Are you down, burned out,
depressed, sad, anxious, or uncertain about the future? Over the years I have counseled a lot of
people who battle depression, fear, darkness, sadness, and anxiety. Not to mention my own personal experience! Here’s my 10 tips for battling
the darkness.
1. Find a Divine
mentor in scripture like David, Jeremiah, Paul, or someone acquainted with
darkness, struggle, fear and defeat.
Read their words. Run to David’s 22nd Psalm when he was on
the run from the madman, Saul. Take
encouragement and direction from their story.
Let their words speak the cry of your heart and pour them out to God in
prayer.
2.
Spend meaningful
time with a small child, dog, or cat. If
you don’t have one find one, or borrow someone else’s for small spurts. Okay you don’t borrow a child it might get
you into trouble with the parents. The
idea is to experience pure unconditional love.
Dogs, cats, and small children embody innocence, trust and unconditional
love. Lean into them and let go of your
junk.
3.
Check with your
doctor. Something may be going on
physically. Your endocrine system and
hormones could be out of balance. Your
serotonin levels could indicate a misfire upstairs. If your car has an unbalanced or low tire you
seek professional help. Why would your
personal health be any different? Get
over the pride and accept the fact that God has gifted bright men and women in
medicine to help us. If you are already
on meds you may need an adjustment. Don’t
self-diagnose!
4.
Do something
that’s not you. Something out of your
routine. If you don’t hike find a
friend, or someone who does and go. If
you’ve never ridden a horse, go find a stable and take a ride. If you’ve never planted flowers then plant
some. Ride a bike, walk along a
river/lake, fish, chop some wood, go bowling, visit a museum, or zoo. The idea is simply to get out of your self to
gain a different perspective.
5.
Get a journal, or
notebook and write down what you are feeling.
You may not be a writer, but just try to pour out what you are
experiencing on paper. Get it out. Process, vent, rant, cry and laugh through
your journal. Journaling is great
therapy.
6.
Volunteer and
serve. Either at your church through a
ministry, or a non-profit organization.
Serve food at a homeless shelter.
Offer your services to a local hospital, American Cancer Society,
Habitat, or some worthwhile organization that is helping people. You may not feel like it but that’s the whole
point. Get beyond yourself and help
someone with a greater need. Serving is
one of the most therapeutic acts because we begin to focus on the needs of
others and take the spotlight off ourselves.
7.
Exercise! Make yourself go to the gym, take a walk,
run, ride a bike, hot yoga, swimming, hiking, whatever you need to do. And do it for at least three weeks, not one
time and say, “This isn’t for me, I’m not seeing any results.” It takes time, but the indisputable benefits
of exercise are well documented. All
kinds of chemicals get released into the blood stream that help the body. Cortisol levels and blood pressure respond
positively to regular exercise. Sleep
patterns are improved. You slowly begin
to feel better.
8.
Don’t make
snap/quick decisions, impulse purchases, etc., when your soul is heavy. Just like after a medical procedure when they
tell you, “Don’t drive, or sign any legal documents, or make important
decisions for 24 hours.” Why? Because the anesthesia affects
decision-making. When you’re in the
darkness it’s not time to unexpectedly quit your job or, buy a new car, vacation
condo, or go gadget crazy. Why? Darkness affects our decision-making. You are seeking emotional satisfaction in
something that will soon be old and tried.
The shiny new car, or gadget we just “had to have” will not hold the same thrill a
year from now. It prevents us from
constructively facing the real issue and root of our problem. If you can’t see it, but people who love you
are telling you not to do something listen up!
They aren’t against you. They are
simply seeing things more clearly and objectively. If we wait until we are in a better place we
may decide altogether we don’t need it, or we will move forward for the right
reasons. I did this a lot in my 30’s and
40’s and can attest that it did not bring fulfillment, or cure the real
issue. In fact it often brought regret. Today, I smile when I am able to exercise restraint on such impulse, or emotionally driven decisions because that wasn't always the case.
9.
Find someone you
can talk to and process the stuff you are writing in your journal. A pastoral counselor, mentor, your pastor, or
someone who can remain objective. A
professional. Not a friend, or family
member. We need help and
objectivity. Someone emotionally
divorced from the situation that can really analyze the situation and provide
an unbiased view. And by the way, this
takes time. Sometimes we have to try
more than one until we are comfortable.
It also takes several months, not just one or two visits. You can’t unpack a lifetime of behavior,
family of origin issues and emotional pain/struggle in two hours. Recovery groups are good too.
10.
Consider the suffering
children in those UNICEF; Feed the World, CARE, or Compassion Int’l commercials
and ads. Seriously! Take stock of your life and consider how
blessed you really are compared too much of the world. It sobers me.
As a Christ-follower it encourages and inspires me to hear the life-threatening
struggles of fellow Christ-followers in oppressed countries. Their sacrifices put my circumstance in
proper perspective. I begin to see that
my “persecution/pain” while real, is nothing compared to what these people face
every single day in the Sudan, China, Iran, Syria, etc. Cancer helped me to
really appreciate just how blessed I am.
Again, it’s perspective.
There is no magic bullet or
wand when it comes to walking in darkness.
These are simply things people have repeatedly tried and have found they
really help. The first step is up to you
and me! We have to be willing to
honestly try instead of expecting dramatic results for doing the same thing over
and over. The temptation is to sulk,
pout, withdraw, hibernate, disconnect and wallow in our pain. And that hurts the ones we love most. From my personal experience it’s an excuse
and it’s cowardice! The mature,
seasoned, and growing among us deliberately choose to face the process of
coming out of the darkness even when they are afraid. These brave women and men are the ones that
have the guts to make tough choices and forge ahead with God’s help so they can
see the light. I beg you, I plead with
you, if this is you, make the decision to change. Take the first step.
A final note: If you suspect you may, or have been diagnosed with clinical depression get with a medical and mental health professional first! These steps can help, but they are intended for those struggling with seasons of depression, pain, struggle and heartache, not clinically, or chronic depression/mental health issues.
It occurred to me that many of us live our lives by the mantra, "The Price Is Right." We make decisions based upon price. Ask consumers the most important consideration for a good, product or service and the overwhelming response is "price". Quality, reputation, and value are important, but we live in a price consumed culture. If we didn't there would be fewer giant box stores, U.S. manufacturers wouldn't move overseas and China wouldn't account for nearly 20% of all U.S. imported goods. We are consumed with price. 
