What Pushes Your Button?

What pushes your hot button?  Lousy drivers?  Your team losing? Mean people?  Failure?  Mistakes? Negative comments? Not getting your way?  Having to wait?  It's important to know what pushes our buttons.  Everyone (no exceptions) has a button.  Some people have several.  All of us have a button that sets us off.

The button can activate anger, depression, silence, shouting, pouting, and more.  It makes us leave our "normal" pattern of behavior and sends us over the edge.  The button is different for every person.  Knowing your button is the first step in making sure it doesn't activate the launch sequence.  Once launched we are inevitably in trouble.  Every time a button is pushed and launch sequence of emotion is activated we come to regret it.  Once the smoke clears and the sun rises we realize it wasn't that bad and we overreacted.  Usually someone gets hurt and usually it's people we love.

For example.  Let's say your button is anger.  Someone or something happens during your day and it sets you off.  To others it's not a big deal, but to you it's major.  Years ago, Dr. Andrew Lester wrote a book entitled, "Coping With Your Anger: A Guide for Christians."  Great read!  Truly enlightening.  He noted that when we get angry we need to ask ourselves: Why am I so angry?  The idea is to identify the cause of the anger.  Someone cuts you off in traffic and you get mad, but that's not the root of the anger.  The root is way beyond a guy we don't even know who just acted selfish.  The idea is to peel back the layers, do the hard work of discovering the cause of anger.  Men typically have a greater issue with the anger button than women.

Knowing our "hot button" is important.  When we recognize it, when pushed we can retreat, reflect and ask ourselves important questions.  We can analyze, take a breath and ask:  "Why am I acting this way? Why is this issue making me sad, depressed, angry or anxious? Why do I feel threatened?"  We create distance from the cause.  Distance allows us time to breathe so we aren't reacting, we are thinking.  And thinking is never a bad thing.  We can begin to act proactively instead of reacting from pure emotion.

Years ago a seasoned, mature boss taught me a valuable lesson.  Our organization had been cheated so I wrote a very hot letter.  My boss read it and agreed with the sentiment.  Then he asked me to put it in my desk, pray and sleep on it.  He told me to return in the morning and if I had peace about sending it to go ahead with his blessing.  Guess what?  Yep, I came into the office after much prayer and rest and read what I had written again.  I was shocked.  And I was embarrassed.  I didn't send the letter.  However, I've got to admit writing it was fun!  Ole Bill knew what he was doing and his wisdom didn't fall on deaf ears.

What pushes your hot button?  Ask your family if you are having trouble finding an answer to the question  Trust me, they know.  Now, take that information shared in love and begin the hard work of reflection, prayer, contemplation and self-awareness.  You will be amazed at the results.

Man, I'm so glad a wise man caught me before the mail went out and helped me realize that my response, while true, was not appropriate.

Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath!    Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil.  Psalm 37:8