Happy Golden Anniversary SHBC! - My 1st Church

I’ve been invited to speak at the 50th anniversary celebration of my first church. I’m really looking forward to the fall weekend in my native Kentucky. Lexington is beautiful this time of year if it’s not raining.

Southern Heights Baptist Church in Lexington, KY, took a chance on a young, green, zealous seminary student in 1991. Tenured saints loved, nurtured, admonished and encouraged me in my formative days of pastoral ministry. I owe these precious people a debt I cannot repay. They made an investment in my family and my ministry. They patiently endured my very average preaching and teaching. They taught me more about pastoral ministry and doing “life together” than they will ever realize. They loved my wife who had never served in the critical and all too often lonely role as a pastor’s partner in ministry. They loved my kids and poured the love of God and His Word into them.

Each church where I’ve served on the pastoral staff is still precious to me. You invest so much in the churches where you minister and you leave a piece of yourself with each. That’s a good thing because it means we invest our lives in them instead of treating them as a “9 to 5” job. Yes, every church where a minister serves has its own set of challenges and conflict, but each place of service has brought us far more joy and growth than disappointment or pain.

For 50 years this congregation (“the little church on the hill”) in the heart of Lexington has loved people through fellowship, worship and missions. They have weathered their share of conflict, heartache, joy, challenge, and kept the faith. They have always had a heart for ministry and missions.

I’m a better person, Christ-follower and pastor because of their patience, prayers and nurture. They are poised for great things under the leadership of their current pastor, Dr. Terry Leap. Thanks to the sinners and saints (many who’ve gone on to heaven) of SHBC for their faithfulness, correction, growth, encouragement, support and prayers over the years. We are grateful to God for you. Happy Anniversary and may the blessings of God be yours!

Is Sorrow Your Enemy or Friend?

My heart is often heavy for the people I love. I am tenaciously loyal to family and friends, sometimes to a fault. However, I choose to default to love. I cannot just turn my love on and off even in times of disappointment, challenge or trouble. I’m just not wired that way. Sometimes their heartache and sorrows overwhelm me because like a typical male, I want to “fix it,” or make it just “go away,” and I can’t.

Not long ago I heard a speaker ask, “Is sorrow your friend or your enemy?” It really challenged me. More times in my life I’ve treated sorrow, disappointment, heartache and challenge as my enemy instead of learning valuable lessons from them. Sorrow can be a great teacher if we will learn from it.

Do you run from sorrow or pain? Do you ignore it and hope it will just go away? Do you treat it lightly and without regard? Do you suppress it as if to say it does not affect your life? Now that last one is really amusing because sorrow affects EVERY one of us and eventually accumulates when we dismiss or ignore it. There are many responses to sorrow and most of them are not positive. But there are some positives we can take away from our sorrows.

Sorrow gives every Christ-follower an opportunity to exercise their faith. It doesn’t mean we ignore or deny the existence of sorrow as if to say that Christ-followers are immune to it. Let’s remember our Lord’s heart was deeply troubled and filled with sorrow. Isaiah (53) even refers to Him as the “Man of Sorrows”. I take great comfort in knowing Jesus, God’s very own Son experienced sorrow. It means He understands and knows how sorrow affects us!

I want to challenge you to make sorrow your friend. I don’t mean walk around in a terminal melancholy state like the character “Eyeore” from Winnie the Pooh. We need to learn from our sorrow. We need to let sorrow speak and guide us. Sorrow has taught me some enduring lessons in patience, prayer, faith, second-chances, grace, and even darkness. When we embrace sorrow we acknowledge that God is Lord over ALL things. I know I forget that when sorrow is trying to swallow me.

This perspective is very different from the world’s view of sorrow. However, when we embrace sorrow we recognize that God is so much bigger. I’m not saying it doesn’t affect us, but if we begin to see God over (sovereign) our sorrow we no longer have to live afraid, or on the run from it. We trust God. And that is probably the greatest difference between those who befriend sorrow and those who don’t. During my winter to spring illness this year I learned to trust God in the face of sorrow. I still had a tough road to travel, but it was much different from the past when I often surrendered to sorrow. Trust God, it works!

Embracing sorrow makes joy full, real and more meaningful. And joy makes all the difference in daily living.

UNSUBSCRIBE!

Remember the last time you “unsubscribed” from an email list? I just did it last night. I got a solicitation for a conference that was going to be held in Charlotte by an organization for church leaders. I attended one of their conferences about five years ago with a friend and they put me on their e-list. Five years ago this specific conference was just getting off the ground. Its leaders were tired and the information they shared was really about five years behind the leadership curve. The primary leaders/speakers used to be at the top of the leadership mountain, but this particular conference and new organization seemed more like a 401K tour for the leaders’ eventual retirement. The information they offered was very good if you hadn’t attended a conference or read a book on leadership in the last five years.

Tired ideas, dated concepts and the sarcastic cynicism or wisecracks from the leaders' presentation turned me off. It turned off my friend as well. So when I got an email from them yesterday soliciting a conference under the same name, but in new clothing, I exercised my right to “UNSUBSCRIBE”. Poof their gone and they will never get a chance to market, position, advertise or talk to me again. Remember, while email is impersonal, there’s an aspect where it’s very personal. Think about it: you get to someone’s laptop or computer in the privacy of their office, workplace or home. Years before you never made it past the mailbox before it found its way into the circular file. They agreed to accept your announcements or emails when they gave you their email address. However, the window of opportunity is only open for a short time. Failure to meet a need, or perceived irrelevance quickly becomes the basis for “unsubscribing”.

People “unsubscribe” from everything. Businesses, churches, schools, volunteer organizations, doctors, and even government regularly experience the “unsubscribe” movement. It may not be through email. Many “unsubscribe” with their feet, checkbooks, or presence. It’s why first impressions or experiences count.

When people “unsubscribe” from a businesses, or church they are telling us that something is wrong. When we fail to acknowledge it we are like the cook in the kitchen who refuses to admit the low tips his waiters/waitresses are getting has anything to do with the sub-par, or cold food he’s putting out. Poor service, or a less than desired experience can prompt someone to “unsubscribe”. Yes, sometimes expectations are unrealistic, or the “unsubscribe” action is based on a misperception. However most of the time the “unsubscribe” action is valid. All the more reason to make sure we aren’t advertising something we are unable to deliver.

When people check out we need to find out why. Sure, we may not always be able to change, or adjust to their concerns, especially if it’s over a stated value, or the organization’s mission, but we need to be willing to listen and learn. Wise is the leader who doesn’t take every “unsubscribe” personally, but takes it to heart as he/she assesses his/her organization, business or church.

By Your Side - Tenth Avenue North

No matter how bad it may seem He's by your side! Let the music and lyrics of 10th Avenue North remind all of us that God's presence through Christ is the work and promise of the cross.

The Problem of Presumption in The Racial Dialogue

Let's get this out right now. Racism is alive and well in the United States. For those who deny it just ask any person of color. It appears on many levels, some blatant and some not so obvious. It did not end when President Obama was sworn into the highest office in our land. While our country has made great strides in racial differences we still have a long way to go. Stay with me this probably isn't going to go where it may seem. For those of us who choose to follow Christ racism is wrong and forbidden by our life book, the Bible. When a self-professing Christ-follower attempts to justify, dismiss, rationalize, or compartmentalize racism we are ignoring the authority of the Word of God and that is sin.

Trying to encourage open dialogue on race and gender differences a seminary professor of mine used to say, "We all have biases, presuppositions and prejudices, it's to what degree." His point was that we all have them and the first step is to acknowledge them. Here's an example. As a white, middle-aged American male, I must admit that "avoidance" is the first thought that enters my mind when I see a tinted and tricked out car full of young Hispanics, or African American teens with loud music. Busted! My presupposition is wrong. Without personally knowing any of the teens, I immediately jump to doubt and skepticism. My court of opinion condemns them to a juvenile detention center without any evidence. That's wrong. Oh I suppose I could rationalize my thoughts by pointing out that I have friends of color who have said they have the same reaction in similar circumstances, but that takes the responsibility off me. I might even add that I have the same reaction if the teens in the car are white, but the fact remains that I come to the situation with unfounded presuppositions. We all do. Why is that so hard to admit?

What do you suppose the reaction would be if we asked Rev. Al Sharpton to speak to an all white, congregation in the deep South on Sunday? Let's be fair. What do you suppose the reaction would be if Congressman Joe Wilson of SC was invited to speak at an African American church in Harlem, NY? Our answers would be purely subjective and speculative.

One of the biggest problems with discussions about race is our tendency to read more into comments people make without knowing them personally. Equally wrong is when we pretend to know or judge someones motives. Syndicated columnist Maureen Dowd seems to have done just that with SC Republican Congressman, Joe Wilson, suggesting that what the Congressman intended to say when he yelled out "You lie," during the President's address to a joint session of Congress last week was "You lie, boy." You can read Dowd's commentary for yourself here. Perhaps I've misread her point.

Maureen Dowd makes me think. I don't always agree with her, but her writing makes me think critically. I think that's a good thing. However, she has crossed the line and moved from analysis to presumption. I don't know Congressman Wilson. His comments were rude, out of place, and lacked civil decorum and I told him as much in an email to his congressional office within minutes of the joint session. He apologized to the President for his outburst and the President accepted his apology. The House of Representatives felt that was not enough and voted to rebuke Wilson largely along party lines. However, let's be clear, the Congressman did not say "You lie boy." Dowd has presumed to know the Congressman's heart and exactly what he was thinking when he opened his mouth and inserted his foot. Her critique is equally as dangerous because it presumes to state something that only Congressman Wilson knows for sure and that is the motives behind his outburst.

Equally disturbing are the recent comments by former President Carter who stated that he also believes racism was behind Wilson's comments. Read his comments here. I respect his opinion, and am well aware of his efforts to bridge the racial divide, but I must disagree with him. Unless, President Carter knows Congressman Wilson personally and knows him to be a racist, his opinion is equally inflammatory and presumptuous. President Carter has reminded all of us that race is still an issue we need to discuss and address. He is right. However, his remarks would have been better served in a face to face meeting with the Congressman instead of a headline-grabbing comment in a public forum with the media in attendance. Public arm-chair quarterbacking on serious issues like race is dangerous. It's dangerous because opposite sides can't sit down and look each other in the eye. It's a one-sided argument because both sides aren't sitting at the table of discussion and debate. When that happens we attempt to speak for someone else without giving them the opportunity to do so.

Ms. Dowd and the former president appear to know Congressman Wilson very well. But someone who knows the Congressman better than any of us, his son, strongly disagrees with their opinion and assessment. His comments are based on a personal and intimate relationship with the Congressman for many years. It's been said that you don't know a person until you live with them. It would seem the adult son's card of experience trumps the opinions of a former president and noted journalist. See the son's comments here.

Dowd, Wilson and the former president aside, my point is that we must have an ongoing dialogue in our country about racial differences. We must be open and honest about our struggles or concerns with race. Conjecture, opinion and judgmental assesments is no substitute for truth. And truth cannot be discerned until we talk to each other and get to know each other. There's nothing wrong with opinions, but when they replace fact based on experience they can become lightning rods to start fires that will never be extinguished.

Years ago while in seminary I had the opportunity to travel much of the Holy Land with a very diverse group of theological students, community and business leaders from the U.S. One thing I couldn't help but notice was how very "white" I was in the land where Jesus walked and taught. I stood out. I began to see Jesus differently. His words and actions took on a whole new meaning to me. While I knew Jesus was a dark-skinned, Palestinian born, Jew, I could not fully appreciate it until I walked where He walked. Racially I was an outsider. Racially I was in the minority. Racially I stood out among the many beautiful people I met. I'll never forget the hospitality shown to us near Mt. Horeb (Sinai) by a Bedouin, Palestinian family. These people of a different religion and race insisted that we come inside their little home for dandelion tea! They served all 25+ of us on that dirt floor. They showed hospitality to total strangers. It struck me how very much like Jesus they were acting to people who talked and looked very different from them. It was very humbling. They simply chose to focus on the needs of another human being, not color, language or ethnic background. How very Jesus (Luke 10:25ff)!

Maybe it's time the world (let's start with Congress) sat down for some dandelion tea.

Headlines and Other Notes

Here's some observations and/or comments on some recent headlines and some web links to help you reach your own opinion.

• Rest in peace Patrick Swayze you fought a valiant battle

• Theologian Al Mohler is right, the gospel cannot be reduced to "being a good person".
  

• Kanye you need help. I hope you get it.

• SC Congressman Wilson has apologized to the President and he accepted. Time to move on.

• Governor Sanford, it's time. Your administration is paralyzed and no longer taken seriously.

• Carolina and Clemson fans take heart, your teams played hard and there's a lot of season left.

• The "Fall Classic" is fast approaching as MLB heads toward the playoffs. Baseball, truly American.

• The FBI reports that violent crime is down nationwide, but property crime is up.
  

Waiting, Longing and Loving

Several months ago we adopted a 7-year old American bulldog named Hogan. Hogan has the blood pressure of an anvil, which is one of the things that really attracted us to him. He has puppy flashback moments, but for the most part he’s just chilled out. Food and a trip to the yard are among the few things that excite him. Except when we come home.

When we come home Hogan can be found waiting just inside the door. He’s smart too. He knows the sounds of our cars and the garage door so he knows whether it’s family or not. When it’s family you can open the door and he’s got his head lowered like a bull, does a little dance and then extends a paw to you as if to shake, or invite you to dance with him. He just drinks you in with unconditional love and a welcome that says, “I don’t care what you just left, or what kind of day you’re having I’m thrilled your home and I love you very much, now how about some food?”

Most of the time you can feel the entry mat just inside the door and it’s very warm. Hogan actually lays at the spot closest to where we’ve been before leaving. He wants to be near. I know it’s true because my wife says he does this whenever I leave. Oh yeah, sometimes he sits at the back door and cries for us.

Recently I read the three “lost” parables that Jesus told in Luke 15 about the lost sheep, lost coin and the lost son. In each case the owner lost something of great value and searched for it, or in the case of the father losing the son, longed for him. Did you know God feels this way about us? He searches, waits and longs for us. He desires our presence, worship and affection. We are His delight.

Sometimes I leave the house and my thoughts aren’t about God. I have things to do, people to see, meetings, phone calls and many things on my mind. I walk out the door heading into a tough world and leave Jesus at the door, much like I do our dog, Hogan. More often than not, we do this mentally, spiritually or emotionally. We don’t intend to leave Jesus, but we become so immersed in our “stuff” that we begin to exclude Him. And the more we do it, the farther away we get from Him. And He waits. He waits for my return and yours. He longs to be with us. He longs to go with us. He longs for us.

No matter how far we’ve drifted or wandered He delights in our return. When we return more than a wagging tail, bowed head, or extended paw greets us. God’s delight in the return of His children is pure celebration. The imagery Jesus uses to describe it is party language in Luke 15:

20And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. 21And the son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.' 22But the father said to his servants, 'Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. 23And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. 24For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.' And they began to celebrate.

Hogan’s daily greetings are wonderful, but they don’t even come close to the way God greets us when we return to Him. Has the distance grown farther between you and God? No matter how far you’ve drifted, or how long it’s been, He’s waiting and longing to lavish His love on you. Open your heart to His love.

The Youngest Steeler

11-year old Heather Miller as a rare cancer called Ewing Sarcoma. This life-time Steelers fan stole the heart of Steeler safety, Troy Polamalu who met her 8 months ago during one of his frequent visits to the Children's Hospital of Pittsburgh. Heather faces yet another surgery on Friday, but not before she gets to watch her beloved Steelers face off against the Titans tonight!

This courageous little girl wears a green wristband with the acronym, F.R.O.G., which stands for Fully Rely on God. She has captured the hearts of the entire Steelers team. While I'm not a Steelers fan because of my beloved Colts, I've got to give it up for the Steelers. In a day and age when we seem to hear more about arrests records and court appearances by professional athletes it's refreshing to find some good news. We need to be reminded that the majority of professional athletes aren't selfish, careless thugs only bent on money. In fact, most of them are father's, son's, brothers, and husbands. They have family struggles like all of us. Read the story below how these massive and healthy pro athletes have adopted this real-life hero. While cancer has ravaged Heather's body with countless treatments and surgeries, it has not stolen her heart. May her courage and attitude encourage you. Just click on the link below:

Heather Miller and the Steelers

Church Dragons

Leadership Journal (a trade magazine for those in ministry) editor, Marshall Shelly wrote a timeless book for church leaders many years ago. The book is entitled, Well Intentioned Dragons. The book was given to me by a veteran couple in ministry upon my ordination 20 years ago. It is among some annual favorite reads of mine like Tozer's "Knowing God", Piper's "Desiring God" and "Mere Christianity" by C.S. Lewis. It is not a weighty theological work. However, it is an extremely practical book for those in ministry who regularly face well-intentioned dragons. My friends knew it would just be a matter of time before I faced my first dragon. I've yet to serve a church, or in a ministry that did not have at least one dragon. I've shared these before, but ran across them again while doing research on a particular dragon and thought I should share them again.

Wanna know more about the dragons? Shelly identifies around 10, but there are more. For the tenured Christ-followers and church members among us see if you recognize any of these:

• The Bird Dog-Always points out things ministers should focus on, or address. They complain a lot and few of them ever offer to be part of a solution. The rarer breed of Superspiritual Bird Dog couches everything in spiritual terms and often leaves those in ministry defensive. Their criticism is usually caustic but veiled in spiritual language so it never comes off quite as an attack of complete arrogance. Superspiritual Bird Dog's always have to comment, or offer their opinion and they never seek spiritual help or advice.
• The Wet Blanket-"We've always done it this way," is there motto. They complain and drain the very life out of leaders. They want things to stay the same. Change rattles their security. Their disposition is like the Pooh character, Eyeore. This dragon is downright negative. You wonder if they have ever experienced pure joy.
• Captain Bluster-All the subtleness of a Bulldog puppy. He's right and everyone else is wrong. Don't try and teach new concepts or even challenge. Disagreement is not only viewed as division and disunity, but outright threat. Loud and loves to share her/his views in public settings so many people can hear. Shelly says, "This kind of a person is a steamroller who flattens anyone in hhis way with his overwhelming certainty that his is the only way to do it."
• The Entrepreneur-You can't turn him/her off. Always eager to meet new people, greet, and serve. Especialky in hospitality because they are always searching for their next sales call. Whether it's vitamins, long distance phone service, or a network purchasing club, they see church members and attenders as potential clients. This dragon will turn people off. Most will simply run and never return.
• The Fickle Financier-Always uses money/finances to influence decisions and register his/her approval or disapproval. Pastors salaries and benefits are especially on their radar. The spiritual temperature of the congregation can be through the roof, but if giving is behind budget someone will be getting a call. They either give a lot, which convinces them they should decide where all of it goes, or they actually give none to little, but talk a good line. Those with money like to throw their weight around and all of them have control issues.
• The BusyBody-Need I explain? This person enjoys telling others how to do their jobs and has the scoop on every one else. He/she is just looking for an eager ear to unload a juicy tidbit. This is perhaps one of the most dangerous dragons of all.
• The Sniper-An artist at picking off pastors and leaders without ever meeting them face to face. Favorite position is the "behind the back" attack. Has never read Matthew 18:15ff. Potshots and negative remarks, sometimes veiled in spiritual language is an artform for these dragons. They love everything about conflict except facing it. Combine this dragon with one who has BusyBody characteristics and you've got an Rx for congregational cancer.
• The Legalist-Catches every jot and tittle, as well as typos in church publications, websites and song slides. Is a legal beagle, or stickler for processes to the extreme. They live on absolutes but the list is rarely applied to themselves. They cite the church by-laws and Roberts Rules of Order more than they do Jesus, or Scripture. To watch them in action you wonder how God ever birthed and moved His church without a committee, or 27-page vision plan and six month process that rarely has prayer among its agenda.

Shelly says you can't identify dragons by their appearance, or simply by listening to them. "The distinguishing characteristic of a dragon is not what is said but how it's said." They are often adversarial or combative and rarely see the "big picture" because they choose to focus on single issues, or chase rabbits. Shelly notes they are quick to criticize and slow to apologize. They rarely seek forgiveness because they would never view themselves as doing anything wrong. Dragons can quickly become clergy killers. One dragon is usually not a problem, or deal maker for those contemplating bailing on their current ministry. It's the accumulative affect and toll their fire takes over the years of dealing with many dragons.

Dragons destroy excitement and joy. They drain the life out of you and sidetrack your purpose and mission. They sap strength and energy from the Body. Most of the time dragons are people in deep pain, or living conflicted lives. For many these issues stem from childhood, their parents, or some source of pain, or dysfunction. Dragons are among the most difficult people to love. But loving them is not optional. In fact, I believe it's foundational.

Dragons need help, encouragement, truth spoken in love and leaders with backbone. Fortunately, our elders wear asbestos clothing, have and will confront dragons when necessary. I've seen reformed dragons become incredible forces for Christ and the church. I've also watched many a dragon slip off into caves of misery, depression, or uncontrolled anger. Sometimes their attacks are personal and other times they have nothing to do with you specifically, but what the leader represents. I have also found that most of the time when a dragon blows its fire on a leader, it usually does not personally know the leader and makes assumptions, or jumps to conclusions that just aren't true. One dragon in a very large church where I served routinely attacked our pastor as not being personal. Nothing could have been further from the truth. But when I peeled back the layers I discovered the dragon really didn't know our pastor.

If you've got a dragon in your life (they aren't confined to churches) whether it's at work, family, your child's little league team, band boosters, or your neighborhood, remember to live biblically. In other words, don't let the dragon dictate how you are going to respond to their fire-belching attacks. He/she can't control how we choose to respond. Shelly is spot on when he quotes Jonathan Edwards, "Resolved: that all men should live for the glory of God. Resolved second: that whether others do or not, I will."

Got a dragon in your life?

• pray for them,
  
• tell God about it and ask for His wisdom and advice
  
• practice speaking the truth in love
• never meet alone with a a dragon and document all communication
• if possible get to know them better and vice versa
  
• You are responsible for your response but NOT their words and actions
  
• You can't "fix" them, only God can
• Know when you are tired, cranky or vulnerable and susceptible to a dragon attack
• Read about them, or their personality type in leadership and organizational culture books, articles, and websites----do your homework

Finally, and often the most difficult, but Christ-honoring:

• love them unconditionally while practicing biblical forgiveness and reconciliation
  

And remember, unconditional love does not mean the validation and tacit approval of sinful behavior. Or the blind, unchallenged acceptance of personal attacks. Leaders are not called to be a doormat, but God does expect us to model humility.