Last But Not Least!

Pastoral ministry and (vocational ministry/missions as well) is a breeding ground for workaholism.  As a pastor and adult PK, I can wholeheartedly state with the utmost confidence that most churches (not all) will happily "atta boy," their non-stop, working pastor to the detriment of his marriage and family until he has crashed and burned.  Then they simply move on to the next pastor.

A few, and it's very few, churches actually understand the need for intentional breaks and precious time away for ministers and their families.  These are the churches and congregations that want their leaders to be there for the long haul and consider mandated time away an investment in their ministry.  Too many churches grind up their pastoral staff members with non-stop work that drains/depletes without refreshing/refueling empty ministry tanks.  Things like non-stop pastoral care, visitation, multiple evening meetings, and the endless activity of a "program driven" church wrapped in unrealistic expectations take their toll on ministers and their families.  And sadly, many ministers are wired and trained to keep up this sinful model that sacrifices everything for ministry out of guilt, or pure ego:  "See what a good minister I am.  I made 23 home and hospital visits this week!"  Never mind that Pastor Jones spent ZERO time with his children or spouse aside from worship, or church activities which is like a car saleswoman's children and husband sitting in the dealership for two hours while she sells cars.

Stay with me, this isn't a sad and vengeful rant of an adult PK dealing with unresolved family of origin issues.   Long ago, I got in touch with my workaholism and did my best to make my family a priority.  Sometimes I got it wrong and reverted to old patterns and expectations, but on the whole I think I learned from my own experience growing up in a minister's home and the early pastoral mistakes of confusing spiritual activity with the spiritual work of God upon the human heart.  I also learned how to accept the fact that I am a deeply flawed and imperfect work who needs to rely solely on God's grace, correction, and leadership to shape and mould me into His piece of clay.  Even healthy pastoral families struggle with these issues.

Zac Brown's song, "Last But Not Least" has hit a home run with me.  It made me think of my bride of soon to be 30 years and the many, many sacrifices she has made as a spouse, partner in ministry, mom and best friend.  She didn't choose pastoral ministry, but she willingly accepted it in faith and "saddled up" for this 24 year ride.   Enjoy Zac's lyrics below.  The song is really good.  

BTW, workaholism and sacrificial marriages and families aren't limited to pastoral ministry.  They exist when/wherever a person can't say "NO," for the right reasons to the wrong things!

There ain't enough of me to go around
Got all kinds of reasons
To be all over town
Spread thin and broken down
Everybody wants a piece
Oh darlin I'm afraid

You've been last but not least
Everyone I love the most
Has to take what's left of me
I put it all together
But I left out one big piece
I put you last
But you're not least

Nothing ever takes the place of you
Sometimes things that may not matter
Jump in front of things that do
And your fine to stand in line
While history repeats
But oh darlin not this time

Last but not least
Everyone I love the most
They deserve the best from me
I put it all together
When I found that missing piece
You were the last
But you're not least

I go left when I should go right
I chase the dark when I see light
I trip and fall down every time I try
To walk that line
The sun comes up I look for rain
I search for joy and I find the pain
I swear I will not forget again
Last but not least

Last but not least
Everyone I love the most
Is gonna see the best of me
I put it all together
When I found the missing piece
You were the last
You were the last
But you're not least