Blog Break

30 Day Blog Break

Time to break the weekly rhythm of deadlines. Time to feed the mind, body and soul with a much needed break in the routine. I'm taking a blog break. See you in mid-October.

Questions or thoughts for Christ-followers like me to consider during the break:

• How can we exalt the Savior and build-up His church in practical ways? What would it really look like in a faith community? How would it affect our speech, relationships and actions? How would it change the world (our local community) in which we live?
  

• What would it look like if we really practiced the biblical concept and mandate of reconciliation? Would we lower our guard, bear our souls and practice unconditional love toward others, especially those with whom we disagree? Would we learn how to practice biblical forgiveness and restoration?
  

• What would it look like if we spoke the truth in love and didn't avoid the hard conversations simply to "keep the peace and be liked"? Of course if we are going to speak truth in love we must be willing to receive it too.

• Have we forgotten the value of confession, repentance, forgiveness and restoration?

• How can we practice grace in our daily world?
  

Sunday Evening Reflections

(Ron Dicianni's "The Servant")

I'm sure some will disagree, but these are simply my thoughts and reflections as an adult PK and 20 years of personal pastoral experience.

10 Pastoral Myths

1. Pastors can read minds
2. Pastors are loved by everyone
3. Pastors love it when people whine and complain
4. Pastors can fix a bad marriage, or wayward children
5. Pastors love unrealistic expectations
6. Pastors have Teflon hearts and feelings
7. Pastors best time to talk is right before, or after a worship service
8. Pastors have perfect children and a perfect marriage
9. Pastors are holier and just short of perfection
10. Pastors can work 24/7, 365 and rarely need a break/vacation

I love pastors, but trust me, they are all too human. They get tired, frustrated, and nervous. They are harder on themselves than most people realize and most of them really do want people to like them, but they know they are not called to be popular. They often feel inadequate and unworthy. They have as many bosses as church members. Even model pastor's can't walk on water. Like anyone else, they need to be encouraged and loved for who they are not what they do. They would rather have people be authentic instead of trying to be something they aren't, or saying what they think the pastor wants to hear. They are often some of the loneliest people I know.

Most of them were busy doing something else when God called them to a life of service. Many of them are incredibly insecure despite outward appearances. They genuinely love people and want to encourage others. They love Jesus and are at their best when people are coming to Christ, or growing in their faith. Like Peter and Paul, no two pastor's are the same, despite the goal of some well-intended but sorely misguided members who try to continually compare their current pastor with the previous one. There's never enough time for study and prayer and they always feel as though they could have done more in conflict, counseling and leading. They live in a fishbowl. If they are going to survive the long haul they need a great sense of humor. They know they are not God and don't want to be. They need friends outside of the church and time away to refuel, renew and replenish. Over the years they carry thousands of worries, troubles, heartaches and secret pains of people who have shared with them in confidence. Many work all the time because they are desperately seeking the approval of God and their members.

Pastors are a special group to me, even those with whom I disagree. May God bless every one of you and may He give you the freedom to be yourselves, a realistic sense of humor, and encourage you as much as you have encouraged others. You are making a difference and He chose you! Now that's incredibly humbling and special. Thank you pastors for all you do and may God touch your spouse and children with His wings of love!

Cultural Commens, Musings & Observations

Frightening: Last weekend’s gas line explosion in northern California and the revelation that it could happen again due to aging, vulnerable pipes across the country.

Draining: The continual parade of investigations and scandals in collegiate sports by the NCAA. There has been an sizeable shift from the NCAA helping athletes, schools and coaches to a vigilante mentality over a free lunch, or flight home for the funeral of a loved one. Yes, there are some bad eggs out there playing, prowling the sidelines with headsets and rogue boosters, but compliance with the ever changing and often extreme rules has gotten ridiculous.

Annoying: When a student, or woman young enough to be your daughter is taking your order or the cashier checking you out refers to you as: honey, babe, sweetheart, baby, precious or sug. I’m sure they don’t even realize they are saying it but it’s not flattering. Yuck!

Refreshing: The admission by Tennessee head basketball coach, Bruce Pearl that he lied and tried to cover up the truth to NCAA investigators and accepting $1.5 million dollars in fines by UT athletic officials. Finally, a coach is accountable before riding a parachute to the next school or the NBA. Kudos to Coach Pearl for his painful, public admission. Oily coaches should take note. Tennessee has set a precedent for schools in the future!

Enough: The ad nauseam and endless run of BP “back-slapping” television commercials reminding us what good corporate citizens they are and that they are still on the job in the Gulf.

Enough Already: The increasing wave of cheesy and staged SC gubernatorial television commercials. How about some creativity? Is it November 3rd yet?

Headache: The recent decision by the Philadelphia Eagles to put two players with concussions back on the field. And both failed to pass tests to clear them three days after the game in question! You haven’t heard the last of this one. Before we’re done there will be a Congressional hearing on head injuries in the NFL and college football. Minimally the NFL players union is going to have something to say about it.

Fascinating: “Sports Science” FSN's Emmy award-winning tv series hosted by John Brenkus that examines the physics, biology, and physiology behind sports. You Tube the title for a sneak peek.

Depressing: Foreclosures and unemployment rates jumped higher in the latest release of numbers.

Hopeful: Come quickly, Lord Jesus!

Punitives: Mishaving Badly

"I'm going to take my toys and go home," is a phrase we associate with spoiled children. The phrase usually accompanies an event, or follows a temper tantrum because the child didn't get his/her way. I would bet that all of us can remember a similar incident from our formative years. Hopefully the memory isn't a personal testimony! Unfortunately these children grow into adults. I call the adults "punitives".

You would think as adults we grow out of the spoiled, temper-tantrum, pouting prone antics of childhood, but some people don't. All of us know someone who has made a scene, or pouted because they didn't get their way at work, socially, at church, or within a family. There are two primary, punitive tactics used by this tribe:

• Sulking, retreat and withdrawal. The intent here is to punish with silence, or inactivity. The reasoning works like this: "I'm not getting my way so I'm going to disengage." "My idea wasn't used by the group so I'm not going to participate until it is." Best response to this tactic? Ignore it and don't validate it. Then at the appropriate time speak the truth in love.
  

• Temper-tantrums. These are usually done in public in an effort to gain support for his/her cause. Unfortunately temper tantrums alienate the very people we are trying to convince of our position. No one wants to hang out with a whiner. Typically the group will turn on the "punitive" instead of taking his/her side. Best response to this tactic: Draw a strong boundary and let them know that this dysfunctional, punitive behavior will not be tolerated. Be prepared to move without them too. Remember, each person is responsible for his/her behavior. You don't have to answer for their actions, but you are responsible for your response!
  

As children, punitives were known as "cry babies," "whiner's," and "spoiled sports". As adults they are irresponsible, shallow, immature and self-centered. Think about it. When I pull out of my neighborhood association study committee because they didn't adopt my suggestion, I reveal that I was only committed to the group as long as I got my way. I failed to pull my wait. It's irresponsible. Sports teams, companies, civic organizations and even churches know the pain and frustration such personalities can cause.

Punitives rarely see their behavior for what it is. It's like a self-inflicted gunshot wound. The person who loses the most is the one engaging in the childish behavior. She/he loses the joy that comes from being part of something larger than self. They miss out on the natural camaraderie and shared strength teams/groups produce. She/he loses respect among their team, peers and neighbors. They also lose trust, something that's vital to organizational culture. Who wants to trust and confide in someone who continually threatens the larger group with potential punitive behavior? Teams and groups need to know that everyone is committed to the greater goal, or mission. If not, they will become suspect, and never let down their guard (transparency) with the punitive person. This creates a false relationship absent of trust.

Tactics, attitudes and actions like this are simply emotional blackmail and manipulation. Like a spoiled child adults who engage in this behavior are enabled when everyone around them caves into their actions in order to avoid a blowup, or big stink. Look back far enough and you will probably find that their parents enabled them instead of using some form of discipline. This behavior is learned at an early age.

Churches should be the last place to allow punitive behavior. It's not biblical. However, churches can be famous for enabling, or promoting dysfunctional behavior for fear of "judging" another member/follower. The church road is littered with the bodies of members, small group leaders, pastors, deacons and elders who have fallen victim to this kind of personality. Punitives thrive when they get there way. They hold groups, churches, teams and boards hostage.

I don't recall when it happened but at some point during my 20 years of pastoral ministry I realized that I wasn't going to "get my way" all the time. I knew that a long time ago, but I don't think I really believed it. Even if I was justified, or had pure motives, I had to learn that God's way is better. And His way often involves sacrifice, pain, and self-denial. However, when you realize that punitive behavior robs God of His glory, it knocks you to your knees. Or it should. And when we are on our knees we are in the right position to hear what God wants, which may very well be the polar opposite of what you had in mind. Newsflash: God got by just fine without us before we were born and He will continue when we are gone.

We can avoid this dysfunctional behavior by staying humble, on our knees and making sure everything we do brings glory to God and builds up the church. Now that's a good place to start. We can ask ourselves: how is my attitude/actions bringing glory to God and building up His church? And now the kicker, respond with great love and forgiveness for those those who realize they have been excluding God by pursuing their own agenda. It's a rude awakening and a humbling one. I know from personal experiencing.

Philippians 2:1-11 is a healthy reminder for all of us that even Jesus pursued His father's agenda. It's a path worthy of following.

Can't We All Just Get Along

The Central Florida pastor who started a global firestorm with a scheduled Qur'an burning has wisely decided not to hold the event. Whatever the reason this is the right thing to do!

According to the story on VOA:

The leader of a small U.S. Christian church says he has called off his plan to burn copies of the Quran on Saturday.

The Reverand Terry Jones said Thursday he called off his protest because he had reached an agreement with Muslim leaders to move the controversial location of a planned Islamic cultural center and mosque in New York. He said the mosque would be moved away from the site of the Sept. 11, 2001 attacks on the United States.

A local Muslim cleric who appeared with Jones to make the announcement said he would be traveling to New York to discuss the proposed mosque. But officials connected with the New York mosque project said there was no agreement to move the location.

Jones said moving the planned Islamic cultural center in New York would accomplish his church's goals because, he said, "the American people do not want the mosque at the ground zero location."

Jones heads the small Dove World Outreach Center church in Gainesville, Florida.

U.S. President Barack Obama and other U.S. and international political and religious leaders have spoken out against the plans to burn copies of the Quran. President Obama said publicly burning the Quran would be a destructive and dangerous act. He called the minister's plan an attention-seeking "stunt" that could endanger U.S. troops, but said it is a valid exercise of free-speech rights under the U.S. legal system.

If Rev. Jones has pulled the plug on a potentially disastrous public display of profound disrespect, it would seem wise if NYC imam, Feisal Abdul Rauf would seriously reconsider building his proposed mosque within blocks of the 911 site. Yes, both of these men have a Constitutional right to proceed, but wisdom and common sense would seem to call for alternatives that would command mutual respect. Come, let us reason together.

Not My Jesus!

Pastor Terry Jones of Gainesville, Florida does not represent my Jesus. My Jesus never counseled hostile actions toward those with whom we disagree. He never advocated acts of hate, prejudice of any type, or anything but unconditional love, especially for sinners.

Jones and his church, Dove World Outreach Center have planned a public burning of the Qur'an on Saturday, the anniversary of the September 11th terrorist bombings on U.S. soil. This is nothing but organized hate. This is not what my Jesus ever counseled or modeled. This is beyond anger. It's beyond venting frustration with the extreme, fringe elements of fundamental Islam. It is however, generating a lot of media coverage for the pastor and his church. Hmmmmmmm.

This is no way to communicate the heart of the Gospel, which all Christ-followers are called and commanded to share with the world. This is in direct conflict with Jesus admonition to "love your enemies," and to "bless those who persecute you." Would to God that Christ-followers would be united in their contempt for any form of terrorism, hate, racial, religious and gender prejudice.

Jesus couldn't have been clearer when he said:

27 “But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. 29 To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. 30 Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. 31 And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them. Luke 6:27-30

Pit People

Sunday we explored Psalm 40 in worship.

It is a personal lament that includes a song of thanksgiving. Several praise songs use literal portions of this psalm in their lyrics. You can see them in the first three verses:

40:1 I waited patiently for the Lord;
he inclined to me and heard my cry.
2 He drew me up from the pit of destruction,
out of the miry bog,
and set my feet upon a rock,
making my steps secure.
3 He put a new song in my mouth,
a song of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear,
and put their trust in the Lord.

Being in a "pit" is a common expression in the Old Testament. It conjurs up the image of being in an empty cistern, or well that is covered with mud and mire at the bottom. In Jeremiah's case it was a literal pit (see Jeremiah 38). When you are in a pit, you are in a place that requires help. You can't get out by yourself, it's too deep, plus the mud, muck and mire hold you down like glue. Sometimes we end up in a pit because of personal sin (as is the case in Ps. 40, see verse 12) and other times its through no fault of our own, or circumstances beyond our control. Regardless of how we got there, one thing is common about being in a life pit: you want to get out! Or do we?

The psalmist cried out to God for rescue from his pit. He knew only God could save him from sinking deeper and deeper. But unlike the psalmist some of us have become comfortable in our pits. It's as if we wear the pit of life as a badge of courage. We have discovered that being in a pit evokes sympathy, or pity from others. Staying in the pit allows us to focus on the negatives of life. It's dark, dreary and hopeless. Despite our knowledge of God as rescuer, we choose to remain in the pit and complain. We mumble and gripe. Pretty soon no one wants to be around us, except for those who are just like us, our fellow Pit People. We are incapable of singing because the joy of rescue is no longer a fresh experience, or memory for us. It's hard to recall the grace and favor of God when you choose to focus on muck and mud. Growing up my father frequently referred to negative people as a "stick in the mud". It's a person who has forgotten, or never known the joy of God's rescue. He/she would rather wallow in the mud of negativity and a critical spirit.

So many self-professing, Christ-followers have this unrealistic and unbiblical notion that a life committed to Christ is free from pain, trouble and rough water. That lie came straight from the pit of hell in an effort to diminish the glorious grace of God. Martin Luther King Jr., said, "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."

Maybe you are in a pit right now. Perhaps the mud and muck of life is trying to swallow you. Don't get overwhelmed. Cry out to God. He will hear your cry and He will rescue. However, remember the psalmist "waited on the Lord". Rescue will come, but it's not on our timetable. There may be a lesson we need to learn by staying in the mud for longer than we would like. God's rescue happens when God is ready, but rest assured He longs to rescue us. If you doubt just how serious God is about rescuing those who cry out to Him, you need look no farther than the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. In Jesus, God gave the best that He had to offer to rescue us from ourselves and the pit of sin!

When God rescues the psalmist says He gives us a new song to sing: "He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God." I don't know about you, but I am desperate at times for a new song. I need rescue so bad that I cry out to God in desperation. And every time, when He is ready, I am rescued. It doesn't mean my rescue comes without consequences, hard work, or pain.

The song of deliverance is the sweetest song ever sung. When we sing it, we declare to the world the glory of THE Rescuer. Now that's the song of redemption, salvation and grace!