The BIG or the Small?

We are big on the big aren't we?  We love big wins, big houses, big vacations, big hotels, big churches, big business, big government, big, big, big.  We are a people who gravitate toward the big.  We celebrate the big.  Oh you can  act like we don't, but we do.  

The problem with focusing on the big is that you miss the small.  Small acts of kindness. Small examples of love.  Small expressions of peace and justice.  We read Scripture and we see the big:

• David and Goliath (the small beats the big!)
• Jonah and a big fish
• Big wilderness
• Big plagues
• Big parting of a sea
• Big healings
• Big miracles

Yes, God does big things, but He also works in the small.  He is in the ordinary, daily and the routine.  We are the ones who miss Him.  We assume the mundane is simply the mundane, but nothing is mundane with God.   My experience has been that God appears more in the small than the big productions.  Small movements in people, groups, churches, missions, and ministry change the world.  I've seen Him in every day life more than I've seen Him in the big.  Maybe your experience has been different.  Maybe you only see God in the big and that's okay.  When you look for God in the big you can overlook His activity in every day life.  

Elijah had experienced God in a big way on Mt. Carmel, but he almost missed the small. God spoke to His prophet in the small (1 Kings 19):

¹¹ And he said, “Go out and stand on the mount before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. ¹² And after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper. ¹³ And when Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. And behold,there came a voice to him and said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” 

Yes, Gentle whisper.  Still small voice.  Impressions.  Thoughts.  Little acts of kindness, thoughtfulness by others that appear to be otherwise random, meaningless acts or words.  When's the last time you heard the whisper of God?  When's the last time His words made the hair on the back of your neck stand up?  When is the last time you stepped back from the big noise and stood on the mountainside of life listening for the still small voice?

The God of the BIG is also the God of the small.  I'm small.  I'm irrelevant in the BIG scheme of things, but guess what?  The BIG God cares for little me's and little you's!  Pull away from the big noise and listen for the small voice, the whisper of God. Then go, do and be!

The Season of Letting Go

It's back to school time again.  Teachers and students are returning to the daily grind of education.  On the higher education front a lot of parents have made the trek to their child's university, or college to climb stairs, unload and help set up dorm rooms.  Pardon me, that's what we called them in my day.  I should've said to set up their "suite".  As someone who has been down this road twice I can assure you that many a parent is coming home to an empty house, or at least a quieter one than the one they left now that there is one less child.

I cried in 2003 when we  dropped our son off at the University of North Florida, and again in 2009 when we said goodbye to his baby sister at Winthrop University.  But that's not a big deal for a guy who cries every time he sees the movies The Family Stone and Sleepless in Seattle!

For first time parents let me just say that it does get easier.  It's awkward at first and sooo quiet, even if you have more children at home.  It's a season of adjustment and a time of change.  Just remember that change even welcomed change takes time.  Don't expect to like it, or have it all figured out right away.  Let it come naturally and be honest about your emotions, loneliness and even the guilt you may start to feel by actually having a little more free time.   Trust me, that guilt passes real fast, LOL!

It's true that our children are always our children.  However, college is when things begin to shift from parenting to friendship.  Yes, they are still minors/dependents (tuition, car insurance, spending money, food, health insurance, etc.), but this is a season when they begin to make their own decisions and accept responsibility for life by keeping up with course work and syllabus', getting up and to class on time and deciding with whom and where they will spend their free time, among many other things.  Parents will learn to flex their wings after 18 years of nesting and the chicks are finally learning to fly solo, although that won't fully happen until they are own their own financially, but you get the idea.

I remember an incident when our son was a teenager and he was simply flexing his muscle as teenage boys are prone to do.  We had to remind him that we were his parents first and not his friends.  We had to remind him that sometimes parents have to make decisions that a friend would not.  We told him we had to be parents at the time so one day we could be friends down the road.  You see a child will not respect a parent who tries to be a best friend first and parent them second.  It just doesn't work and nearly always meets with disastrous consequences.  

On the day we left our son at UNF, I remember this like it was yesterday.  My wife took his hands and looked him in the eye and reminded him of that day when he was a freshman in high school and we told him we had to be parents first so we could be friends later.  Then she said, "Son, that day has come, we are your friends."  I held back my tears until we got in the van to make that long drive home and smiled.  Similarly right before we left our daughter in Rock Hill, I hugged her and told her how proud we were of her.  Then I handed her a small Moleskin journal filled with some of my favorite promises of Scripture, quotes, funny sayings familiar to our family and other tidbits.  I told her to pull out when she missed home, or was struggling.  In the years since she has reminded me of how much that journal has meant to her.  It has served to remind her of her simple roots and how important faith in God has been to our family.

So when I look at the picture above of our son with his infant daughter on the couch, I smile knowing that one day (Lord willing) he will take her to college with his sweet bride and they will also make this journey.  Son, don't rush it, redeem the time because she will be in college before you know it.  As our daughter begins her senior year at WU, I am grateful for the growth I have seen since her freshman year.    When I close my eyes she's still that 4-year old giggling in a bath tub filled with bubbles.  My heart beams with pride for the woman she has become, and for the man our son has become.  I hope your heart beams too over your children!

P.S.  We never pray more for our children than when they become adults.  The issues, challenges and problems they face are so much bigger than when they were at home.  Parents start praying when they are little.

No Drama Please!

I am declaring a "No Drama Day!"  It seems like "drama queens" are everywhere and before you think drama is confined strictly to the female gender think again.  Guys are every bit as capable and guilty of fomenting drama as their female counterparts.  In fact the most recent offenders I've observed have been men.  The college of fine arts I attended within my university was filled with artists, dancers, musicians, actors, and vocalists.  It was a breeding ground for drama.  And the majority of the drama came from guys!

People belch up their drama in the workplace, church, school, home and in the community.  When drama swirls everything else takes a back seat.  That means good, worthy and well meaning events, ideas, acts and conversation get pushed aside because the drama takes center stage.  Drama is singularly focused.  It doesn't allow anything else to flourish.  The drama becomes the story.

Get behind, or beyond the drama and you will find broken, hurting, wounded people.  People who experienced something traumatic, devastating, or horrible in their formative years, or in a previous marriage, or relationship.  Things like addictions, anger, a controlling spouse/parent, abuse, loss of someone close, divorce, or some specific event that remains unresolved and unprocessed with a seasoned counselor, or therapist, pastor, or small group.  Show me someone who thrives on drama in one area of their life and I will guarantee there is drama in every aspect of their life.  Yes, all of us have our dramatic moments, but I'm talking about people who are always surrounded by it.

Drama is especially troubling among Christ-followers.  We're supposed to give preference to others, love unconditionally, practice forgiveness, turn the other cheek and be last.  We're to practice humility, patience, self-control, goodness, reconciliation and kindness.  However, when we spew, foster or foment drama we resign ourselves to flesh.  We can smother it in the "language of Zion" to make it sound spiritual, but at the end of the day it's about self and it's nearly always about control.

There's enough drama in the world.  God's people need to suck it up and practice what we profess, preach and expect of others!  

Creatures of Habit

Our dog is definitely a creature of habit.  No matter what day it is she wakes up by 6:30 a.m.  And she expects to be let outside and fed upon her return.  

By 5-5:30 p.m. she will head to the kitchen and if you are not there she will come get you so she can be fed again.  If you are not home by 5:00 p.m. she will head to the back door upon your arrival so you can let her out and then she will return to the kitchen expecting to be fed.   

By 9:30 p.m. she heads to her bed (on the floor at the foot of our bed) and if Teri isn't there she will come look for her.  I really think she's got some OCD tendencies!  We used to have a Pug that really wigged out if you deviated from his daily routine.  Our gal is also in the habit of doing certain things at certain times.  

Recently I thought about the habits God wants His followers to have and how we are so prone to neglect the ones that challenge us.  Paul gave us some excellent habits in Romans 12:9ff:

⁹  Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. ¹⁰  Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. ¹¹ Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. ¹²  Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. ¹³  Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.¹⁴  Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. ¹⁵  Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. ¹⁶  Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. ¹⁷  Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. ¹⁸ If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.

I think the world would look different if we (Christ-followers) really tried to cultivate these habits.  Imagine a world where the people of God were obsessive and compulsive in their love for one another and others?  The world is still waiting and longing to see what that looks like.  It has to start with me.

The Old Green Porch

Many a summer of my childhood was spent at my grandparents home in rural western Kentucky.  Their little town was sustained by farming and coal.  The flat land was perfect for producing corn, soybeans, cattle and pigs.  Eventually the agronomic base lost jobs to cities with diversified economies built around commerce, industry and banking.  However, it was a very healthy town in my childhood.  So many of those once thriving businesses and store fronts are nothing but boarded up memories today.

My fondest memory of that house on the corner of 3rd & Monroe was the front porch.  Every summer my grandfather would clear the porch and give it a fresh coat of that old oil-based, green porch paint.  Once dry we would move the wicker rocker and chairs to their appropriate place as Papa would climb the ladder and hang the big, white porch swing.  To a 6-year old it seemed as though that swing was 10 ft. long!  Depending on the day that porch swing became a high speeding train, a fast moving stagecoach, or the Bat mobile.  Imagination was king.  I spent hours playing on that porch.

After baths my grandparents would let my sister and me join them on the porch in our pajamas with a bowl of popcorn.  Neighbors would drop by and “sit a spell”.   Some would sit and chat, others would stop by to say, “hey” as they finished a walk, or headed to the grocery "up town”.  My grandparents would sing old hymns, tell stories, read the paper, catch up on town news and listen to St. Louis Cardinal ballgames on that old green porch.  If my Dad was there he would get my grandmother tickled and she would just laugh.   Life together was done on that porch.

Neighbors would lean into one another.  Mutual care and concern was expressed and received.  Differing opinions were respected and laughter filled the air.  It didn’t matter whether you were Baptist, Methodist, or Pentecostal, you were welcomed and shared faith was celebrated.  Problems of the world were solved and communal care was expressed for families battling tough times.

I miss that old porch.  It was a slower and simpler way of life.  People actually looked one another in the eye and talked to each other.  No cell phones, laptops, iPads, earbuds, or texting.  People listened to each other.  Fast forward 40 years and everyone would be on the porch with laptops posting to FaceBook, texting, or tweeting.  I get and appreciate the progress we’ve made since then, but I long for those days when life was slower and people took the time to experience life together.

We need more front porches.  We’ve got tons of hidden decks and patios behind fences in back yards, but we’re missing our porches.  Maybe we would slow down, listen to one another and share our lives. Whenever life gets crazy, I close my eyes and go back to that old green porch.

Run Oscar Run!

Oscar Pistorius is not a household name, but he should be!  Oscar is the disabled South African Olympic athlete who never quits!  Although he failed to qualify for the 400m final he turned the tables on what it means to try no matter how difficult, or how great the odds may be against you.

Even though he didn’t qualify for the finals, Oscar has given hope to people with disabilities everywhere.  His carbon fiber blades were peeling down the lane next to folks with legs and feet.  Julie Morley, Director of Community Services at Disability Trust in the UK says Oscar’s Olympic run is a source of inspiration to people with disabilities everywhere, “It is tremendously helpful for people with physical disability who struggle with the everyday things normal people take for granted.  It gives them something to aspire to, to say, ‘if he can do it I can.’”

The “blade runner” as Oscar has been called logged a semi-final heat time of 46.54.  I have two legs and I couldn’t have even come close to what he accomplished.  The 25-year old South African had his lower legs amputated when he was 11-months old and born without a fibula in both legs.  Kirani James of Grenada, the world champion who battled Oscar in the first heat on Saturday said, “He is out here making history and we should all respect that and admire that.”

Yes we should Kirani, yes we should!