You Oughta Try....

So here's just one of many conversations well-meaning, but uninformed people often make when they are trying to reach out, or connect to someone with cancer and they really don't know what else to say. This one happened today with someone I barely know, but they know I have NHL:

"So, have you ever heard of colloidal silver? My aunt takes it and it has removed all her age spots! You should look into it. It might be worth checking out."

It's as if to say without actually saying, "Hey, maybe you should try this junk on your cancer." Others are far more blatant in promoting their "all natural" suggestion as a cancer treatment, or cure. Even more absurd is the fact that most of the people who pass this Internet medicinal lore along don't partake of the very thing they are recommending you put in your body, LOL!

Never mind the total lack of credible medical research on the natural cure being promoted, or the fact that if one of them could actually cure cancer big Pharma, or a major cancer research facility would have already snagged it up. It's like this elusive cure has been hiding in the shadows and no one knows about it except for a faithful remnant of people who recommend it to their cancer-stricken friends and family. Think about it. Seriously, really, think about it!

So to date here are the cures or "cancer reducing" diets or supplements people have passed on to me of which several also happen to be on the urban myth fact checking site, www.snopes.com

• Coffee
• Lemons
• Colloidal Silver
• Wheatgrass
• Lemongrass
• Asparagus
• Vinegar
  

I know most of these come our way via well-meaning folks, but before you stop and send the latest "cure" to someone via email think about it. How would you feel if you got more than one of these a day when your life is already in the hands of some of the areas most competent minds regarding the research and treatment of cancer? That's not to say that certain vegetables, juices and vitamins aren't beneficial, especially from the damaging effects of chemo, like free radicals that can roam the body after treatment, or those that help boost an already frail immune system. I promise you that someone with cancer would rather just have you sit with them, listen, or hold them in your prayers before someone sends them another miracle diet, or cure.

So here's a suggestion from someone who has cancer. Before you send it, or recommend it to someone else you try the suggested diet subsidy, "natural/organic" treatment, or cure yourself for 6 months followed by a comprehensive medical exam and labs to determine its legitimacy.

If you have happened to pass one of these along to me thanks for your intent to help. Don't take this personally, but try to put yourself in our shoes. I'm just asking you to exercise the same kind of wisdom and restraint ALL of us should before passing anything on to someone else whether it's by text, Internet, Twitter, Facebook, etc. Do your homework because you can rest assured that those of us who have cancer are learning and reading everything we can about our particular brand of cancer. My oncologist at Wake Cancer Center said I needed to be prepared for this and that people would come out of the woodwork offering me the most outlandish cures, or diets for cancer. I laughed when she said it and had no idea the depth of truth she was speaking. Man, she absolutely nailed it! Oh yeah, she and my Greenville oncologist happen to have advanced degrees and experience in the treatment, cure and management of cancer.

Okay, so I saved the best for last. Someone actually emailed me a diet that "prevents" cancer once they knew I was diagnosed with cancer, LOL! So if you have cancer already how does a preventative cancer diet work? You just gotta laugh, it is indeed the best medicine.

Sea Sickness Feeling

My new friend is hot, ginger tea. While my chemo comes with great anti- nausea meds it still doesn't totally cover the sea sickness feeling. I'm a coffeeholic, but I've cut way back on my java since chemo and have substituted more hot teas (ginger and green). I'm trying my best to avoid things that I really enjoy while on chemo so I don't risk creating a "bad memory" with the nausea.

Yesterday I was overcome with the love of our church family as I returned for the first time since my surgery in late July and my lymphoma diagnosis. I can't express the depth of our gratitude for the love these saints and sinners have lavished on us. Meals, cards, notes, texts, phone calls, driving me to chemo and sitting with me during the drip, and much more have been the tangible hands and feet of Jesus! I remain, overwhelmed, grateful, humble and broken. Labs on Thursday should give us a good idea where my blood counts are after last week's first round.

Bald Guy Update

There's something quite funny about a nurse covered in a gown, gloves and mask pulling chemicals out of a bag marked, "biohazard" to put in your IV! It's as if to say "we can't touch this stuff but we are going to inject you with it." Ha!

Managed the Rituxan without having to stop the infusion yesterday (apparently it's a big deal that I didn't have to stop), but I made up for it once home as I had the the typical flu-like symptoms (chills, fever, headache). Felt okay this morning so we were all systems go for the C-H-O-P part of the R-CHOP regimen. It took about 4 hours. In September for my second cycle I will get it all in one day, whoopee. Tomorrow I go for a blood cell boosting shot that actually hurts the bones because it is a inflammatory that helps the bones produce bone marrow and ultimately blood. This is important because the higher the cell count the better able you are to fight off, or battle potential infections. Hopefully the alopecia (hair loss) will kick in soon because I have already had to shave my head twice since the initial shaving! Funny, when I had thinning hair I couldn't grow hair and now that I'm trying to keep it off my head I can't, lol.

Big thanks to my nurse, Lynn! She's from Western MA and has a bulldog I really want to steal. Also thanks to my friends Gladys, and Dan J., who visited me yesterday at the Cancer Center. And Dan C., who not only dropped me off this morning, but stayed for about an hour!

I thought the 100 mg. of prednesone (5 days in a row following treatment days) would have me bouncing off the walls, but so far it's not keeping me awake! Maybe the phenegran is helping with that, ha. I met a couple who are in their second battle with cancer. She beat lymphoma 6 years ago, but was diagnosed a few months ago with breast cancer! Yes, she is one tough cookie and new hero of mine. Today she was wearing what her husband called her "bad girl" wig. I couldn't even tell she had a wig on it looked so good. What a precious couple with a great sense of humor!

CANCER TIP OF THE DAY: Hard candy and mouth lozenges are your friend! Tip #2: If you know someone with cancer don't be afraid and don't avoid them because you don't know what to say. That will backfire and the person with the disease will be wondering what they've done to you to deserve the silence. Even if you don't know what to say just do what my friend Sam says: "Just be there, you don't have to say anything." He's right!

Okay so we'll see how the days that follow go. You hang in there and remember cancer can't steal love, or joy.

Romans 12:12

Let the Chemo Begin!

Wednesday we start the "R" of the R-CHOP chemo regimen. Rituxan can be pretty tough your first time, hence the 1 drug Wednesday. Thursday we get the rest, but only for this first cycle. Future cycles will mean all the chemicals in one day.

The head is shaved and the waiver or chemo risks acknowledgment has been signed. I'm aware that it may sound cheesy to some, but nonetheless, "May God be glorified through chemo!"

Let's have no cookie tossing! Romans 12:12!

Sing over Your Children by Matt Maher (with lyrics)

Zephaniah 3:17
7 The Lord your God is in your midst,
a mighty one who will save;
he will rejoice over you with gladness;
he will quiet you by his love;
he will exult over you with loud singing.

Celebrating with Joy

Congratulations to our son Casey, and Jayma who will exchange their wedding vows on Sunday! Our joy has doubled since Jayma came into our family and we are grateful to God for her! May God bless you both and may you find joy together in Christ regardless of your life circumstances. We love you!

As our families join together in support of Casey and Jayma I offer this Irish Marriage blessing:

May God be with you and bless you.
May you see your children's children.
May you be poor in misfortunes
and rich in blessings.
May you know nothing but happiness
from this day forward.

The Theology of Blessing

Laura Story's "Blessings" has really spoken to me in these days of cancer staging and prep for my upcoming chemo. Here we find the theology of suffering is embraced or at least acknowledged within God's sovereign purposes and favor that is not dependent upon human emotions and feelings! Drink in these lyrics and let God wash across your parched or tired soul. Romans 8:35-39

Staging NHL

Monday is "staging" day at Wake Forest Cancer Center. Seems like an odd term at first, but it really makes sense. The doctors have to perform several procedures to determine the stage of my cancer. So very early Monday morning I will head to WFUBMC-North Carolina Baptist Hospital and undergo the following:

PET Scan
Echo cardiogram
Port-o-cath placement
Bone Marrow Biopsy (both sides)

All of this helps the oncologist/hematologist identify the exact type of lymphoma, how far it has spread (lymphatic system, other organs, bone marrow, etc.) and the stage so they can personalize the treatment plan. This will help them determine the right chemo and the number of cycles I will have to receive.

So we would really appreciate any and all prayers for Marathon Monday. As they say backstage: "Break a leg!" For the non-thespians that's a good thing!

We continue to cling to Jesus through Scripture, songs, art, friends, etc. Here's a favorite from the late soul poet, Rich Mullins:

Well, sometimes my life
Just don't make sense at all
When the mountains look so big
And my faith just seems so small

CHORUS:
So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It's so hot inside my soul
I swear there must be blisters on my heart

CHORUS

Surrender don't come natural to me
I'd rather fight You for something
I don't really want
Than to take what You give that I need
And I've beat my head against so many walls
Now I'm falling down, I'm falling on my knees

And this Salvation Army band
Is playing this hymn
And Your grace rings out so deep
It makes my resistance seem so thin

CHORUS

You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

Now cancer doesn't seem so big does it!

Word Power

Look closely at the picture to your left. You will never see this green "Partner" apron at your local Starbucks. There's not another one like it in the world. Several of the managers, assistant's and partners at the Greenville area Starbucks' signed it with well wishes for my upcoming cancer treatment.

While I frequent one particular Starbucks, over the years I have enjoyed coffee and conversation at every store in our city based on my travel route, or schedule on a particular day. A big thank you to Chris, the DM who got this together for me! I wouldn't take anything for this apron but not because of its corporate logo. You see I cherish the prayers, well wishes and words of support and their accompanying signatures even more.

Words are powerful. They can injure, tear down, build up, encourage, help, heal or hurt. We use thousands of words in the course of a day and most of the time we forget a lot of what we say, or communicate to others. However, when you are on the receiving end of some complimentary, well-wishing, or encouraging words they tend to stick with you. Someone takes the time to touch your soul whether they realize it or not, we do. Since I entered my first Starbucks 20+ years ago in Chicago, I can never remember a time when I wasn't greeted with a smile, or a word of welcome! And trust me that's a lot of Starbucks from San Diego to Phoenix;Louisville; Cincinatti; Hilton Head; Jacksonville;Orlando; Indy; Gaffney; the Bahamas (for real!); London, Kentucky and many more. Oh sure I've come across some who've had a tough day, but somehow they manage to rise above it and offer some kind of greeting. Someone has set the tone for this intentional corporate culture and the church needs to follow.

Our words take on meaning to others, which is why I shudder when I think of the thousands of words I've carelessly spoken over the years. Words of judgment, criticism or cynicism that I regret. But positive words are something we never regret. We need to be more intentional about the words we use with others. Speaking joy-filled, empowering, or encouraging words to one another is something we need to cultivate and practice. Anyone can speak words of anger, destruction, and judgment. They require little thought and usually come at an impulse. However, we have to make a conscious effort to speak positively toward others. In other words (no pun intended) we have to think intentionally about speaking positively to others. Given the level of anger, frustration, depression and skepticism in our culture I think we are desperate for the words like the ones on my Starbucks apron!

Who do you need to encourage? Who can you lift up, lighten their load and heal with words of comfort? How many times a day do our words cut, belittle, or put others down? We never fully know what people are facing or dealing with when we go about our day. Some are carrying very heavy loads like divorce, aging parents, finances, a strained relationship, job conflict/stress, health challenges, or an angry neighbor. What if we made a conscious effort to offer strong, helpful words even when we are tempted to do otherwise? It just might change our world, or at least our corner. I am going to work harder at encouraging others and a local cancer center is a great place to start!

James reminded us the power of words in James 3:5-10 {emphasis added}:
5 So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! 6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. 7 For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, 8 but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 9 With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. 10 From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. 11 Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? 12 Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water.

Thank you to the Partners that staff Greenville's Starbucks! You put up with a challenging public as you provide the fuel for our addiction. A special thanks to Jenn and the Augusta Street store crew, you make me laugh and always lighten my load. And that is quite a gift.

Life On Hold Part 2!

We head to the Comprehensive Cancer Center of Wake Forest University Medical School on Tuesday to see the oncologist/hematologist I saw in 2009. The pathology has confirmed non-Hodgkins, Large B-cell Lymphoma. Praising God that we finally know what we are facing. Ready to get started on what is bound to be a long journey, but remember, God is a marathoner not a sprinter!