Church Dragons

Leadership Journal (a trade magazine for those in ministry) editor, Marshall Shelly wrote a timeless book for church leaders many years ago. The book is entitled, Well Intentioned Dragons. The book was given to me by a veteran couple in ministry upon my ordination 20 years ago. It is among some annual favorite reads of mine like Tozer's "Knowing God", Piper's "Desiring God" and "Mere Christianity" by C.S. Lewis. It is not a weighty theological work. However, it is an extremely practical book for those in ministry who regularly face well-intentioned dragons. My friends knew it would just be a matter of time before I faced my first dragon. I've yet to serve a church, or in a ministry that did not have at least one dragon. I've shared these before, but ran across them again while doing research on a particular dragon and thought I should share them again.

Wanna know more about the dragons? Shelly identifies around 10, but there are more. For the tenured Christ-followers and church members among us see if you recognize any of these:

• The Bird Dog-Always points out things ministers should focus on, or address. They complain a lot and few of them ever offer to be part of a solution. The rarer breed of Superspiritual Bird Dog couches everything in spiritual terms and often leaves those in ministry defensive. Their criticism is usually caustic but veiled in spiritual language so it never comes off quite as an attack of complete arrogance. Superspiritual Bird Dog's always have to comment, or offer their opinion and they never seek spiritual help or advice.
• The Wet Blanket-"We've always done it this way," is there motto. They complain and drain the very life out of leaders. They want things to stay the same. Change rattles their security. Their disposition is like the Pooh character, Eyeore. This dragon is downright negative. You wonder if they have ever experienced pure joy.
• Captain Bluster-All the subtleness of a Bulldog puppy. He's right and everyone else is wrong. Don't try and teach new concepts or even challenge. Disagreement is not only viewed as division and disunity, but outright threat. Loud and loves to share her/his views in public settings so many people can hear. Shelly says, "This kind of a person is a steamroller who flattens anyone in hhis way with his overwhelming certainty that his is the only way to do it."
• The Entrepreneur-You can't turn him/her off. Always eager to meet new people, greet, and serve. Especialky in hospitality because they are always searching for their next sales call. Whether it's vitamins, long distance phone service, or a network purchasing club, they see church members and attenders as potential clients. This dragon will turn people off. Most will simply run and never return.
• The Fickle Financier-Always uses money/finances to influence decisions and register his/her approval or disapproval. Pastors salaries and benefits are especially on their radar. The spiritual temperature of the congregation can be through the roof, but if giving is behind budget someone will be getting a call. They either give a lot, which convinces them they should decide where all of it goes, or they actually give none to little, but talk a good line. Those with money like to throw their weight around and all of them have control issues.
• The BusyBody-Need I explain? This person enjoys telling others how to do their jobs and has the scoop on every one else. He/she is just looking for an eager ear to unload a juicy tidbit. This is perhaps one of the most dangerous dragons of all.
• The Sniper-An artist at picking off pastors and leaders without ever meeting them face to face. Favorite position is the "behind the back" attack. Has never read Matthew 18:15ff. Potshots and negative remarks, sometimes veiled in spiritual language is an artform for these dragons. They love everything about conflict except facing it. Combine this dragon with one who has BusyBody characteristics and you've got an Rx for congregational cancer.
• The Legalist-Catches every jot and tittle, as well as typos in church publications, websites and song slides. Is a legal beagle, or stickler for processes to the extreme. They live on absolutes but the list is rarely applied to themselves. They cite the church by-laws and Roberts Rules of Order more than they do Jesus, or Scripture. To watch them in action you wonder how God ever birthed and moved His church without a committee, or 27-page vision plan and six month process that rarely has prayer among its agenda.

Shelly says you can't identify dragons by their appearance, or simply by listening to them. "The distinguishing characteristic of a dragon is not what is said but how it's said." They are often adversarial or combative and rarely see the "big picture" because they choose to focus on single issues, or chase rabbits. Shelly notes they are quick to criticize and slow to apologize. They rarely seek forgiveness because they would never view themselves as doing anything wrong. Dragons can quickly become clergy killers. One dragon is usually not a problem, or deal maker for those contemplating bailing on their current ministry. It's the accumulative affect and toll their fire takes over the years of dealing with many dragons.

Dragons destroy excitement and joy. They drain the life out of you and sidetrack your purpose and mission. They sap strength and energy from the Body. Most of the time dragons are people in deep pain, or living conflicted lives. For many these issues stem from childhood, their parents, or some source of pain, or dysfunction. Dragons are among the most difficult people to love. But loving them is not optional. In fact, I believe it's foundational.

Dragons need help, encouragement, truth spoken in love and leaders with backbone. Fortunately, our elders wear asbestos clothing, have and will confront dragons when necessary. I've seen reformed dragons become incredible forces for Christ and the church. I've also watched many a dragon slip off into caves of misery, depression, or uncontrolled anger. Sometimes their attacks are personal and other times they have nothing to do with you specifically, but what the leader represents. I have also found that most of the time when a dragon blows its fire on a leader, it usually does not personally know the leader and makes assumptions, or jumps to conclusions that just aren't true. One dragon in a very large church where I served routinely attacked our pastor as not being personal. Nothing could have been further from the truth. But when I peeled back the layers I discovered the dragon really didn't know our pastor.

If you've got a dragon in your life (they aren't confined to churches) whether it's at work, family, your child's little league team, band boosters, or your neighborhood, remember to live biblically. In other words, don't let the dragon dictate how you are going to respond to their fire-belching attacks. He/she can't control how we choose to respond. Shelly is spot on when he quotes Jonathan Edwards, "Resolved: that all men should live for the glory of God. Resolved second: that whether others do or not, I will."

Got a dragon in your life?

• pray for them,
  
• tell God about it and ask for His wisdom and advice
  
• practice speaking the truth in love
• never meet alone with a a dragon and document all communication
• if possible get to know them better and vice versa
  
• You are responsible for your response but NOT their words and actions
  
• You can't "fix" them, only God can
• Know when you are tired, cranky or vulnerable and susceptible to a dragon attack
• Read about them, or their personality type in leadership and organizational culture books, articles, and websites----do your homework

Finally, and often the most difficult, but Christ-honoring:

• love them unconditionally while practicing biblical forgiveness and reconciliation
  

And remember, unconditional love does not mean the validation and tacit approval of sinful behavior. Or the blind, unchallenged acceptance of personal attacks. Leaders are not called to be a doormat, but God does expect us to model humility.