"Thank-You" & "Excuse Me": Lost Words

I am convinced that the days of simple manners and common courtesies are over. A recent trip to Atlanta proved this to be true. More than once people bumped into me without saying "excuse me". Several times the same thing happened when a person crossed directly in front of me or my family. And I was incredulous when a man entered Starbucks behind me and actually had the audacity to physically step in front of me at the counter when I was the next person in line. Not only that, but he acted as though I wasn't there. Forget holding a door for someone and expecting them to say "thank you".

We are a self-centered and self-absorbed people. I know I'm painting with a broad brush. Yes, there are still people out there who are well mannered, practice social graces and common courtesies. However, the bulk of our culture seems to always be in a hurry, or absorbed with texting and talking on their cell phone at the exclusion of others. Most of us are so focused on meeting our own needs that we are indifferent to others.

It should not be unusual to us when people simply practice kindness and manners. It should be the norm in a civil society. Are the words, "please," "thank-you," "go ahead," and "excuse me," to hard to remember, or practice? Of course Christ-followers would like to think they practice these and other courtesies more than others. And we should: ⁷And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity. ( 2 Peter 1:7) However, I'm reminded what a friend in the service industry said recently about working a Sunday shift: "I hate working Sunday's. All the 'church' people come in after their services and they are the rudest customers and they leave the poorest tips." This may be perception more than reality, but I have heard this more than once from people who serve "church people". Christ-followers should take the lead in practicing simple kindness and social graces.

Imagine the impact it would have if every person across America who attends a weekend worship services took the lead in tipping, holding doors, saying "thank-you" and letting someone go ahead who is waiting to get in a line of traffic? I know it's not a major evangelism campaign, but these simple actions by millions of people in our country would have a major impact. It might start a revolution and instead of criticism, it might earn an open door for future conversations and relationships to talk about Christ, and the difference He makes in our lives. We sow seeds with our actions as much, if not more than we do with words.

People are watching. Don't believe me? While waiting for my recent surgery at North Carolina Baptist Hospital, my adult son arrived and upon finding us in the surgery waiting area, planted a kiss on the cheek and shared a hug with his Mom and me before he did anything else. Minutes later an elderly woman who was leaving with her family made a point to come over and tell us how much she appreciated seeing a "younger" person practice such respect and courtesy. She said she hardly sees it anymore. Oh yeah, people are watching!

How can you practice simple courtesy today? It will stand out, I promise. People notice because it's not the norm. Try it, you'll have a lot of fun.

Hidden Time Bombs

Went to see my urologist at Wake Forest this week to check on my kidney stones. Nope, picture at the left isn't mine but mine looks eerily similar.

We have a game plan and we're keeping an eye on these boogers. After my miracle medical journey the last six months these are small potatoes, even if three of them are too big to pass on your own. Hopefully, they will be gone by early next year without any initiative on their own if you know what I mean. It's funny, you know they are there and most of the time you live as though there's nothing wrong, but every now and then you think to yourself, "What if one of these bad boys decides to move?" It's like having a ticking bomb in your kidney. Fortunately, we have a plan with my doctor so I'm not living in fear. But should one of them start moving we know exactly what to do. What about you?

We all have ticking bombs. For some it's their marriage, or work, a relationship with a parent, or child. For others it's work related, an addiction, or a childhood issue that is just waiting to explode. Self-awareness of these issues is critical. Do you have a game plan for yours? Denial is not an option. I don't obsess over my stones, but I am keenly aware of their potential for harm. Most of our time bombs can push deep seeded emotions if they explode. How will you respond to yours?

Suggestions for a game plan? Prayer. Let God shape your response. Share with others. Talk to tenured Christ-followers you admire. Seek their prayer support, advice and accountability. As you read God's Word what does Scripture say about your situation? What have the giants of faith done when faced with similar circumstances? Be honest about it. Honest with God, your family, spouse, small group, etc. Live in Christ, not out of fear. Don't be held captive. Live with the hope of God shaping your situation and response to the future. The Boy Scouts were right: Be Prepared!

And That's the Way It Is....

"Old anchormen, you see, don't fade away; they just keep coming back for more. And that's the way it is: Friday, March 6, 1981. I'll be away on assignment, and Dan Rather will be sitting in here for the next few years. Good night."

Walter Cronkite's last nightly news broadcast ended with those words in 1981. The dean of broadcast journalists died Friday at the age of 92. His broadcast career spanned the generations of my grandfather, father and me. He covered the Battle of the Bulge before going to CBS News. He was the voice of comfort and information for the assassination of President John F. Kennedy, the Apollo 11 moon landing and Watergate. In a world before Internet he was the "most trusted man in a America".

If it came from Cronkite it had to be true! His breed and generation of news journalist didn't cower to the pop culture. He was the consummate professional and didn't need to dabble in the titillating headlines that so many journalists now consider necessary to get ratings and make the bucks.

AP reporter Ted Anthony has written a commentary that really captures what Cronkite meant to America and the unlikelihood it will ever be repeated by anyone in broadcasting. It is the passing of an era fondly remembered by those of us who lived during his reign at CBS. Goodnight Mr Cronkite. May you rest in peace.

A Better John Daly

I like the John Daly in the bottom picture than than the one on the top.

John Daly on the top is drunk.
John Daly on the bottom is tied for 22nd at the British Open at the end of the 2nd round. He shot rounds of 68 & 72. More than good enough to keep him at Turnberry through the weekend.

This is a crazy Open. Tiger didn't een make the cut and a 59-year old, British Open legend is tied for the lead heading into Saturday's 3rd round. It's been an unpredictable British Open for sure.

It seems John has come a long way since he was taken into protective custody while publicly drunk at a NC Hooters in 2008. Since then he's served a six-month suspension on the PGA tour, had lap ban surgery and lost 80 lbs. He's also picked up a new sponsor of some wild golf apparel called "Loud Mouth Golf". It appears his legendary binge drinking is at least under control if not over. Remember, this is a guy who bragged about downing a bottle of Jack Daniels every day during his 23rd year of life.

John Daly has always drawn crowds at tournaments. He is a fan favorite. Probably because he's never pretended to be anything other than himself. John has readily admitted his flaws, among them: failed marriages, legendary gambling losses, loving booze more than major sponsor Callaway and the help of golf coaching great Butch Harmon. I think Daly is appealing because, like many of us, he came to golf without a silver spoon in his mouth and many of us can relate to his roots in Arkansas. However, prior to the John Daly on the bottom, the media, fans and fellow golfers were getting tired of watching a great golfer self-destruct.

I like this John Daly better. He reminds me of the guy who drove all night in 1991, to get to the PGA as an alternate in Indianpolis and shocked the golf world by winning. I hope he's clean and sober. I hope he's taking better care of himself for the sake of his three children. I hope he's finding some peace. At 43, his prime-time days on the PGA tour are pretty much gone. However, he can still put together competitive rounds and just may surprise some folks if he continues this seemingly better path.

I look at John Daly (I've blogged on John in the past) and I see a little of myself, a flawed individual from non-country club roots who simply loves the game. People who know Daly say he is a likable fellow with a very tender heart. For every one of us recovering sinners, I hope John finishes strong this weekend. I pray he finds peace from his demons and maybe even someone who can talk to him about the only One who is capable of providing peace for the long haul regardless of a person's past. That is indeed the 1st Step. Go John go, and if Tom Watson doesn't pull it out, I hope you can.

Your Giant Jellyfish

Have you heard about the giant jellyfish attacking the fishing waters of Japan? Nearly all of the northern coasts of the Japanese islands are swamped with giant jellyfish. It’s killing the fishing industry.

Each one is about 400 lbs! There are so many that fishermen can’t even fish because they are spending all their fishing hours clearing out the giant invaders. The commercial fishing industry is drowning in giant jellyfish.

One company is trying to help the fishing industry by turning the problem into an opportunity. A company called Riken is exploring ways to use the jellyfish. Jellyfish are covered with mucus similar to the mucus found in the human body. Researchers have discovered a “pure” form of mucus that helps trap bacteria and other irritants. Researchers say the giant blobs are like a huge, primitive swimming stomach. They are working on developing things like artificial gastric fluids and saliva to help human related conditions.

Christ-followers often experience similar problems. We can’t fish because of giant obstructions. So we spend all our time discussing, or lamenting the problem instead of seeking creative ways to deal with them. How many times have you heard a church limit its vision for ministry because of a lack of finances or people? How many times do we allow life “stuff” to prevent us from exercising our faith?

Henry Blackaby writes, “You may be a Christian, but if your focus is always on your problems, your problems will determine the direction of your life….When you choose to focus on Christ, you invite Him to take the most important position in your life as Counselor and Defender.”

Christ-followers are no more immune to life junk and problems than anyone else. In fact a good case could be made that if you are trying to follow Jesus you’ll actually have more. At any rate, we should focus on Christ. When we encounter trouble or challenges we need to explore where God is working and go there. It might not always be the easiest route either. However, God is the ultimate entrepreneur. His Word is full of stories where He took impossible situations or problems and used them as opportunities to share His love with a broken world. Sounds like a pretty good plan to me. The writer of Hebrews encourages us to “fix our eyes on Jesus…..” Now that’s a great place to start the next time you encounter your giant jellyfish!

Reflections on the Winter of the Soul

Battling darkness right now, or know someone who is engaged in the battle? Stumbled onto this article by Kim Thoday, a pastor and author who lives in South Australia. I hope it brings some light to those in the darkness. It did for me. Holding a candle for those of us who've been there and those still in the darkness. Enjoy, MC

"Reflections on the Winter of the Soul" by Kim Thoday

The journey of discipleship moves a/cross into the vast variety of human terrain. We traverse the high mountains of God's love and mystery, the vast undulating and sometimes flat distances of God in the ordinary, the desert experiences of God in human frailty and the deep valleys of God's absence and human aloneness and despair.

It is in the moments and seasons of despair and depression, especially deep depression, that we can experience all hope and faith being extinguished by an ever more powerful vortex of blackness. These are quite common experiences in the long-term life of discipleship, triggered by a range of different human responses to grief, loss, tragedy, hurt, burnout, disillusionment and so on. We have moved a/cross a barrier; that fine, intangible line between hope and hopelessness, meaning and meaninglessness.

Saint John of the Cross, who was imprisoned in complete darkness for 9 months as a result of his beliefs, profoundly experienced this winter of the soul. He described the experience: "... the soul feels itself to be impure and miserable ... the soul knows clearly that it is unworthy of God or any other creature."

Someone has said: "When the night is at its darkest, the eye begins to see." Perhaps it was no accident that the Apostle Paul was struck blind for three days on the Damascus road ... three days a/cross. The deepest valleys of human experience contain the necessary seeds of healing, deliverance, and maturation for new stages of life and discipleship. Depressions in the ground of our existence are part of the contours of life. They contain the ingredients for experiences and insights of spiritual renewal and the life of grace and hope. To climb out of a depression means saying our farewells and discarding loads of unnecessary baggage. It requires some friends, like Ananias, to reach down and help us and it demands an open-ness to the unknown landscape ahead.

Saint John of the Cross experienced the winter of the soul as a necessary part of the journey of finding himself in God. He said: "... this depth of darkness drives us forward to the love of God." Perhaps we can only more deeply experience and contemplate the depths of God's love once we have experienced the winter of our soul as if God has abandoned us.

The Apostle Paul says to us: "... suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us." (Romans 5: 3-5).

Silence!

Ventriloquist and comedian Jeff Dunham's irreverent puppet, Ahchmed the Dead Terrorist often screams to his audience:
"Silence! I kill you!" (Sorry, but you have to have seen it).

My Mama Carter used to say, "If you don't have anything nice to say don't say it." She was a woman who actually found something redeeming to say about every one, even the town drunk when everyone else weighed in with unanimous, but not so nice commentary.

A casual glance at recent events, news stories and elsewhere is enough to prompt strong opinions and comments from anyone. Consider:

• Married former NFL star Steve McNair's murder at the hands of his 20-year old mistress.
• The bizarre stories surrounding doctors and drugs connected to Michael Jackson's death.
  
• Governor Mark Sanford's confession to an AP reporter after his "coming clean" press conference that the woman in Argentina is his "soul mate".
• Questions surrounding the lengthy arrest record of the Cherokee County serial killer and why he was even out of jail.
  
• Self-proclaimed "pitbull" Sarah Palin bailing before her term as Alaska's governor is over.
• Southern Baptists 8 motions (at their national convention) against non-Baptist, Seattle pastor and author Mark Driscoll, and more importantly the three that survived and were (I'm serious!) referred on to the boards of the denomination agencies and institutions.
• A major Senate committee holding hearings on college football's BCS system amid serious and unresolved national concerns over health care, energy, and the economy.
• Government bailed out AIG about to give out over $2 million in executive bonuses.
• Lawmakers stating with a straight face that "Cap and Trade" legislation will generate jobs and save money.
• North Korea, Iran and Honduras.
• Mean-spirited, judgmental, hyper-critical Christians.
• Single-issue obsessed churches, candidates, parties, people, etc.

How about a little Proverbs 10:19:
¹⁹ When words are many, sin is not absent,
but he who holds his tongue is wise.

Okay, guess I'll take a cue from Mama Carter and keep my mouth shut on these matters!

Where's Your Fishing Hole?

I found a new fishing hole. It's a place where I can retreat from the rat race, cast a line, sit in a lawn chair, or fish along the bank and unplug from the world. As old fishermen say, "I'd tell you where it's located, but then I'd have to kill you." Actually, it's on a piece of undeveloped property owned by a friend so I'm legal. However, I'm not sharing it with too many people.

Everyone needs a fishing hole. Whether you fish or not, you need a place where you can disappear, unplug, check out, chill, recharge your batteries and recoup. It needs to be a place where you can reflect, but you don't have to think a lot. A place where little or no demands are placed on you. A place where you don't have to worry about perception, responsibilities and your "to do" list. It may be a favorite hiking trail, golf course, park, the beach, or a spot in the woods. When I'm at the fishing hole, I don't have to worry about much of anything except what the fish are doing, and if I'm honest about it, most of the time I'm not even concerned about the fish. If I catch fish it's a bonus. Just being out there clears the cobwebs of life. Runners know what I'm talking about.

Where and when do you unplug? Summer is a great time to find a fishing hole. So grab a Pepsi, a pack of nabs, your lawn chair and find a place to wet a line. It will be medicine for your soul. Make an intentional choice to choose a path of rest on a regular basis. You'll be glad you did. Follow the lead of the ancients and the prophet Jeremiah (6:16):

¹⁶Thus says the LORD:"Stand by the roads, and look,
and ask for the ancient paths,
where the good way is; and walk in it,

and find rest for your souls.

Happy Birthday America

Happy Birthday America!

We are indeed a blessed and beautiful nation. Despite our flaws and imperfections we live in a land of abundance and beauty. Our freedoms, resources, powers and privileges are among the greatest in the world. May they always be used to to help, nurture, empower, strengthen, free, and encourage the powerless, hungry, hurting, broken, weak, and disadvantaged. With blessing comes great responsibility.

I am proud to be an American. I love my country. You don't have to tell me how messed up we are in many areas of great concern. I am fully aware that we are far from perfect and we need to improve in many areas like government, healthcare, energy, education, the economy and poverty. Among my greatest disappointments is the decline of confessing, committed Christ-followers and the fact that we now receive more missionaries than we send overseas. However, despite our flaws, for me, the positives outweigh the negatives. Sure I'd like to visit some spots around the world, but I don't want to live anywhere else. I've been privileged to travel overseas several times and while I appreciate the lands where I've been, I am always grateful to return to America. This is my homeland, my country "tis of thee"!

So fly your flag, light some sparklers, watch fireworks, and celebrate our 233rd birthday with gratitude. Let us remember the brave men and women in uniform who serve to protect our freedoms and land. And those who have paid the greatest price both recent and times past. Let us give thanks for those courageous men who had a vision for something better, freer and more nobler than anything previously when they signed and fought for our Declaration of Independence. And for those who gather on Sunday, remember we come together to worship a God whose nations are many, but few are as blessed. Again, with blessing comes great responsibility. Happy Birthday America!