The Christmas Pig

So our crazy elders and friends came up with this Christmas gift when we had our annual "White Elephant" gift exchange earlier this month. The "Christmas Pig," or "Piggy," as she's called has been making the rounds in Greenville and getting her picture taken everywhere she goes. Then we text the pics to our friends who were in on the original gift exchange.

When you pinch her ear Piggy starts to dance and begins to sing, "Said the night wind to the little lamb, 'Do you see what I see what I see...." The lyrics are followed by several pig snorts that can be confused with other bodily sounds.

Today, Piggy was on the accelerator for my last radiation treatment! Well, she wasn't on it when I was zapped (can't have baked ham yet!), but she hopped on the table afterward, and then as you can see made it to Starbucks for a skinny latte as she is watching her weight. She even made it to the hospital to visit a friend in pre-op, but sorry, no picture!

Okay, so it's weird, I know. But what a gift to have friends who know how to laugh and to finish cancer treatments before the new year! All praise and glory to God. Now we begin the long road of periodic scans, labs and check-ups to keep a vigilant eye on cancer. All glory to God for the past, present and whatever the future holds. Happy New Year!

Reconciliation

Reconciliation is difficult to practice in a self-absorbed, self-consumed and self-important culture. It is counter-cultural. It means I don’t get to hold on to my anger, or the desire to punish someone for being wronged/hurt. It can also mean that despite my actions I don’t get what I deserve.

It’s difficult to practice because it requires humility, unconditional love, and mercy. When we have been wronged, hurt, betrayed, wounded, or, disappointed it is the last thing on our mind. Heck, when people disagree with us, or hold a minority view with which we disagree, we are often ready to dismiss them simply because they hold a different view. Forget trying to even understand, or reconcile our differences.

At the heart of reconciliation is the idea of restoration. Restoring those who have been the source of pain is not very popular in a society that’s always looking out for #1. We restore, or “make things right”. Whether we are seeking reconciliation, or being asked to reconcile with someone the response isn’t optional for Christ-followers. We are the beneficiaries of heaven’s reconciliatory work through Christ:

10 For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. (Rom. 5:10)

20 and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross.

21 And you, who once were alienated and hostile in mind, doing evil deeds, 22 he has now reconciled in his body of flesh by his death, in order to present you holy and blameless and above reproach before him, (Col. 1:20-21)

When we said, “Yes!” to Jesus we acknowledged His reconciling work between God and us, and we accepted the call to go and do likewise. We who are “in Christ” have no excuse from the personal responsibility to be reconciler’s in the world:

18 All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; 19 that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. 20 Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. 21 For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. (2 Cor. 5:18ff)

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32)

Reconciliation seems to come hardest within marriages, family, work and friends. Maybe it’s because those are among our most intimate relationships and we know so much about each other. However, if you stop and think about it that’s exactly where reconciliation ought to begin. The practice of unconditional love and forgiveness should be present within marriage and family following the pattern of Christ’s reconciling work with the church (Eph. 5) and thereby becoming the foundational model for the rest of our relationships.

Next to Holy Week, Christmas should press all of us who call Christ, "Lord," into loving others unconditionally simply and only because that's what God has done for us through Christ. And to think it all began with the birth of a baby in a borrowed feeding trough. Now that’s preposterous! And so is reconciliation in a 21^st century world. Imagine what our world and relationships would look like if we really practiced the reconciliation we so desperately need and desire from God in Christ with others? It would be a game-changer! Thanks be to God for His gift of reconciliation through the babe of Bethlehem. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

INCARNATION Wordle

Nativity Reflections & 21st Century Ponderings

Elizabeth didn't join the naysayer's at the news of Mary's holy conception. She rejoiced in God's work....

Do we?

Mary never waivered....

Do we?

Mary pondered....

Do we?

Mary treasured up the birth of the Gospel "all these things" in her heart....

Do we?

The Shepherds heard God through His messengers and obeyed.....

When we hear from God do we obey?

Magi traveled a great distance to see the babe...

How far are we willing to go for Christ?

Shepherds couldn't help but praise God for all they had seen and heard....

Are we still as passionate about the Gospel story or has it grown old?

Magi shared precious gifts of their era with God's Son....

Do we share precious gifts of our era with Jesus, or leftovers?

No one gave up their room in the Inn for Christ.

Would we?

Joseph was indeed human, but he didn't flinch in his obedience.

Do I second-guess God, or am I as resolved in my obedience?

There certainly is a lot to ponder! Hail the incarnate deity!

No Mr. Holloway You Are Student Athletes!

College basketball showed it's ugly side Saturday in Cincinnati in the annual grudge match between U.C. and Xavier. Xavier was blowing out the Bearcats and in the final seconds things turned very ugly. Two Xavier players, Dezmine Wells and star player, Tu Holloway shoved Bearcat's player Ge'Lawn Guyn to the floor. That prompted a fight and bench clearing that ended with officials calling the game with time left on the clock. NJ Star-Ledger Sportswriter Brendan Prunty paints the picture:

In the ensuing melee, several players on both sides were seen swinging punches as the benches cleared. Television replays showed Cincinnati center Yancy Gates punch Xavier's Kenny Frease in the face and take a swing at another player who had come off of the Musketeers' bench.

After being struck, Frease staggered to the floor only to come up bleeding heavily from the left side of his face.

"That’s what you’re going to see from Xavier and Cincinnati," Holloway said after the game. "We got disrespected a little bit before the game, guys calling us out. We’re a tougher team. We’re grown men over here. We’ve got a whole bunch of gangsters in the locker room—not thugs, but tough guys on the court. And we went out there and zipped them up at the end of the game."

No Mr. Holloway, you are a student athlete. You are not "gangsters"! Your logic is flawed and your immaturity is glaring. You are not grown men. Grown men do not behave this way. Perhaps you should read up about the greats of your game who paved the way for you and other current players who enjoy the privileges of an NCAA Division 1 basketball scholarship. People like John Wooden, Bill Russell, Dean Smith, Henry Iba, Tony Hinkle, Pete Maravich, Magic Johnson, and Larry Bird. I think you will find that your definition of great players and sportsmanship is totally opposite of what they accomplished in the days before "one and done", and pampered student athletes. Your attitude and words are the exact reason why the word, "thug" (your word not mine) is so appropriate. Thugs throw punches. Thugs talk about being "disrespected", spew verbal trash and think that Tweeting your feelings is more important than shaking the hand of your opponent after a hard fought game, win or lose! Mr. Holloway your brand of basketball is not mine. Let your words be spoken on the court. Learn to treat your opponent with respect even in the face of a loss. And by all means please learn how to win with grace and humility because at the end of the day there is always someone better than you, or me on the court, in the work place, and life.

I Believe I Failed Her

Most cancer patients and caregivers have a pretty good handle on living one day at a time. However, there are a few who are so focused on the negatives that they can't remain open to hope. I'm not saying they are right or wrong. Everyone battling this, or any other disease has to decide for themselves how they will act, or react. If you are naturally positive, or optimistic you will most likely choose hope, or even joy. If you are a "glass is half empty," or skeptical type you will probably choose to doubt or mute any positives. But the point is that we have a choice in how we are going to act!

Recently I observed a woman waiting on her husband while he was being treated. I saw her 3-4 times as I waited on my own treatment. As patients talked about their brand of cancer, side effects, and treatment plans with hope, or confidence she would always counter that her husband's is not "curable" in a sad, almost morose tone. I can't imagine the load she is carrying but as a fellow cancer patient I can say that her husband needs hope, confidence and joy. I'm not suggesting we deny the truth, but medical professionals, counselors and social workers repeatedly stress the importance of a positive attitude in chronic medical battles.

Several times I attempted to offer suggestions of things that may help them in the battle like available support groups and resources through the American Cancer Society, but each time she countered with an excuse that seemed to say, "I'd rather sulk and be hopeless than find anything positive in all of this." Keep in mind she didn't say that, but it was communicated because one of the patients made a remark to that effect after she left.

Now before you agree, or disagree with me hear me out. I couldn't help but think to myself, "Where is their pastor, small group, or Sunday School class support?" Maybe they've tried and found the same response, or maybe they don't have one! More troubling to me was the self-indictment of my own silence. Why didn't I offer to pray with her before, or after my treatment? Why didn't I pull her aside and give her my phone number and tell her to call me, or my wife to cry, vent, or just share?

This battle is too hard to go it alone. It's too relentless to attempt to think we can fight it without the help of others. Left alone with this disease, I would probably grow mad, depressed, or angry. I understand part of what she's dealing as I watch my spouse play the caregiver role with hope, confidence and joy despite the "down days", or periodic setbacks. Yet, she chooses hope. She chooses hope because she is one of the most prayer-saturated people I know. Her faith in God is greater than her fear of this (can I say it without offense?) damned disease!

Who is the person, couple or family in your world facing a similar battle? How have you responded? They need more than one meal, a cake, funny email, or card. Some of us are blessed to have many people like this in our lives offering words and expressions of hope. But you may be the only one in someone else's life. Let me encourage you to stay the course with them and keep in mind it's a long trip. Even if you are worried that you may be bothering them, continue to keep up the support, conversation and love. Trust me, they will tell you if it's too much.

In my own experience, a good friend and woman in our church sent me a card every single week of my chemo. Nearly all of them were hilarious and they usually arrived right after my chemo that week. I got to where I looked forward to go to the mailbox just to see what she had for that week. She has no idea how much of a difference that one little act of love made in my life, not to mention the many acts of others who were just as faithful in different ways. My point is simple, we all need help on this journey of life. Some will be harder than others to help, but God has called us to walk alongside the broken, wounded, sick, imprisoned and hungry. I feel as though I failed this woman regardless of her perceived melancholy affect. I also felt extremely fortunate and grateful to be a cancer patient who is surrounded by people who love and care for me unconditionally.

1 John 4:7-12 is a great reminder to those of us who walk by faith:

⁷Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. ⁸ Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. ⁹In this the love of God was made manifest among us, thatGod sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. ¹⁰In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. ¹¹Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. ¹² No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.

God help us to walk in love!

God Help Her!

I don't even know the little girl in her jammies who was awaiting radiation after my treatment today. She was waiting with her grandmother who continually offered positive words of great love.

Her bald chemo head was covered with a beautiful purple sock cap. Her big brown eyes were filled with the fatigue of battling this dreadful disease. Yet, there was hope in her eyes.

I have to be honest. I could barely get in the stall to change into my clothes before shedding a tear. And by the time I got to my car I couldn't stop crying. God help the innocents who battle this dreadful disease. I'm more than halfway through this mortal life, but she has just begun. She couldn't have been more than 6 or 7 years old. And yet, there she sat, awaiting another treatment.

"Lord, today I humbly ask that you heal this little angel from heaven. Touch her body. Bring healing, comfort and strength. I confess that I don't understand why the innocents suffer, but I trust You, and I accept Your sovereign will. Grant her peace and a long life. Give her grandparents and parents energy, strength and grace as they continue to accompany her in this battle! Hold her as Jesus did when he chastised the disciples for keeping the children from coming to Him. Grant favor upon her little heart and life in Jesus name, Amen."

Punitive Silence

Abraham Lincoln said, "To sin by silence makes cowards of men." Mr. President, I think you spoke truth far beyond your term and years when you made that observation. Think about it. How often do you and I remain silent when we should speak up? Think of the many issues of social injustice, prejudice, and alienation we choose to ignore, turn a blind eye toward, or fail to speak up for those who can't. What about our simple inability to speak up and weigh in on an issue, or cutting remark by someone toward someone else?

When I read this quote by Lincoln, I'm reminded of all the kids in high school who were picked on, or made fun of that I failed to speak up/out on their behalf. Instead of speaking up for the "fat" kid, the "geek", or the "jock", I chose (more often than not) to remain silent and by choosing silence it was assumed I agreed with the sentiment, or sarcasm being leveled. May God forgive my silence!

Families can be punitive with silence as well. Husbands and wives can go for days without speaking and punishing each other over something they can barely remember, or something that doesn't really matter in the big picture of life. Siblings can punish one another with silence as well. We can disagree and take everything so personally that we fail to see the person we really know beyond the slight, or dig that prompted our silence. We punish by cutting off contact and essentially retaliate for the perceived slight or hurt that's been done to us. Churches can do it too. Leaders can punish those who appear to be disengaged, or aloof from the fold for real, or unrealistic reasons. Bosses can punish employees with silence because they disagree with the employees' performance, or opinion on a specific issue, or project.

At 50, I've come to a place in life where I have little use for these mind games. And at the end of the day that's exactly what they are, mind games. Tit for tat. Eye for an eye. It's especially troubling when Christ-followers engage in this behavior. Whatever happened to the Scriptural admonition to "speak the truth in love"? Or better yet to be reconcilers?

Conversation and communication ALWAYS opens the door to clarification and understanding. Assumption is a deadly game. When I choose silence in response to someone with whom I disagree, or perceive to know their motives and essentially judge their heart I am left holding a bag that's way too big. Bottomline: Presumption of another's heart/motives is above my pay grade!

Silence is appropriate when we are angry, or don't know what to say. But at some point we've got to let go, or else we'll nurse a root of bitterness that can often be ruled by perception instead of reality. There's a great parable Jesus tells in Matthew 18 about a man who let an issue take root in his life that birthed a spirit of bitterness and an unwillingness to forgive.

My friend, Craig Loscalzo often says, "You never regret extending grace!" Frankly, I have trouble practicing that as much as I should. If I'm not careful, I can get to a point where I actually enjoy inflicting the punishment of silence. To be honest, I'm too old for it. My life is more than half over and I don't want to go out sulking, withdrawing in aloofness, or hurting others based on perceptions (real or not) that I am unwilling to address.

God help me to be more forthcoming and willing to speak the truth in love! Is there someone you've punished with silence? Give them a call, email, drop them a note and be honest. But be open to hearing their side of the issue. Who know's, we might just be surprised that they weren't even aware of the "perceived" pain they've caused.

¹⁵ Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. (Ephesians 4:15)