Gimme a Break From Drama

I don't know about you, but I'm really tired of drama. Everywhere I turn there is drama. Drama seems to follow some athletes and celebrities like:

• Lindsay Lohan
• The Real Housewives of New York, New Jersey, etc.
• Ben Rothlisberger
• Tiger Woods
  
• Michael Vick
  
• Floyd Landis

Trust me that's a very short and nowhere close to exhaustive list. By the time I post this I'm sure there will be a celebrity somewhere who is belching more drama. Then there's crazy drama like the woman in Indiana who miscarried, then stabbed a couple while trying to kidnap their newborn infant. Fortunately the baby was unharmed and the parents survived. This is tragic, needless, surreal drama.

Poor judgment by celebrities and famous people aside, every day drama is what I'm talking about. There seem to be two kinds of drama. One is from people who constantly have to have something going on in their life. A crisis, an event, episode, or giant problem. It may not even be their own, but they thrive on the drama of others. They have a deep need to be needed. They are always at the center of something. Then there are those who create drama out of ordinary, every day life experiences, struggles, problems and events. This is unnecessary drama. They create drama by "making mountains out of molehills." Think of a middle school girls sleepover! Now there's an event nearly always accompanied by drama.

I've learned that the less credibility and attention you give to unnecessary drama the better. Attention and pity are the fuel of drama-obsessed people. Drama queens/kings tend to think emotionally and react instead of thinking things through and making a deliberate response, or none at all. They rarely "sleep on it" for a different perspective. Most of the time it's a cover for something else and they may not even know it.

We've got drama in politics, business, marriages, family units, school, neighborhoods, social circles and especially churches. Church drama is the worst because it's usually accompanied by guilt or judgment. Easy to do when you are using the "language of Zion". Remember, drama draws heavily on emotion and it often surfaces as emotional blackmail in churches. The hysteria of drama NEVER builds up a family, church, business, team, etc. Drama induced hysteria is destructive. The drama becomes the singular event or issue and everything else revolves around it. This is really harmful in marriages, family, businesses and churches because it sucks the energy out of everyone. You lose perspective because all your energy and attention is focused on the drama. Drama breeds worry and doubt.

It's easy to get sucked into the dramatic narrative. Be careful! How do you minimize, or deal with drama?

• Don't rush in, get the facts, think and pray it through before acting, or responding to someone's drama.
• Ask yourself, "Will my response enable, or help provide clarity?"
• Drama is nearly always fueled by gossip, or hearsay, so don't entertain gossip.
• Confront Drama Kings/Queens in love without judgment. Speak the truth in love.
• Remember that everyone has problems, troubles and pain. While it may seem so, the person steeped in drama is not the only person experiencing life challenges.
• Draw boundaries for the dramatics in your life. If someone's drama is because of their inability to schedule and meet deadlines, don't enable them by accepting continual tardiness, or excuses for unjustified absences.
  
• Pray for every drama king/queen you know. Pray they will let God manage their lives. Pray for their family, spouse, co-workers and friends. Pray for truth to be revealed. Pray for peace. Pray that they will grow in their beliefs and values so that even the strongest drama will not disrupt their foundation and consume them.
• Let people know that you do not participate in drama at the office, school, etc. Pretty soon the drama king/queen will go somewhere else to complain, or gain support/sympathy.

Don't confuse genuine problems and life struggles with drama. Every person you meet has legitimate concerns and life issues. Be open and willing to allow people in your life let you know if you are creating or feeding drama. A help I learned from Dr. Richard Carlson many years ago was to ask myself in the middle of a crisis, "Will this matter a year from now?" While it could be something serious, if we're honest we must admit that most drama a year later doesn't seem so urgent, dangerous or serious as it did a year ago.

"Lord, for those who struggle with drama give them clarity, focus and peace. Remind me of my own shortcomings as I relate to them. May my motivation be love. Help me to confront in love. Help me to resist the temptation to immerse myself in unnecessary and destructive drama. Remind me of Jesus, who refused to allow drama to distract Him from Your purpose and mission."