Young Man With Down Syndrome Reacts To Receiving College Acceptance Letter

Watching this young man from Greenville get accepted to Clemson University never gets old!  What joy!

A Retirement Like No Other

Recently I attended the retirement ceremony and luncheon for a career police officer.  It was one of the most unusual I can remember.  Most retirements whether private, or public sector focus exclusively on the person retiring and their career.  And that's the way it should be!  After all, it's their day and it's about what they have have contributed to the business, or organization over the years.

However, this particular ceremony was less about the person retiring and more about the people who helped make his career possible.  I didn't know the officer, but it was obvious the respect the command and his fellow officers had for him.  When it was his turn to speak he asked his mother, father and adolescent son to come forward.  He made specific comments about each of them and the role they had played during his life and police career.  Much of it was about the sacrifices they had made so he could serve.  After brief comments about each person he gave them something personal and significant symbolizing the sacrifice they had made so his career was made possible.  I don't think there was a dry eye in the room and there were some very tough hombre's in that room!

As I reflected on that moment smack dab in the middle of Advent it struck me how selfless this simple act of gratitude was on the part of the retiring officer.  He chose to make his special day about others!  He didn't drown in the adulation and praise which would have been totally appropriate after such a distinguished career in law enforcement.  No, he chose to share that praise with others.  Isn't that what God did with Christ?  He chose to make Christ about us.  Not in a self-absorbed way, but in an act of sacrificial love.  Christ's Advent was/is about us, about our salvation and God's redemptive love for people.

This week I received good news about a CT scan, which is always a nerve racking few days of waiting for any cancer patient, or survivor, no matter how strong your faith.  Upon hearing the news, I smiled and said to myself: "Thank you Lord, for making my Christmas!  I have this news and my family to celebrate Christmas and there's no other gift I want, or need.  This is the best Christmas present ever.  I have everything I need by your good and great grace!"  I call that a "moment of gratitude".  The moment we realize this is way bigger than any of us and we are just a small part of a bigger picture.  As we reflect on it we are moved to a single response: gratitude.

The lieutenant's actions at the Christmas-retirement party is the attitude all of us should have this season---an attitude of gratitude.  Gratitude to loved ones, friends, co-workers, but especially gratitude to God for His incredible, indescribable gift of Jesus!

Find a way to thank God this season for all He has done for you.

I'm Not Interested in Your Call!

It's time for my annual cell phone etiquette rant.  Millennial's tune me out because you've never known life without a cell phone.  However, this isn't about your demographic.

As I write this I am sitting in a public place.  There are about 20 people counting customers and employees.  It's a very diverse group.  A 65+ year-old man seated across the room has decided to continue his conversation with his investment manager on speaker phone!  Yes, as if it wasn't bad enough when he was talking on his phone while standing in line (and as he placed his order) so we could all hear one side of the conversation, now we get to hear both sides! I am totally serious.  

How presumptuous!  How arrogant!  How rude! How selfish! This man's total disregard for those around him is astounding.  His impeccable, casual dress looks like he fell out of an Orvis, or J. Peterman catalog.  His demeanor would lead you to believe he was brought up better and with social graces.  However, I have observed that formative family income, or socio-economic standing is NO barometer for manners!  I've seen people with high social standing have zero manners and vice versa.    

What in the world is so important that you cannot step outside to have your conversation, or heaven forbid wait to take the call when you are in your car?  I'm not even gonna comment on the countless number of people who talk on their phones while someone is waiting to serve them at a retail store.  And what about those that actually have the audacity to tell the person on the other side of the cash register to wait until they finish their call!  We have become a self-consumed people.  Don't agree?  Look no further than Webster's addition of the word, "SELFIE" to the dictionary.

Go to a grocery, tire store, department store, restaurant lobby, hardware store, or doctors office and you will hear more cell phone conversations than you want to hear.  Many of them will be so loud everyone hears the conversation, or at least one side of it.  I don't like sitting next to someone on a phone call in public.  I feel like I'm eavesdropping and being rude even when I'm trying to ignore them.  But seriously, I don't care that your favorite hair stylist left the salon and the "new gal" can't do it right.  It's not going away.  But couldn't we try to be just a little more sensitive to those around us and make the call as brief as possible, excuse ourselves, or lower our voices?

I am pro technology, but I wouldn't mind going back to beeper and pager days.  Heck, I'd just like to eat my donut without hearing about your neighbor's dog constantly messing on your lawn and the legal action you are considering.  Hang up the phone please!  Excuse me, I'm sorry, I need to call my wife and admit that I had a donut because someone is gonna let her know.

RIP Madiba

 “When a man has done what he considers to be his duty to his people and his country, he can rest in peace.” Nelson Mandela

You have Madiba, you have!  Rest in peace! 

"Seasons" of Friendship

Recently a 20-something friend was sharing about a painful visit back home.  While there she saw her best friends from high school and instead of coming away encouraged and excited, she was sad.  Nothing bad happened.  There was no drama.  No one got into argument, or said anything negative.   They were basically in the same place where she left them when she went off to college four years previously.  Her friends chose to live at home during college.  That’s not good or bad just a choice they made. 

She realized that they had grown far apart.  Their friendship had little in common anymore because they all lived in different places, had different jobs, and had graduated from school, etc.  Translation:  life moved on!  This turned out to be a good thing because instead of lamenting the passing friendship she was able to be grateful for the times she had, but realized her life was different now and she had a whole new set of friends.  She had grown up.  Her interests were different.  Her conversations were different.  Their values were different.  Her bills were, well they were now hers, LOL!  You get the idea. 

 

I believe there are people that come into our lives and we are brought into theirs for a season.  Some seasons span a college or Navy hitch, others a few years, and some span many years before they draw to a close.  Some friendships, and they are rare, can stretch a lifetime.  However, most of us would be hard pressed to rattle off the cell phone number of our best friend from high school, or college.  It’s life. 

We grow up, we move on.  And it even happens in our adult years.  I suppose this is different for people who stay in one place for a long time, or return to live in their hometown.  But for the rest of the multi-job, multi-home, multi-career and sadly for some, multi-marriage, mobile culture it is not that way.   Time, distance, family dynamics, personal growth, habits, interests and simply available time all change things. 

Friendship is supposed to be about emptying yourself and filling the other person.  It’s not supposed to be one sided.  And we aren’t supposed to agree upon everything.  Heck, where’s the fun in that?  However, sometimes there’s little “here and now” to draw upon and the friendship can only pull from the past so it becomes draining instead of encouraging.  It’s like being married to an addict and one day the co-dependent spouse wakes up and realizes his/her addicted spouse isn’t going to change and they continue to have the same old conversations and promises of sobriety, but then the dreadful behavior is repeated and the relationship is very one-sided.  Friendship can be that way.  One person can give and give and give, but the other simply takes.   When truth is spoken in love it’s viewed as threat.  Healthy friendships can take the good and the bad for the long haul.  Truth spoken in love by a good friend is viewed as investing in my growth because deep within I know it was spoken in love.  If we can’t speak truth in love in our friendships are they really friendships?

Ask yourself if any of your relationships are draining instead of filling you.  Maybe it’s time to simply move on.  Am I draining any of my friends?  Thank God for the good times and what you have been given, but it’s okay to let the friendship shift to the “Christmas Card” and occasional Facebook lookup.  Nobody is mad, nobody leaves hurt, it’s just not what it used to be and it’s okay!  You have simply grown apart. 

On the other side of 50, I’m more interested in relationships that are filling me and letting me fill them as I empty myself.    I’m pretty much done with the one-sided ones.  Life is too short, I need to redeem the time and I’m just not gonna let a relationship rob my joy. 

After reflecting on what happened my young friend smiled and realized this wasn’t a bad thing.  It was simply the ebb and flow of life.  Thank God for ALL the friends we’ve had, or been a friend to over the years at various seasons in our lives!  Maybe this Christmas season you drop one or two of them a card and simply thank them!