Charlie Won!

Today we celebrate the life of a fellow warrior in the battle against cancer, Charlie Summey.  Charlie was a runner.

Upon his initial diagnosis of stage 4, Glioblastoma, a friend had a bunch of black wristbands made that simply said, "Running With Charlie."  And we did for 18 incredible months.

• We ran through a major neuro surgery at Duke.  
• We ran through speech, physical and occupational therapy at R.C. Peace.  
• We ran through chemo rounds of Avastin and Temodar  
• We ran through radiation treatments
• We ran alongside Julie, Becca & Adam as they ran with incredible courage for a husband and father
• We ran through the final days  

An army of family, friends and even people who didn't personally know Charlie ran in his honor.  Early Saturday morning Charlie crossed THE finish line.  Never were the words of the Apostle Paul more appropriate: I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. (2 Tim. 4:7).

I met Charlie, four years ago following my major surgery at Wake Forest University Medical Center.  Vigilant follow-up from that surgery brought early detection of my lymphoma.  It was during my treatments that we became close.  Charlie was intrigued about my cancer and how I was processing it with my faith.  Little did either of us know that while he was ministering to me in my cancer treatments a bomb was growing inside his head.  

Cancer patients have an immediate bond whether they personally know one another or not.  I can't describe it.  It's a connection that can only be experienced, and if you have never had it, I hope you don't ever experience it!  However, cancer provided the framework for our relationship that just grew sweeter and sweeter with every cup of coffee, text, and phone call.  No questions or topics were off limits.  Everything was discussed through the lens of hope, knowing that worst thing that could happen was death, which we viewed as the best thing whenever God was ready.  We were able to share deep things with one another as fellow pastors and cancer warriors.  Both of us were second-career pastors which was another interesting bond.  

In many ways Charlie was my pastor.  So, I have lost not only a friend, but a pastor.  So have a lot of other people.   I can't think of Charlie without smiling and even chuckling.  There's not a higher compliment either!  He was real and he allowed me to be me.  Plus, he was my fellow, self-admitted, Ragamuffin.  Rest in Jesus friend, and yes, you beat me to heaven!  I will catch up, so please have the Starbucks ready.     

Being Possessed by Possessions?

Recently while journaling at a local coffee shop I noticed that everyone in the place (including me) had a smartphone in hand or nearby.  As I looked up from my entry I couldn't help but notice the number of people who were constantly looking at their phone while engaged in a conversation with one or more persons.   
At first I thought it was just one group of middle-aged women, but then I noticed it had nothing to do with age.  Everyone was continually looking at their phones.  Teens, young moms, senior adults, and business folks.  Some were actually texting as they continued to talk to the people in front of them.  Just as I was tempted to make a snap judgement on attention spans and the discourteous multi-tasking I realized I too, had glanced down at my phone at least three times while making my observation, although I was alone.  It occurred to me that technology has hijacked our attention, or made all of us ADD.  But I think it's part of a bigger problem that began before our obsession with gadgets.  Technology just expedited it.  

What happens when a culture is possessed by its possessions?  Our big screens, cars, boats, golf clubs, laptops, iPads/Kindles, Samsung, Androids, iPhones, and homes can become our masters if we aren't careful.  One night of FB posting and surfing can turn into multiple nights of endless hours reading about a long lost high school friend's new love life, or job.  Nothing wrong with FB either, but there is something wrong when our gadgets/possessions hold us hostage from relating to family, friends, and others in meaningful conversation that demands our undivided attention.  Charles Spurgeon even called it a "fearful disease,"---the divided heart:

A stony heart may be turned to flesh but turn a divided heart into whatsoever you please, so long as it is divided, all is ill. Nothing can go right when that which should be one organ becomes two; when the one motive power begins to send forth its life-floods into two diverse channels, and so creates intestine strife and war. A united heart is life to a man, but if the heart be cut in twain, in the highest, deepest, and most spiritual sense, he dies. It is a disease which is not only affecting a vital part, but affecting it after the most deadly fashion.

Jesus saw this long ago.  He knew the human heart could be hijacked from God's purposes.  He knew our loyalties could be fleeting.  In Matthew 22, in response to a trick question from the Pharisees, Jesus provides an answer that really addresses this issue.  He reminds us to give Caesar what is Caesar's, but to give God what is God's.  The point, everything is God's!  Especially our possessions, talent, finances, and resources.  He is reminding the legalists that NOTHING trumps God.  Even Caesar had human and earthly limitations, but not God.  God should get ALL because God not only provided it, but He gave ALL, in giving us Jesus Christ!  As I use these resources, I need to regularly remind myself to use them, but to guard against being being used by them.

I'm worried that some people aren't going to be able to cope in heaven without a Smartphone.  God's not a phone call or text away, but a breath!

WANTED: Grace-givers

Grace-giving is not natural.  It goes against the culture.  Grace-giving is not about me.  It's about God and others.  Instead of focusing on what "I" need or want, it focuses on the needs of others and God's will.  Grace-giving has to be regularly exercised so it becomes part of our normal life rhythm.  It isn't something that comes naturally.  

Grace-giving doesn't get it's way.  It is self-less.  Jesus is the ultimate example of grace-giving.  He didn't get His way.  His life mission and purpose was about God's way and extending grace to undeserving, flawed and imperfect creatures like us.  Grace-giving isn't about turning a blind eye to the dark side of humanity, e.g., sin, control, anger, sarcasm, addictions, prejudice, etc.  It responds to the deepest human need, to be loved without condition.  It doesn't avoid the truth, but speaks truth in love.  Grace-giving also lets individuals be responsible for their actions, instead of trying to "fix" them, or "make them" do what is right.  

After 24 years of pastoral ministry I continue to be amazed at the number of people who proudly state they have received the grace of God in Christ, but are so unwilling to extend it to others.  Examples?

• Competition for spiritual recognition among other Christ-followers
• Sarcasm veiled as harmless jokes/teasing
• Promoting a personal agenda without ever considering God's will, or others
• Gossip, innuendo and repeating half-truths
• Treating perception as truth instead of seeking the truth
• Preoccupation with how we/something looks, instead of reality
• Demanding contrition, or punishment of those who've wronged us, or someone we love
• Exercising pride and arrogance instead of humility (can't be wrong/never accept responsibility)
• Limited acceptance of those who are different
• Hiding/denying our own struggles and sins 

Grace-giving begins with the daily awareness that we are ALL sinners in desperate need of God's grace.  We are like the second man in Jesus' contrasting story of two men praying in Luke 18:

9 He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and treated others with contempt: 10 “Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’ 13 But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’ 14 I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”

  

Spiritual arrogance, pride and contempt are dangerous enemies of the body of Christ.  They stifle the growth and disbursement of grace.  Every Christ-follower has been given extraordinary freedom and to whom much is given much is required!  In Romans 13, Paul says we owe the debt of love.  And when God in Christ has done so much for us, how can we not reciprocate with the same love for others?  We begin by loving God and as a result we can't help, but love others.  Maybe some are like Welton Gaddy said, "They love/admire God, but they are not IN love with Him."  

More Love and Less Talk: A Challenge for Every Minister

A recent conversation with a minister from another church in our area prompted this blog entry.  We were sharing how many pastors have a competitive bent.  It is not verbalized publicly, but in private conversations.  Comparisons and comments are made about other churches, or pastors as if they were the competition.  Sarcasm, broad generalizations, and negative comments reveal mean-spiritedness, or envy at best.  It has got to stop.  We've all participated in it to some degree.   And this is beyond church size.  Pastors in all sizes of churches and denominations (and non) contribute to this unhealthy diatribe.   It's time to come clean about it.  Admit it, confess it and promise God we will stop!  We've got to start cheering each other on regardless of the state of our own churches, or ministries.

This competitive/comparative streak must grieve our Father in heaven.  He takes no joy in our comments, or silence in the presence of mistruths and statements of misperception about another church. Think about it.  If you are a minister, or leader in another church and you let unfounded, baseless and damning comments pass unchallenged about another church you are simply fertilizing gossip.  And gossip is wrong, damaging and hurtful.  It is not supposed to be part of our spiritual DNA.

People in the pews and seats take their cues from leadership.  If we (ministers) are bad mouthing, or being hyper-critical toward another pastor, or church we are setting the tone.  We need to be supportive of other churches and leaders.  Even if there is a known struggle, or issue within another local body we need to hold the banner of encouragement and support even higher.  Instead of saying, "I didn't realize...." about a pastor or issue in another church, we need to hold them in prayer and exhort people who share such information to do likewise.  What if we said, "I had no idea Bob!  Let's pray for that pastor (or church) right now!"  A lot of this junk would stop long before it got any traction.  

And please, let's not fall on the sword of doctrinal purity by saying, "Well, you know they believe XYZ," or, "Their student minister is teaching....".  Who put you in charge of judging the motives, beliefs and practices of other churches?  Let's heed the warning of the Pharisee Gamaliel when the Sanhedrin questioned the acts of the Apostles in Acts 5:34ff:   
38 So in the present case I tell you, keep away from these men and let them alone, for if this plan or this undertaking is of man, it will fail; 39 but if it is of God, you will not be able to overthrow them. You might even be found opposing God!” So they took his advice,

Let's leave the judgment to God.  We need to do a better job of practicing what we preach, the unconditional love of Christ.  Sometimes is seems as though we are more willing to love those without Christ than we are those affiliated with a different church.  I think Jesus said we would be known by our love for one another.  Imagine if we really loved like that?

Everything Is Beautfiul

In 1970 niche/novelty (The Streak, Ahab the Arab, etc.,) songwriter and singer, Ray Stevens recorded a serious song that became a staple of his show and earned him a grammy.  The song, Everything Is Beautiful, begins with a children's choir singing, "Jesus Loves the Little Children":

Jesus loves the little children

All the little children of the world

Red and yellow, black and white

They are precious in his sight

Jesus loves the little children of the world

Everything is beautiful

In its' own way

Like a starry summer night

Or a snow covered winter's day

Everybody's beautiful

In their own way

Under God's heaven

The world's gonna find a way

Ray Stevens is right.  Everything is beautiful in its own way.  Everything and every person has something beautiful or good within.  It may be buried in a shroud of depression, anger, and darkness, but deep within there is something good.  Even flawed characters have a soft spot.  Easy strict biblicists.  I am not saying humans are without sin, but I am saying that humanity was created in the image of God.  Maybe I should say we all have the capacity for good.  My paternal grandmother often said that every person has one redeeming quality.  I think it was her way of steering conversations away from gossip and talking "about" other people.

Humans tend to focus on the negative, ugly, or the bad in people and situations.  Think about it.  There are more negative headlines than positive/good ones.  We would be better served if we sought the best in every person or situation.  After all, would we prefer people focus on our individual faults and shortcomings, or our potential?

There was a very difficult and powerful man in a former church.  He was very controlling behind the scenes.  He used his influence and power to go against a lot of things and people.  However, bring up the subject of children and his eyes lit up.  If there was a program, or idea that was going to help children his generosity smothered it.  His "sweet/good" spot was kids and needy families.  As I reflect on those days I regret the fact that I focused more on the difficulty of his personality instead of the positives.

We need to celebrate the promise and positive attributes in people even if we have to dig for it.  When we do, we live out Jesus' command that we love others in light of our love for God.  Loving others without conditions seeks the best in them.  Jesus loves us despite our faults and flaws.  He sees beyond them and knows our potential to love others in the same way.  He calls and commands us to do the same.

³⁴ A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. ³⁵ By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”       (John 13:34-35)

(Photo of Ray Stevens by Bryan Bedder/Getty's)

When New Stuff Doesn't Work Anymore

A young friend is trying to fill a hole or need in his life with things.  He can't stop.  Vehicles, sporting goods, hunting stuff, clothes, and electronics are the trappings of his life.  If someone else gets something new that he doesn't have, or his version is older, he will buy it just to stay up to date.  After purchasing another high-end handgun he recently put one of equal make and quality on Craigslist.  The irony?  The gun on Craigslist was the gun he just "had to have," when he purchased it a few months ago.  The thrill  didn't last.  Every time I hear of his latest purchase I want to sing B.B. King's, "The Thrill Is Gone."

Fortunately (well maybe not), my friend has the economic standing to be able to live like this.  Those who don't just spiral deeper and deeper into debt from their impulse purchases that often defy commonsense and sound economics.

Are you like my friend?  Take out a legal pad and write down everything you've purchased (over $100) in the last year and beside it write down what it replaced and how long you had it.  Then write down whether or not you were able to pay cash for the new item, or if you had to make payments.  Obviously I'm not including goods and services for your house, car maintenance, medical, gifts, etc.  You know what I'm talking about: STUFF!

If you have a problem in this area you will begin to see a pattern.  Undoubtedly, loved ones and friends have known about it for a long time.  Near the new purchase write how long you planned, thought about, or saved to make the purchase.  Was it last minute, two weeks, or six months?  Did you have the cash, or did you use credit?  If credit was involved did you pay it off at the end of the month?  If it's a big ticket item were you upside down after the purchase?

Now, beside each purchase try and remember how you were feeling emotionally at the time of the purchase:  Was their conflict in your life?  Were you depressed?  Were you angry about something, or with someone?  Were you feeling sorry for yourself?  Be honest.   Then, make a note how long the purchase subdued your anger, depression, conflict, etc.  Again, be honest.  Are the same issues recurring and not being resolved?  If you have an issue or problem in this area it will surface.

I love my friend.  He makes me laugh and he is very smart.  However, I long for him to fill this void in his life.  It's beyond gut/impulse purchases.  It's about trying to fulfill a deep longing, or need.  I don't know him well enough to know what that need is, but I suspect it is faith/peace related coupled with a parent who lived by the same compulsion.  I am praying for my friend and asking God for the right time to ask him about it without putting him on the defensive.  I want for him to have this incredibly large hole in his life filled with more than just the same old, but new STUFF.  I want him to fill the hole with something lasting and rich.

Why?  When I was his age I tried the same thing and lived beyond my means.  It hurt our family.  It hurt me.  We got help.  It was so Solomon, "a chasing after the wind."  If the wealthiest human that ever lived couldn't find fulfillment in STUFF, wealth, conquests and possessions, how can we even pretend with a straight face that it will work for us?  There's more to life for my friend, and more for you if you struggle in this area.  Get help now.  Start by asking your spouse, children, close friends, or parents if they  think you have a problem in this area.  And let them know you really want to know, but don't get defensive when they answer.  Give them permission to speak truth in love without fear of a reprisal.  Start now, it's never too late!

The Red, White & Blue

When I see the American flag (aka: Old Glory, The Stars and Stripes),  I am reminded of its rich symbolism and history.   From Francis Scott Key's vision of it captured in our National Anthem, to our national seamstress, Betsy Ross.  

These colors and symbols are rich with meaning and history.  I close my eyes and hear Kate Smith singing, "God Bless America".  I can see five U.S. Marines and a Navy corpsman raising it in battle at Iwo Jima.  I see it flying in the rubble of the World Trade Center after 911.  I see it adorning the graves of the fallen at Arlington National Cemetery.  I see it flying on the moon when the Apollo astronauts stepped onto its surface.  I see it covering the coffins of military funerals I've performed, or attended.   And I see it flying atop our Capitol.  Thousands of images and stories are connected to the flag.

Each color and symbol represents something special to me:

Red: Blood---the blood of countless men and women who gave their lives obeying orders and protecting the freedoms the flag represents.

White: Purity---the purity of ideals, rights, privileges and freedoms that drove our founding father's to envision and pursue a nation like none before.

Blue: Truth---the truth of ideals behind the freedoms we pass on to the next generation.

Stripes: Bravery---13 of them representing the number of small colonies that stood up to fight for independence from the British.

Stars: Unity in Diversity---50 individual, separate/distinct, but united states who despite their differences are linked by noble ideals and principles.

What do you see when you see the flag?  Fly your flag this week and celebrate the birth of our nation and the freedoms we all enjoy.  Happy July 4th!