Tough questions abound in this argument on both sides: Why is holding a different opinion of the definition of marriage viewed as hatred? Why do people who preach tolerance and diversity allow every opinion except for those that are different from theirs? Why do people who profess to have received the grace of God have so much trouble dispensing it to others, especially toward those with whom they disagree? Why do I have to compromise my personal beliefs?
The vitriol flying on both sides of the gay marriage issue is sad. I have witnessed intolerance, judgment and anger on BOTH sides. We pounce on people that don't share our view and we paint with incredibly broad brushes ignoring the heartbeat of individuals. Holding preconceived views of people is dangerous and narcissistic because we are presuming to know their heart beyond the issue of disagreement. I may disagree with your politics, theology, or morals, but that does not give me the right to presume upon your ethos. To do so is idolatrous because it would mean that a human can presume to know the heart of another human. Christ-followers believe only God can do that and we cannot stand in a place reserved for the holy.
I'm not asking you to agree, I'm just asking you to listen. Christ-followers consider marriage a creation and gift of God, not a product of the state, or government. We point to Genesis 2 when God created woman and the concept of "one flesh" inhabited humanity. It began for us as a woman and a man. It is ancient and it is one of the most basic fundamental and foundational beliefs we hold. I'm not asking you to adopt my view. You can call it out of touch and archaic, but it's still a view we hold no matter what the government says. And we are entitled under the same "equal protection" clause in the expression of our religious freedom to hold a differing view.
When a Christian says I don't support gay marriage it is because it goes against what we believe the Bible teaches about covenant marriage. It doesn't mean we hate anyone, or want them to go to hell. Yet, when asked for our opinion, if we share this foundational belief we are castigated as intolerant, bigoted, hypocritical, hateful, and biased. Don't believe me? Look at what happened when Dan Cathy the CEO of Chik-fil-A was asked what he believed on the subject? He was asked a question about a personal belief and he gave an honest answer. But his answer wasn't good enough. It was about conformity, not tolerance. Why is it so important that we compromise such a deeply held belief? Why do we have to conform to a belief in something that is completely counter to our most foundational and sacred beliefs? That said, I am not asking opposing views to compromise their view or beliefs on the subject. Heck, there are straight Christians who hold the opposite view on this issue. Can we disagree and still respect one another?
What if we changed the language on this subject? What if we used the terms civil union or domestic partnerships instead of marriage? Civil unions are not new. When a couple (straight or gay) exchanges vows in a civil ceremony before a judge it is not marriage in the eyes of those who believe in Scripture. For us, marriage is a creation and gift from God. When we stand before a minister in the context of a marriage ceremony in worship we recognize God's authority over marriage, not the government. Yes, the government recognizes the married couple, but even if it didn't, Christ-followers would still feel compelled to do so because we are seeking and asking God's blessing, guidance, direction and authority over the relationship. And God's validation of marriage is more important to us than the governments. The civil union would grant all legal/government advantages to the gay couple without redefining one of our most sacred beliefs.
What if you were told your entire life that honesty is above all else? Your parents, teachers, friends, mentors and everyone preached the importance of honesty. So you become an adult and honesty is a foundational belief for you. Now, someone comes along and they ask you to lie. You refuse because it goes against one of your core values/beliefs. However, those who disagree with you are not only asking you to lie, but they want you to be punished if you don't lie. You have to lie if you are going to get along with everyone. You aren't carrying placards, protesting, or screaming at people. You simply want to be able to practice your fundamental belief in honesty.
The SCOTUS decision on DOMA and Prop 8 has changed the playing field. We aren't going back. N.J. Governor Chris Christie came out against the SCOTUS ruling, but noted that if it is the will of the people in NJ he will ultimately abide by the ballot results. Maggie Haberman reported on Christie's comments in a rent radio interview. Here's just a small part:
He added, “I’ve made it very clear since 2009 that I believe that marriage should be between one man and one woman. I’ve said that, I ran on that, I’ve said it consistently. That doesn’t mean, in any way shape or form, that I have anything against folks who are homosexual. In fact, I’ve said I believe people are born that way. I don’t believe it’s a choice … you were born with your sexual preference. But I believe that the institution of marriage for 2,000 years has been between a man and a woman.”
But he added that if the state’s residents voted for it, he would be obligated to follow the law of the land of New Jersey.Equally disturbing to me are those speaking for Christians acting as though Christianity never dealt with diametrically opposing beliefs. I would encourage them to read a description of ancient Corinth, or Athens, in Paul's day and tell me First Century culture wasn't hostile to historic Judeo-Christian beliefs. Pagan and cultic worship were rampant as was practice with the occult. Fertility cults were present in public worship and let's remember the most of the Apostolic fathers were physically tortured, persecuted, imprisoned and even martyred for their beliefs. I have found that most American Christians have no idea what real religious persecution or suffering is about.The last time I checked, we were guaranteed the freedom of practicing our beliefs and worship. Now if that changes, it's a whole different discussion.
This is the tension of our culture. We want to honor and practice our beliefs. LGBT's want to be able to be united with a partner so they can enjoy all the legal benefits of those who are married. We need to talk to each other not at each other. We need to listen with empathy and we need to steer clear of pronouncements, judgments and vitriol. We need to respect one another. Jesus practiced respect even among those with whom He disagreed. No matter what happens on this subject, Christ-followers don't get a pass on loving others!
Now the rub. Many Christians who share the historic biblical view of marriage and many LGBT's are ticked at me because I didn't go far enough on either side. What did I just say about listening to one another and demanding conformity to our beliefs? At the end of the day love wins!
1 comment:
Well said.
If there really were a separation of church and state then the government wouldn't be involved in the "marriage" question, it would be involved in the "civil union" matters for everyone and perhaps this wouldn't be so traumatic to culture and society. All civil unions would be handled by the state; all marriages would be handled by the church.
Post a Comment