My Friend Alan & A Blog Break

I'm overdue for a blog break, but before I get there let me share some words about my friend Alan.   I was in my native Kentucky last weekend at the gracious invitation of a pastoral colleague for whom I have the greatest affection, respect and admiration.  Alan Chamness has been faithfully serving in pastoral ministry for 41 years and nearly all of them at the same church!  He's been doing this so long he has grandkids in youth ministry!   I'm not kidding.  I mean children who grew up in Alan's student ministry have grown up, gotten married and now have there own  children.  So many of his kids from student ministry have gone on to serve in pastoral, music, and student ministry, missions and other places of service in local churches.  He also has "kids" who've gone on to be leaders in industry, law, fine arts, education and much more.  He has to be among the top five local church leaders in the state of Kentucky who have had a significant number of students  surrender to God's call to vocational ministry as a result of his ministry and influence.  Many of them came and brought their children this weekend.  It was a privilege just to be asked to be part of this annual ministry weekend.  

At 60, Alan is indeed a rare bird in student ministry.  An accomplished worship leader, musician and minister of music he could've given up  student ministry a long time ago, but he didn't.  The reason?  He is called and he absolutely loves young people.  He has an incredible ability to communicate with them.  He understands teenagers.  He did 30 years ago and he still does today.  I am continually amazed just how open and free students are with Alan.  What a gift.  

Alan has forgotten more about worship and pastoral ministry than most of us will ever learn. He's never been big on self-promotion.  He has a great sense of humor and the fact that he was behind the scenes of his own event nearly the entire weekend speaks to his humility.  He's not going to be happy that I wrote this, but he knows the way I'm wired so he'll accept it.  He's quite comfortable at getting the right people together and turning them loose to live out of their gifts.   The alternative is usually a control freak in pastoral ministry circles.   Alan's theology is solid, but instead of engaging  in those mind-numbing theological discussions that are nearly always full of hot air and lack the simplicity of the Gospel, Alan lives his out through: unconditional love; grace; and self-less giving.   I'm not sure Alan will be allowed to die.  He has influenced and reached so many people for Christ that God may not want him to leave earth until Jesus comes!  There's still people he can reach for Christ.  :) 

Thanks Alan ("B.B.") for the invite and First Baptist Church, Henderson, KY, is awfully blessed to have you on staff.  Sure you don't want to move to South Carolina?  

I'm going to take a blog break for at least a week as our faith community prepares to move to new facilities, well uh, new to us.  More on that later.    

John's Mom and Yours

18-year old John Challis was supposed to be dead two years ago from cancer.  His valiant battle, mission and story should remind all of us, regardless of the load we carry, that we have a purpose. You can read about John's incredible outlook on life at the link below from the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.

http://www.postgazette.com/pg/08125/878966-85.stm

As Mother's Day weekend arrives, I'll bet John's mother is as proud as a mother can be of her son.  She has shared her gift from God with the rest of the world.  Many would be tempted to keep him all to themselves as cancer eats away his precious life clock.  She has made a sacrifice to share him at such a critical time.  She will sacrifice again as his 93 pound frame gets smaller and smaller.

Mother's routinely make personal sacrifices for their children.  Both of our mother's and my wife have made more than their fair share of sacrifices for their kids.  I'm indebted to all three of these women and the beneficiary of many of their sacrifices.  Ann, Donna and Terese, embody the unconditional, sacrificial and tenacious kind of love that only comes from a mother.  

As a pastor, I'm well aware through deep personal conversations that not everyone can say that about their mother. After all, we do live in a depraved and fallen world. If that was your experience I'm so sorry. However, let me encourage you to be the kind of mother that you wanted and needed. Even if you don't have children, you can still provide that kind of love and nurture to someone God has placed in your life.  And hopefully, like John Challis, you will live out your purpose and be part of something much larger than yourself.

Happy Mother's Day to John's Mom and mothers everywhere!

p.s.  Call your Mom this weekend.  If she's no longer living thank God for the gift of life she gave you.  

Loving Honesty

In Ephesians 4, the Apostle Paul talks about unity in the Body of Christ.  He stresses that the unifier is Jesus Christ.  In verse 15, Paul shares a powerful and little exercised truth:

5 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.

Speaking the truth in love is something our society seems to have difficulty practicing.  We have become so strangled by the "PC" police that we avoid hard conversations and discussions for fear of offending, being ostracized, or risk the loss of popularity.  Let's face it, everyone wants to be liked and saying tough stuff is not fun.  

Families, marriages and churches should be fertile ground for truth-telling in love.  And yet these places seem to be among the most in short supply of honest conversations.  From parents who won't say hard things in love for fear of alienating a wayward teen, to couples who fear being honest in love could disturb otherwise placid-appearing marital waters, to addictive behaviors that are loathed but tolerated to maintain peace.  

Churches can be worse.  One of the primary reasons people leave a church is because of unresolved conflict.  Peel back the layers and usually you'll find that the conflict could have been minimized, or resolved if both sides had just sat down and spoken the truth in love.  However, we often take the path of least resistance and someone ends up leaving.  Or, we talk to everyone else about the conflict, or concern, except for the very person, or group who is the source of the conflict.  

It's not easy to speak truth in love.  It takes a lot of courage.  Every time you practice it you take a risk, but you also sleep better at night.   Paul notes that speaking the truth in love is the sign of personal growth, or spiritual maturity.  It's also hard to hear the truth spoken in love without getting defensive.  Receiving the truth in love is also a sign of growth. 

This week someone who loves me very much spoke the truth in love.  It was hard to hear and yes, I got a little defensive.  As someone who has to speak the truth in love, I knew immediately how hard it must have been.  And upon reflection and processing what was said, I've begun the difficult work of self-examination.  This will undoubtedly be more uncomfortable than I would like, but it's a start.  The next step will be change on my part.  It's going to be hard and it will take some time.  Because it was shared in love, I know it was not said to hurt, or wound me.  It was said to help me be better and to grow.  I'm going to approach this as a growth opportunity and a chance to flex my faith muscles. 

"Lord, help me and may your grace comfort the one who shared.  Thank you for the depth of their love and the courage it took speak.  Help me to be as loving when I have to speak difficult truths in the future."  

Clinging to Jesus

Events and conversations of the last few days have me clinging to Jesus.  I can't "fix it" and I just can't find any words to express the cry of my heart.  The words of David Crowder's song "Never Let Go" seem to say it all.  May they wash over your soul as well.

When clouds veil sun
And disaster comes 
Oh, my soul
Oh, my soul
When waters rise
And hope takes flight
Oh, my soul
Oh, my soul
Oh, my soul

Ever faithful 
Ever true
You I know
You never let go
You never let go
You never let go
You never let go

When clouds brought rain
And disaster came
Oh, my soul
Oh, my soul
When waters rose
And hope had flown
Oh, my soul
Oh, my soul
Oh, my soul

Oh, my soul
Overflows
Oh, what love, oh, what love
Oh, my soul
Fills with hope
Perfect love that never lets go

Oh, what love, oh what love
Oh, what love, oh what love
In joy and pain
In sun and rain
You’re the same
Oh, You never let go

Never Let Go by David Crowder, Mike Dodson & Mike Hogan; Copyright 2007, worshiptogether.com songs, sixsteps Music; Inot Music-Admin. by EMI Christian Music Publishing

Rest Sweet Claire Rest in Jesus!

Earth is a little darker tonight, but heaven is brighter.  Our precious little Claire Bear died in her sleep after a valiant battle with Leigh's disease.  Reading Scripture, anointing  her precious little forehead and praying with her today was sweet.  Death was calling, but heaven was lurking behind it.  You always felt the presence of Jesus in Claire's presence, but this evening it was more pronounced than ever.  

The Psalmist wrote, "Precious in the eyes of the Lord is the death of his saints."  Saint Claire is now with Jesus and realizing His priority of child-like faith when He told the disciples to let the children come to Him in the tenth chapter of Mark's gospel.  "For such is the kingdom of heaven."  

Sweet Claire seemed to have a lifetime of love crammed into that little  5-year old frame that most adults don't ever experience.  Her presence and personality oozed Jesus.  She touched far more people than we will ever know, but God does.  Tonight she rests and basks in the arms of Jesus, but no feeding tube, no morphine, no doctors, no oxygen, and no tears.  Just Jesus.  We long to see Him too, and one day will join you precious girl.   Rest my sweet child and sister in Christ, rest in Jesus. 

Marriage Proposal by Vancouver Air Traffic Controller

This is a refreshing audio clip of a Vancouver Air Traffic Controller proposing to his fiance' who is on an inbound flight to his airport. So very cool to hear the normally straight-laced, all business controller and pilot world show their human side.  This has to be the ultimate marriage proposal. Click on the link below, turn up your speakers and listen closely all the way through.  Enjoy something lighter and fun in the never-ending sea of pain, violence and bad news that seems to drown us each day.  

http://www.futurastudios.com/atc-marry-me.html

Parents Who Sought the Greater Good

The parents of 18-year old, Ryan Schallenberger deserve our prayers and gratitude. Ryan is the straight "A" student in Chesterfield, South Carolina (northeast) who was arrested for allegedly planning to bomb his high school. His parents called authorities Saturday, after they discovered their son had ordered 10 lbs., of ammonium nitrate through the Internet. People make bombs with ammonium nitrate. According to news reports the U.S. attorney is planning to charge the student with attempting to use a weapon of mass destruction, which carries a possible life sentence. Additional federal charges are expected to be brought against the teenager, who they believe was plotting the bombing for several months. Police report that they found a "hate-filled journal" the teen had written offering praise for the Columbine killers.

The AP story praises the parents but also raises concerns about the lack of response from professionals in their attempts to seek help for Ryan before discovering the ammonium nitrate order:

"We applaud these parents and we're very thankful they chose to be concerned and they chose to get involved. We feel like they saved a lot of life in our county," Chesterfield County Sheriff Sam Parker said Tuesday on ABC's "Good Morning America."

Schallenberger's parents had sought help from mental health experts even earlier in the week when he slammed his head into a wall, but the clinic offered no help, authorities said Monday. His parents took him to a hospital but he was not badly injured, said prosecutor Jay Hodge.

Schallenberger was charged with making a bomb threat and was to be charged Tuesday with possession of bomb-making material, Hodge said. The prosecutor said he would request at a bail hearing Tuesday that the teen undergo a mental health evaluation.

Education, mental health and community officials constantly counsel parents, educators, clergy, healthcare professionals and parents to be on the alert for possible warning signs of a kid who is troubled, or headed in the wrong direction. Too often parents are in complete denial and no one discovers there is a serious problem until it's too late as was the case of Columbine and last year's Virginia Tech campus shootings, just to name two of many examples. However, in this case we need to thank these parents for genuinely seeking to get help for their son and the seriousness with which they treated the discovery of the explosive ingredients. Ryan's mother and stepfather, John and Laurie Sittley, deserve our prayers. They are undoubtedly heartbroken. Who wouldn't be? Ryan also deserves our prayers and even more so, if these allegations are in fact true.

I cannot imagine the pain, guilt, and sadness this couple must feel right now, but I only hope they can find some comfort in the fact that they may have at worse, saved countless young lives from another unspeakable tragedy, and minimally gotten help their son appears to so desperately need. I pray their community will embrace them with loving, non-judging arms for doing the right thing.

Parents, educators, youth leaders, friends of students and others connected to teens, please take a cue from the Sittley's courageous act. This is responsible parenting! I would rather someone be completely off base about a potential act of devastating violence, than to stand beside the hospital beds, or gravesides of potential victims lamenting, "If we had only known."

This should be a wake-up call to anyone (parents, coaches, teachers, etc.,) who relate to children and teenagers in any capacity. They need our love, encouragement, and listening ears. They also need us to be responsible and objective so one day they will be able to do the same with their own children and succeeding generations.