50 Is BIG Business

Just before Thanksgiving I hit the big 49. I've never made a big deal about age. In fact, I've always been pretty content with my age, except for childhood when we all wanted to "grow up".

I was doing just fine in the early part of my 49th year until two, separate, but strangely connected things happened. The first was opening the cabinet where we keep our pills and vitamins to discover a bottle of "Centrum Silver". I thought it was one left by my parents when they were visiting, but later learned that my wife had actually bought it for us because she got a good deal on it. Good deal????? I just wasn't prepared to find a bottle of Centrum Silver vitamins waiting for my personal consumption at age 49. It clearly states on the bottle that it is a vitamin for people 50+! I am not 50, yet! Taking it at 50 and above is just fine, but not BEFORE 50! This really tore me up. This from a guy who never gets upset when people older than my youngest child refer to me as "sir", "mister", or "that older guy". Yet, this silver bottle pushed me into a world where I wasn't chronologically cleared to fly yet. I refer to this day as "Centrum Silver Day".

The same day (Centrum Silver Day) I came home and started combing through the mail. I was expecting a letter. However, I wasn't expecting a letter of welcome with a membership card and dues invoice from AARP! Convinced it was a conspiracy to plague and oppress 49-year old's, I promptly sent the entire envelope and its contents to the shredder. Imagine trying to register someone for a retirement organization well before they are even in the decade of legal retirement? Yes, I know they started lowering their membership eligibility age years ago in an effort to include more people and increase their bottomline. Translation? More cash on hand for AARP. The card/letter even stated that I could begin using the membership card upon turning 50. Ha, ha, bet they wouldn't sit on the payment until my 50th birthday!

I thought the matter was settled until last week when yet another AARP kit arrived. Are you kidding me? I have no doubt that 10,000 Boomers turning 65 every day for the next 19 years is just too much to wait for at AARP headquarters when the eligibility age for membership is now down to 50. Think about all those dues. If you take half the Boomer population (35m) and multiply it by the $16 AARP annual dues that's more than $560 million! Pretty soon they will be offering them to everyone who has a child in grade school, or a silver car, or people who still use snail mail. 50 is indeed BIG business. For more insight into the affects of Boomer retirement see Ellen Goodman's recent article on the subject.

Wonder how long it's going to take AARP to send me another kit since I shredded the second one?

Happy at 49 and looking forward to 50, if God is willing!