Monday, December 28, 2009

2009 In the Rearview and 2010 on the Horizon

As 2009 comes to a close I am mindful of the things and areas of my life that fell short of my dreams, hopes and expectations for the year. I can recall more than one moment of disobedience in my faith, doubting moments and struggle with God. I don't have to look too far to remember times in the past year when I hurt, or disappointed those I love most.

Unlike childhood games, we don't get a "do over" in life. Words and actions can't be brought back. However, we can focus so much on our failures and shortcomings that we minimize the times we exercised faith and lived out a commitment to something greater than ourselves. An old friend used to say something familiar in recovery circles: "Don't diagnose through your guilt." He was right. It rarely serves a productive purpose.

As I recall 2009, I see the hand of a sovereign and gracious God repeatedly acting in my life. While it's been a year of incredible personal challenge, I have known God's grace, mercy, provision, blessing and healing. It's humbling to think God loves me so much that He would act in my life! I'm broken and thankful, a good place to be on the edge of a new year. My prayer for the New Year:

"Lord, thank you for your grace, protection, provision, healing, patience and discipline in 2009. Give me the courage and humility to live more for you than myself in 2010. Deepen my love for people. Make me aware of the countless moments I have to serve you by being the hands and feet of Christ in my world. Prick my conscience and sensitize my heart to sin, and give me the courage to repent when I do. Help me to exercise forgiveness toward others that equals the depth of forgiveness which I have received from you. Help me to savor the days (even the bad ones), to redeem the time and remember that I'm doing far better than I deserve. You are holy, righteous, and sovereign. Nothing can compare to Your glory! Amen."

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