Steady Joe

All of us have emotional ups and downs, but some people live totally by the moment.  Their security, peace, safety, self-worth and welfare are always dependent upon how they feel at the moment.  Did you catch that phrase? How they feel at the moment. (Picture of Joseph and Mary from the movie: The Nativity)

It is dangerous to let emotions dictate our response to daily living.  Why? It’s a no-win.  Emotions are always up and down.  Feelings change, but truths don’t.  When we live by emotion we deny the deep truths that have been deposited deep within us by parents, coaches, teachers, family, pastors, friends, authors, and others for years and years.  The emotional moment is an opportunity to mine those deep truths. 

For example----you’ve had a good month at work, but your boss makes a single comment that sting’s a little at the annual Christmas party.  Are you going to let that one comment derail your day, week and month?  Or, are you going to mine the deep truth that you know God loves you know matter someone else says?  Or, what about the truth that you’re incredibly blessed with the wealth of friends and family who love us despite our faults?  Really? You are going to let one comment, one decision (okay even three), a single event, or conversation derail the depth of truth deposited deep within your heart, soul and mind?

Emotions are healthy until they rule your life.  There’s nothing wrong with crying, laughing, getting upset, or even being sad.  However, when every day and every moment is ruled by emotion something is seriously wrong with our wiring.

The birth narrative of Jesus is typically focused on Mary.  However, Joseph was steady Eddie.  Imagine the emotional roller coaster he traveled when he discovered his virgin fiancé’ was pregnant.  Yes, he had a moment when he thought about secretly getting a divorce to spare Mary public humiliation.  Chalk that up to the initial response of an emotional reaction.  It’s normal. 

Remember, Matthew says he was a “righteous/good” man. I can’t imagine the public humiliation he faced in a strict Jewish society.  However, the next verse (1:20) says that after he had “considered this” an angel appeared to him.  So before the angel even appeared to him, Joseph mined deep truths.  He knew deep within that God would not let him fall.  Had Joseph reacted like some of us he would’ve cut and run.  Forget Mary, forget any promises, forget what he knew deep within, think about yourself and run.  But he didn’t.  Joseph stayed the course and did what God asked him to do.  And years later when his heaven-sent Son would come forward publicly, he would be called the “son of a carpenter”.  Jesus was identified by his relationship with his earthly father.  What if Joe had bolted?  What if he let emotions rule the day?

One more thought.  Letting emotion run our lives is exhausting.  There is no consistency.  Nothing is steady.  You are either way up, or way down.  No medium.  Imagine what it’s like to live with a spouse, parent, or child who lives like this?  It must be hell on earth.  Anger, sulking, stoicism, crying, hysterics and emotional blackmail run the show.  Those who live in a family like this often describe the experience as “walking on glass,” because they never know how the emotive person is going to behave.  At the end of the day it’s really a selfish response to life.  It doesn’t think of others.  It doesn’t give preferential treatment to others.  It is all about me: my needs, my feelings, my wants, and my desires.  I have watched it destroy more marriages, families and careers than I care to remember.

I have learned this tough lesson the hard way.  I see the world through emotions and feelings.  I have extremely high empathy and mercy gifts.  I filter life through art, poetry, song, and narrative instead of numbers, rules and facts.  There’s nothing wrong with how we are wired.  However, when we go to either extreme (emotion/logic) we deny ourselves any chance of living a balanced life.  And people we love get hurt in the process.  I’m really trying to think, reflect and take stock of the big picture when something hits my emotional hot button.  It has improved with age, but what I’d give to get those years back when my emotions hurt others and myself.  Don’t deny your emotions, but if we are still “feeling” the same way the next day we need to do some deep mining, reflect and pray.  If we are still driven by emotion upon reflection it’s time to see a physician and good pastoral/emotional care and counseling.