Healing a Broken Heart

How do you heal the broken heart of someone you love? You don't! You and I can't heal the broken heart of a loved one like a spouse, child, parent, sibling or close friend. I think there's great value in understanding and accepting the fact that I can't "fix it", or make it all better. I am fully incapable of healing a broken heart. They say the desire to "fix it" is a dominant trait in most males. Imagine my displeasure at facing this reality about myself. However, with age and experience not only have I learned that I can't "fix" everything, but I don't have to "fix" everything. This isn't about Mars/Venus tendencies and processing so stay with me. After nearly 25 years of marriage I'm still learning that there are many things my wife just wants me to listen and process with her, but she doesn't expect me to "fix" it.

Somewhere, hopefully sooner than later, pastor types discover that there is no such thing as a magic pastoral wand, or pastor dust we can wave or sprinkle at people to make everything right. We're just as flawed and we do not have the power to control life, emotions and the behavior of people. Some pastor's are still learning this. Some people never get it and spend their entire life trying to control situations, people, organizations, or events.

So what can we do about heartache, pain, suffering, loss and profound grief of friends, family and people who are hurting? I think we can do three things:

1. We can point people to the One who not only knows about their struggle, but has the power and authority to change, or "fix" it. (Heb. 4:14-16)


2. We can listen to and encourage one another. (Heb. 10:23-25)


3. We can pray with and for each other. (Mark 14:35; James 5:13-16)

As we grow in Christ our mercy and empathy should increase. Henry and Richard Blackaby put it this way: "When you are around other people, God may sensitize you to the love He feels for them. When you see others suffering, you may feel the compassion Jesus feels." A heart captured by God can't help but respond to people in need. If God is bringing people with serious heartache and life issues to you don't be misled. He doesn't want you, or me to "fix" them. He wants us to point them to Him, the One who can provide infinite comfort, compassion and solutions.

Thomas Moore said, "Earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot heal." We (Christ-followers) must point people to the heavenly solution for ALL earthly problems. Once we do, God may very well ask us to stay with them all the way, or He may only use us for a season. We must simply be available and sensitive to the great needs around us. I've never met someone who was close to Christ who wasn't being used by God to listen, comfort, encourage and help others. If we are distracted, or inconvenienced by those with heartache or pain, perhaps we had better take stock of our relationship with Jesus.

This blog entry was written with an aching heart for several people in my life and ministry who are experiencing a variety of pain, grief, and trouble right now. I cannot take away their pain, grief, anxiety, suffering and disappointment, but I am committed to pointing them to God, listening to them and praying for and encouraging them. As my own mother wrote to me many years ago during an adolescent crisis: "Monty, I would that I could, but I cannot take away your present pain, but there is One far greater than I, who can give you peace. Read about Him in Romans 8:26-27 and call upon Him." Mom, that was great advice in the mid 1970's and it's still great advice today! I'm grateful that my parents pointed me to God, listened and encouraged me, and prayed with and for me. May we be as faithful to those who hurt around us!