Friend of the Wounded Heart

What do you do when people you love are hurting? I’m talking about friends who are hurting, not family. Sometimes they are hurt because of a health issue, a divorce, job loss, addictions, the death of a loved one, a relationship issue, depression, or unresolved stuff from their formative years and family of origin. Sometimes the pain is self-inflicted from poor decisions and other times it’s not because of anything they have, or haven’t done.

Whether the pain is caused by others, or self doesn’t make it any easier on those of us who love them unconditionally. Would to God we could miraculously make the pain, or hurt disappear. That would be too easy wouldn’t it? And it would deny our friend(s) the opportunity:

• · To grow spiritually and personally from the experience
• · To learn something about themselves and the world
• · To model grace despite the hurt/pain
• · To exercise their faith
• · To hear truth spoken in love
• · To face the wound and seek help
• · To begin the process of forgiveness
• · To make peace with themselves, the world and others
• · To be loved unconditionally by us
• · To accept God’s unconditional love despite the pain
• · To be prayed over by us

I have two friends who are hurting this week. One has been hurting a long time. He’s got family of origin baggage that’s preventing him from resolving his chronic anger. Until he comes to term with it and admits it, he’s just going to grow even bitterer. I ache for him because he has so much potential, and many who love him have been praying for peace in his life for a long time. I pray resolution comes soon in his life and more than anything that he will know peace.

My other friend is the victim of Satan’s lies and cultural myths. He is convinced his life is worthless, and that he is making little difference in the world and he wants to throw in the towel and change jobs. The job isn’t the problem. The cultural myth is the belief that things are better on the other side of the mountain in his life. Yep his perspective will change if he makes the move, but the same issues will eventually resurface in the new location and surroundings. He has made a HUGE difference in his career and life. He has made a major impact on my life. He has a beautiful family, reasonably good health, a wonderful home and people who love him dearly. He is a very wealthy man and doesn’t realize it. He has bought into the lie that ultimate peace and contentment is circumstantial, not attitudinal. Now he says otherwise when offering counsel to others, but at the end of the day he is restless and refuses to apply this truth in his own life. I pray God reveals to him just how wonderful his life is and how much he is valued, loved and treasured by me, not for what he has done, but for who he is!

To both of these men whom I love Paul’s words come to mind:

⁴ Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. ⁵ Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; ⁶ do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus

¹¹ Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. ¹² I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. ¹³ I can do all things through him who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:4-7, 11-13 ESV)