Looking Back, But Leaning Forward

The older I get the more I realize how deeply flawed I am and how many mistakes I’ve made in the past.  I am all too human and all too flawed.  An imperfect, broken vessel.  It’s why I need God.  It’s why I need Jesus.  He completes me!

I look back on a young man with very few life experiences who was quick to dispense advice and pronounce judgments he really had no business making.  I see a young father that made sooooooo many mistakes in parenting and upon reflection should’ve defaulted to grace more than he did.  I see a young pastor consumed with perception, unrealistic expectations and blind to reality.   The insecurity of youth was a horrible baseline for decisions.  I see unresolved PK baggage that affected actions and decisions.  A young husband who, for a long time confused work and professional accolades with “being present” and supportive.  No, this isn’t a rant prompted by unresolved conflict, guilt or unconfessed sin.  It’s wisdom.

The wisdom writers noted that wisdom begins with the fear of the Lord.  Too many years were spent without realizing just how great, glorious and big God is!  Missed opportunities and a “too busy doing God’s work,” attitude rationalized workaholism and an honest self-examination.  Age has brought a different perspective.  And it’s NEVER too late to make corrections and right your ship.  But it has to begin with a response to a very simple invitation:  “Come, follow me.”

When Jesus bids an invitation to follow, it’s either “all in,” or not.  Not one aspect of life can be exempted from total surrender.  If we hold something back, it’s not surrender, it’s control.  And therein lies the crux of the matter.  In the end it is idolatry.  Oh we can dress it up and call it whatever we want, but the bottom-line is that we are prone to hold something back because deep within we reason that we can do a better job (now that’s just funny), or it’s too deep, too dark for God to handle.  Wake up!  He can handle anything you throw His way.  It’s all He’s ever wanted-----our undivided attention and devotion.  And as the years pass (rapidly I might add) you realize that complete and total surrender really is the only way to move forward.  Jesus put it this way:  "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.”

Self-denial is indeed the only way!  It’s how we move from a marked past and find the way of God.  So, I’m not living with an eye on a regretful past.  I’m simply trying to follow Him, today.  One day, one step at a time.  How bout you?  Something you need to let go of so you can really follow?  Come clean, take the first step and give it to God.  Then, and only then, He gets the glory.  It’s all He wants!