Monday, March 24, 2014

Atta Boy, Atta Gal!

One of the best questions a minister can ask a prospective church committee, elders, or senior staff is: "How does the church affirm its ministerial staff?"  I can't recall how many times that answer has found a response of silence from people interviewing someone for a church staff position.

Most people reason, "Well, we pay them isn't that enough?"  No, it's not!  Everyone wants to be affirmed.  A steady diet of negatives, complaints and criticism can take its toll.  Affirmation is something churches need to learn and practice.  A minister has a 100+ bosses at any given moment.  Think about trying to please 100+ people.   As soon as you please one, someone is going to be upset, or critical because the thing that pleases one displeases another.  It's a no win.

Recently, a minister friend had a medical procedure.  It wasn't major, but it was beyond a strep culture, or routine exam.  Leaders knew about it, but not one of them called, emailed or stopped to pray with him the day(s) before.  One woman called and asked if she could pray the night before the procedure.  Other members just "assumed" leadership, or other members were reaching out.  And my friend said, "That woman has no idea what she did and the difference she made!"  That's a great example of natural affirmation.  She was simply considering another.

Affirmation is far more than financial gifts, or perks.  Affirmation gets to a sense of value.  Little things like notes, emails, phone calls, and "no agenda" lunches mean more than anyone can know.  Why? Because they say, "I appreciate/value you."  Some of the most successful companies and organizations in the U.S. not only know the importance of affirming team members, but they have made it a corporate value.  They celebrate their team members and they do it regularly because it generates a win-win atmosphere.

A precious saint of God now residing in heaven regularly practiced the ministry of affirmation when I served in my first church staff position.  I was the student minister and she was well into her senior adult years by then.  "Miss Cora," would regularly write notes of affection, encouragement and Scripture to me.  She knew we were struggling with two kids, still in seminary and commuting 90 miles from Louisville to the church to serve two to three times a week.  Every now and then she would tuck some money into the notecard.  Hear me, those cards were priceless without the gift, but she knew it would help buy a pizza or video rental on the weekend because we didn't have the funds to do it.

Cora made me feel special.  In fact, for the longest time we thought we were the only ones.  Upon leaving and going to our first pastorate we learned that Cora had been doing that for years for everyone, not just me!  She was a true Barnabas.  Those hand-written notes picked me up, encouraged me in my ministry and made me want to work even harder.  And she was a grandmother and didn't have a child in our student ministry so she had nothing to gain by writing me.

One woman used to bring the church staff fresh cut flowers from her garden in the summer months on a bi-weekly basis.  They would always been in a vase on the main office counter.   I can't describe what that little ray of sunshine did for our staff as we passed by them every day.

Who can you affirm today?  Who's going through a rough patch?  You never know the impact a note card, email, fresh flowers, or a cup of coffee will make until you do it.  Paul offers this in 1 Thessalonians 5:11: Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Monty ~ that was beautifully written and should inspire anyone to take a moment and share a piece of themselves, even if it's just a smile or a nod.