad. In order for this blog to make sense you need to read the entire story (click here)

This is not complicated. It is a sad story of willful, self-destruction. For every family, every spouse, child, sibling, and friend living with/around someone caught in a similar addiction, I beg and implore you to intervene and do whatever you have to do to help the addict in your life wake up. However, at the end of the day, you are not responsible for their response and behavior. Recognize that at some point you may have to exercise some serious boundaries to protect yourself from becoming codependent. Remember, exercising a boundary does not mean the absence of love. In fact, when accompanied by fervent prayer it demonstrates the depths of our love.